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37 months


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[d4...]
I have had some big changes , in the last month or so my mental symptoms are nearly gone and it used to take me 3-5 hours to fall asleep but not I can fall asleep in a hour or less. I still have apathy but I think it is just from fighting so long and worrying about sx popping up. Now that the mental stuff is gone I think the joy will come back. I have been fighting for 5 years now including tolerance wd and my taper and I can finally see that light. HOPE kept me alive through this, I just kept hoping that tomorrow would be better and I did this over and over again and it worked.
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I think your not feeling joy symptom is because somewhere your healing ain't complete or it could be that your brain is stuck in a fight mode. If it's the 2nd case it can be recovered easily.

Btw are you free from waves now?

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This is great news and gives hope to other buddies who are struggling to keep their hope alive!  You did it your way and you can now reap the rewards you so rightly deserve!!!!

 

 

Congratulations!!!!!!!

 

GG

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[d4...]

I think your not feeling joy symptom is because somewhere your healing ain't complete or it could be that your brain is stuck in a fight mode. If it's the 2nd case it can be recovered easily.

Btw are you free from waves now?

 

Yes I don't have waves anymore

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Is

 

I knew you were close and like I said not to worry the rest will come.  You got this!  So happy to see your progress.  Get back in your life and check in soon.

 

Peace

 

U

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Hi issey

 

Well done on the 37 months out. Just had to respond to your post as I have been reading through your previous posts and can totally relate to your terrifying and strange mental episodes you have gone through over the years, mine were very much the same, the weirdest mind twisting feelings ever within the brain, a thought that you find extremely difficult to explain to anybody, it’s terribly uncomfortable and upsetting but it doesn’t physically hurt. Thankfully mine diminished over the years, so has my physical symptoms, but that mental stuff was scary beyond understanding, although I know exactly how you felt!

 

Onwards and upwards with our recovery and today we can carry the knowledge that hopefully it can never go back as far as those most uncomfortable feelings we had in the early days. That’s what dragged me through all of this was hope and time, and off course it will still carry us forward to our complete and absolute recovery.

 

Bless you Sir and bless you all who may follow in our footsteps.

 

Good luck! Banana Man.

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[d4...]

Hi issey

 

Well done on the 37 months out. Just had to respond to your post as I have been reading through your previous posts and can totally relate to your terrifying and strange mental episodes you have gone through over the years, mine were very much the same, the weirdest mind twisting feelings ever within the brain, a thought that you find extremely difficult to explain to anybody, it’s terribly uncomfortable and upsetting but it doesn’t physically hurt. Thankfully mine diminished over the years, so has my physical symptoms, but that mental stuff was scary beyond understanding, although I know exactly how you felt!

 

Onwards and upwards with our recovery and today we can carry the knowledge that hopefully it can never go back as far as those most uncomfortable feelings we had in the early days. That’s what dragged me through all of this was hope and time, and off course it will still carry us forward to our complete and absolute recovery.

 

Bless you Sir and bless you all who may follow in our footsteps.

 

Good luck! Banana Man.

 

Thank you and good point and it is a blessing to know we will never go back to the depths of mental hell we experienced and can't put into words, I am grateful that this is only a temporary condition and I now heave a deep sadness and understanding for the folks who have a true mental condition.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Issey,

 

Congratulations on 37 months - amazing! I’m super glad you are doing well.  Did you have a terrible wave at 2 years since you jumped? I’m almost 24 months off & this wave is kicking my butt. I’m horizontal.  Arghhhhh.  Hope you’re having a good day.

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[d4...]
Yes I can remember having a very hard time right around 2 years . 2 years is a very long time and by that point we are worn out and tired of fighting and I think that’s what makes it difficult. Just keep fighting time is in your side now .
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Congratulations. That all hell broke loose after taper concerns me..(just starting my taper) but always appreciate positive reports of fortitude and endurance and hanging on day by day. I am encouraged.
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Yes I can remember having a very hard time right around 2 years . 2 years is a very long time and by that point we are worn out and tired of fighting and I think that’s what makes it difficult. Just keep fighting time is in your side now .

 

Thanks Issey, I really appreciate your support & kind words. 2 years has been far too long for me & I have nothing left in me. I’ve decided to see a specialist & go on meds to give me some quality of life back. I won’t reinstate or touch another Benzo - I’m looking into lyrica, gabapentin and Anti depressants:.  Anything that will take this torture away. I’m so glad you are doing better. I hope you are having a good day. 

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