9 months off / worst insomnia followed by best sleep

9 months off high dose of temazepam taken for 3 years. Went 10 days around thanksgiving with approx 1 hour of micro sleeps each night, the worst insomnia I have had since I stopped the pills. Previously averaging 2-3 hours per night anywhere from 1-4 with some 0’s and rare 5’s. After a few days of barely any sleep, I had a severe allergic reaction to a cleaning supply and had to take prednisone which I assume is the reason the no sleep went on for so much longer than normal bad episodes. What followed those 10 days was a 3 hour night, followed by a few 4 hour night then had several 6 hour nights of sleep in a row- It was amazing!! I actually slept 4 hours solid and that has not happened this entire time. Any sleep before this was waking up countless amount of times and

Never getting any deep sleep. Last 2 nights, still solid sleep just 4 hours but I’m still super happy about that even though I’m a little cranky that I really want those beautiful 6 hour nights of sleep again

Question - anyone else have horrible  barely any sleep periods of time followed by getting sleep? Is this how we heal- torture followed by some relief? Wish I knew what to expect from here. Hope sleep continues for a while before I get hit hard with another barely any sleep days. Im convinced that if I can get regularly 4-6 nights of sleep for maybe 1 month or so that I can be close to being healed. I want my brain to come back. And want the mild depression to go away. Would love to want to be around people again and be happy again instead of just doing what I have to to get by and not enjoying life whatsoever.  Any feedback on any of this is very much welcomed!!

Trixie, Yes and yes.  I am about where you are, a little over 8 months off.  The worst of my insomnia has leveled off to a decent sleep pattern averaging 6-7 hours total, though broken.  I am so grateful for that, but I still awake in terror.  What I did was force myself to stay in bed until 8, even if I was going nuts.  I think it helped to get back to a more normal circadian rhythm.  Then get as much light as you can when you get out of bed.

I am 8 months off today and my sleep pattern has been also very up and down and all around. I got some decent sleep 5 hours uninterrupted in September but that lasted just a couple of weeks and now back to getting jerked awake multiple times a night and waking up at around 4 a.m. per usual with anxiety. It has gotten better though. The anxiety is not as bad as it used to be.

 

According to the Fitbit I get about 1 hour of deep sleep a night and 1 hour of REM. The good days I saw the deep  and REM at around 1.5 hours. It is literally without fail that as soon as I fall asleep I am awake again in about an hour. It is sooooo weird. I wake up and check my phone/watch at least three times a night.

 

I have given up worrying about it though. It does not help. I figure sleep will come back when it comes back and thinking back on the 0 nights in July and August, well, I am just grateful for any sleep. One day I believe I will have the full night sleep I used to get and I will be so grateful. I remember once visiting a coastal town and sleeping with the windows open and I could hear the ocean. I slept from like 9 p.m. to 6 or 7 a.m. and had not woken up even once. That is the goal and I do believe it will happen but honestly if it does not I would be okay.

 

So to answer your question, I do have horrible sleep followed by getting sleep. I think just like everything in this mess, sleep is up and down recovery like the rest of it. I too also want the depression gone. I think if I just expect healing to be up and down it helps a lot. Sounds like you are definitely healing We all are!

You guys are describing my sleep patterns!,  and I am wondering the same.    There was a time several months back where I didn't sleep more than a few hours a week...  it went on for 5 weeks.  I got so crazy and run down, I reinstated!  I caught my breath, and went on to finish my taper.    One thing for sure....  my sleep patterns have been anything but linear.

 

I was sleeping a bit better a few weeks ago and now it's very choppy again.  At best an hour or two, then jittery wake up, then a few hours awake... and if I'm lucky another hour or so in the morning.  I check my phone too, checking the time.    I'm still having lots of vibrating. 

 

It's a twilight sleep mostly, but every now and then I'll have a deeper sleep with vivid dreaming I can actually remember.  What has changed for me just recently is that I'm more accepting.  I now know I can function without much sleep.  And I truly believe I'm healing.  It's better now than it was.....    it's so great to know I'm not alone...