Short term Ativan user: 1 year update

Hello all,

 

Short term Ativan user (5 weeks + 4 weeks taper), jumped exactly 1 year ago.

 

Basically, I feel overall much better, but I am not yet fully healed.

 

I am going to list my symptoms to reassure those who are early on their jump that they are not alone and that symptoms from benzo withdrawal can indeed be scary.

 

Months 1-3: acute phase: waves just about every other day (occurring mostly at night): intermittent insomnia, vivid dreams waking me up in terror, inner body earthquake with head and chest vibrations/tremors, extreme tinnitus, chemical brain, shortness of breath, chest tightness, dizziness, boatiness, feeling faint, palpitations, heart flutters, head nausea, clogged ears, fluctuations in blood pressure, electric currents from head to toe, chills & hot flashes. scared most of the time of dropping dead…

 

Months 4-7: waves left significantly, some mild episodes, but nothing compared to the acute phase… felt like I was completely healing… most days at 90% feeling well, and most symptoms basically faded…these months I started driving long distances, got back to working out daily, started feeling less fearful, took vacations, fear of dying basically gone.

 

Months 8-12: waves are back, more severe than months 4-7, however not as extreme as months 1-3. Fear factor back as I realized this was going to take a lot longer than I thought. A new symptom appeared in month 8 which took me straight to the ER: PVCs (heart skips) all of a sudden while driving, which caused severe anxiety and feeling super scared… the cardiologist performed all tests for the heart and all is healthy… the PVCs occurred daily for 8 days, then disappeared. Haven’t gotten them since. During these months, a lot of symptoms faded and other symptoms morphed or shifted. Waves started occurring during the day, no longer during the night… what has changed: these months the ANXIETY and DIZZINESS ruled: I have never experienced such long episodes of extreme anxiety symptoms ever in my life for hours at a time… also, the chest/abdomen tightness, the stomach/abdomen extreme bloating also ruled… finally, the chest vibrations and jitters also at an all-time high.

 

I also want to mention something that may sound shocking to some: I actually had a total of 4 days during months 8-12 where I felt 100% well, and each lasted about 24 hrs. Additionally, I also want to mention that besides the anxiety attacks and sometimes feeling of doom, I have not experienced any type of depression… my hope and positive outlook never left my mind 🙂

 

I want to give hope by saying that things have improved immensely since the jump, I am doing things even with symptoms simply because I realized that distractions are the best way to get through this awful rollercoaster. But I have also gotten so used to feeling some symptoms on a weekly basis that I don’t panic like I used to…

 

Do not give up on healing, as we will all heal in due time…

 

Karla

Thank you for posting.  I'm  thirteen months out and have or have had most of your symptoms.  Yesterday I had such severe abdominal tightness it took my breath away.  Today I was jittery, profound fatigue, dizziness and brain fog.  It all lifted late this afternoon.  What a rollercoaster ride this is.

 

Thanks for sharing.  Pleased for you of your progress.  I was a very short term user who CT’d.  I am in my 7th month out with three remaining symptoms - broken sleep of around 5 hours, mild tinnitus and mild head/neck pain.  Not really experiencing windows and waves, symptoms are mostly constant.  I wonder if there is a short-term usage threshold where CT is a better option than tapering.  But bottom line, this recovery takes way too long for so many of us!

Hello Karlitok2003, thank you for your post. I'm 16 months out from my jump and experiencing some truly awful symptoms. It's good to know that other people out there aren't 100% healed at 1 year. I'm not saying I'm glad ANYBODY has benzo withdrawal symptoms, it's just nice to know I'm not alone. I really was looking forward to being pretty well, if not 100% well at the 12 month mark. Some symptoms are as bad as months 4 through 6. Though, like you, not as bad as months 1-3, thank the good Lord! Going through this is exhausting. I need more hope.

Thank you all!

Andy