2 Years on BB - How am I doing?

Hi All, I haven't been here for 6 months I needed to stay away from here for a while. I registered on BB Jan 2020 in the think of withdrawal so I wanted to come back to update you on how things are going.... I am doing so much better. I'm saddened to see that some of my Buddies are no longer members here, but I also understand that this is a traumatic experience and some people once understanding what is wrong with them need to move on from here so they can focus on their healing. I wish they were here to read my post and hope they are doing better wherever they are. To the buddies still here, thank you for all the support when I needed you, we are all warriors!

 

I am OK and happy! I am fully functional! I'm no longer in pain all day! Withdrawal no longer consumes me. I am out in the world living my life again. I feel joy, I laugh, I have hope for my future and have so many wonderful things going on at the moment. I no longer cry. I've just come back from an amazing holiday and am looking forward to 2022. I'm no longer a yo-yo, I feel stable and the handful of symptoms I still have are manageable, they come and go and are very mild. The only persisting symptom is Tinnitus (it has gotten mild so hoping it will abate). Looking back, I was in so much pain I wanted it to end, I even thought of ending my life many times. I'm happy I didn't, there is so much to live for now!

 

I do have to take rest to maintain my health and I don't compromise on this. Thankfully my new-not-so-new job allows me the space to prioritise my health. I still don't take any medications, I have medicine sensitivities still and wont risk it. I don't take alcohol still but I can eat 99% of all foods I want now, finally! I eat so much chocolate, even late at night! I sleep a lot better and have even started sleeping right through the night often! So, it took 2 years to get here having been on the meds for a few weeks. 2022 will be the year I release this experience and stop feeling bitter about how long it has taken me to get here and what was stolen from me. My prescribing Drs were found guilty of negligence & incompetence in my country so yes, we have been injured by our prescribers! So you, that is in the thick of this horrific experience, hang in there. You will get better, you will feel joy again, laugh again, recognise yourself in the mirror, see colours, hear music, dance, feel healthy, all of it!! You will have hope again and make plans for the future and this experience will be behind you. Dig deep and keep fighting, take it one day at a time and you will see, slowly it will start to get better, I'm living proof of it! I cannot stay here long as I have a lot of emotions here, I just wanted to give this feedback and I hope to come back with a ''fully healed success story, I'm crossing fingers the now mild Tinnitus stops then that will be the end for me! Please hang in there and trust that it will get better. You aren't the one random person that isn't going to get better, you will too!

T2BH, You are doing great!!!!  Thank you for posting this.  You could really write your success story. 

Trying2BHopeful:

 

So good to hear your update.  You sound like you are doing so well.  I jumped right after you and I remember reading your posts and then you taking a break from BB.  So grateful you decided to come back and write this update.    I am still not out of the woods (at 22 months), but feel as if I am getting very close.  This has been the absolute hardest thing I have ever done.  There have been many, many dark days/nights.  I have to remain hopeful and keep digging deep.    I know I will come out on the other side a more compassionate and grateful person.  All the best to you!!!

T2BH, it is wonderful to read you story and hear you are doing so well!  Bless you for stopping by and sharing such an encouraging message with the membership. 

 

Kate   

Thank you for the update on how you are doing! It's very encouraging to so many to hear positive stories like this and very much appreciated! ❤️

Thank you for the update.  So very happy for you!

Aww, Trying it's so good to hear from you, especially bearing such good tidings and news of recovering!  Your positivity in the earlier days was a needed voice for me and others here, so thank you for this.  It's still unbelievable how long this can take--even more so for those of us exposed to these drugs for only a short period of time--but we do get better.  I hope your remaining sensitivity lifts along with any of those leftover symptoms; may 2022 indeed be the year for your fully healed success story! 

 

Take care. 

 

sunshine75 

Thank you so much for posting this. It is so encouraging for all of us. I know how much just hearing that someone is out living their lives and is past a lot of the challenges is so encouraging. 

Trying2BHopeful:

 

I am still not out of the woods (at 22 months), but feel as if I am getting very close.  This has been the absolute hardest thing I have ever done.  There have been many, many dark days/nights.  I have to remain hopeful and keep digging deep.    I know I will come out on the other side a more compassionate and grateful person.  All the best to you!!!

 

Yes this is the hardest thing everyone on here has ever had to survive, it’s an unbelievable and unimaginable pain, but focus on the positives, the small wins and trust in your body’s ability to heal. It’s painfully slow yes, but it’s getting better for you even if you don’t feel it. We are off the awful drugs so we are headed in the right direction.

 

Sunshine75, oh my dear friend I hope you are doing better as well... We are healing ❤️‍🩹

I’m thinking of trying neurofeedback, if anyone has tried it, let me know how it affected you? I’m hoping it will help with retraining my brain which is still very excited I can feel it, hence the tinnitus still. If I go ahead with neurofeedback I’ll let you know if it helps.

 

Hang in there…

 

 

Congrats, happy for you. Thanks for returning and sharing.

Ahh this is great to hear from someone I've journeyed at the same time with! Glad you're doing so well. i only stop in here sporadically now too.

Live your life!!!!

Very generous to return with tidings of success and happiness. Hopeful. thank you

Wonderful to hear of your success sweetheart! I’m happy for you. Thank you for having the heart to come back to share with us from the other side. I’m sure that tinnitus will eventually fade as well. Enjoy yourself. Certainly have earned it. What a great testimony of your perseverance and strength. You are a warrior by right! Here’s your much deserved medal 🏅

I’m feeling my healing too. Slowly but surely.