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My Life Has Been Restored (3 months free and healed)


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Dear Buddies,

 

I have not been extremely active on the forums since finishing my taper of Klonopin and then Gabapentin. The good news is that it is because I have been slowly living my life again.

 

Let's go through the story. Given Klonopin and Paxil in Winter of 2012. I had panic disorder, agoraphobia, and GAD. Over the following years, I had learned to clear anxiety though hard work, therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and a few books that really helped. One I used was called the Linden Method, but there are many others. Low and behold, I essentially cleared my anxiety.

 

So the next step was to get off of the meds right? Well my doctor told me to go ahead and cut half and then half again. Well anyone that has been on these forums for any amount of time probably knows how that went. I'll spare the darker details at this stage.

 

Low and behold I meet Jana, who taught me Benzo Micro Tapering years ago. I joined this forum and another and learned as much as I could. Because I was working so much, I was too afraid to try the taper for several more years due to how poorly the first attempt went.

 

This year I decided it was the year. My gf had left me, I lost my job, the pandemic hit, and I figured I couldn't get much lower. So I began the process of Tapering Klonopin from .333 mgs to zero after 9 years. These is what I experienced:

- Crazy mood swings

- Anxiety like never before

- Brain fog

- Insomnia

- Shaking and trembling

- Headaches

- Intrusive thoughts

- Depression

- Agoraphobia

- Tinnitus

- Many more subtle and not to subtle withdrawal effects

- And the belief that I would be like this forever

 

Now I was very diligent during my taper. I had very precise cuts  of about 1% of the total per day using a jewelers scale that went out to .001 grams. I allowed for holds for a few days if I ever felt like I was off just a bit, had additional stressors, or ate wrong.

 

Here are the things that hurt (note: this is my personal experience):

- Rushing cuts

- MSG

- Soy

- Sugar

- Aspartame

- Anything with high glutamate like some cheeses or tomatoes

- Taking most additional meds including cannabis in my case

- Caffeine

- Extra stress

- Lack of sleep (sometimes unavoidable)

- Processed foods

- Fast food

 

Things that helped (this is my personal experience):

- Chamomile tea

- Sleeping as much as I could (very difficult)

- Magnesium supplements (glycinate, taurate, or citrate)

- B Vitamins (these need to be taken at high quality and properly) ***these can be stimulating for people and if not done in moderation

- Magnolia Bark

- Melatonin

- Time

 

Near the end of my Taper I started to get VERY strong relief using left over Gapapentin from a surgery. I DO NOT recommend this as I ended building a dependency for Gabapentin as well. I was able to taper it after I was completely done.

 

So what's the verdict now? After 4 months very carefully calculated taper and 2 months later, I was 95%. Actually in some ways I was better than before. Better memory, more energy, less anxiety than in the last 10 years. My symptoms continued to wax and wane generally getting less strong over the last 3 months. I waited to write this to be sure and to help everyone here.

 

I am now me again. I would use the word cured. The only lagging symtoms are some depression and insomnia. I am dating again and met a new girl who is currently my gf. I have traveled across the country and did not have any issues. I no longer worry if my pills are with me. I have gone to family gathering and not felt overly anxious or suffering from withdrawals. I smile again sometimes.

 

I hope this inspires everyone to keep going. Trust me, it seems impossible when you're in the middle of it. I believe I was lucky to be on a lower dose, but I still had probably 2 dozen symptoms. And my recovery was quick by some standards. But, I believe in you all and thank the mods and buddies of this forum. Shout out to Pamster. A big thank you to Jana wherever you are now.

 

3 months off completely today. I just started working again this last week. I can function as normal. I even tried drinking a glass of wine. No issues outside of I just don't like drinking anymore. I has some Chinese food. No issues. I can drink caffeine. No issues. The only thing I am not willing to test is taking another Benzo ever again.

 

I hope my story helps those of you still in the midst of struggling. I believe in you.

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Way to go!  You're an inspiration and I'm fortunate to have gotten to know you a little.  I'm happy you finally have your life back.  I look froward to writing  my success story someday. Stay well brother.
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Thank you for writing your success story, I appreciate the detail you've given about what hurt and helped, this will benefit so many members.  I'm happy you're doing so well, I love success stories and thank you for the shout out!  :smitten:
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. Can you explain your DMT in more detail? Did you stick with dry cutting the whole way down or end up switching to liquid? Thanks
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Personally the scale was just barely good enough at .001 reductions on a .5mg Klonopin pill aplit in half. I used the following scale:

 

Smart Weigh GEM20- 20g x 0.001 Grams, High Precision Digital Milligram Jewelry Scale, Reloading, Jewelry and Gems Scale, Calibration Weights and Tweezers Included

 

Make sure you put the Benzo on top of the weight to get the best accuracy.

 

I took 2 doses daily, and reduced .001 from one of the doses each day.

 

I believe that liquid is more accurate at any level below this, and I absolutely would highly recommend it. I used it for part of my taper. Klonopin mixed in with either a high fat content like milk or alcohol for solubility. Micro reduce daily and get high precision when using 100ML cylinder full of the total mix. Basically you just remove the amount out you want (in my case 1 ML) which was a 1% reduction. There are better and more detailed explanations in the titration section. I remember Colin was not someone who did well with Benzo Micro Taper, but I am a huge advocate of it. Simply because you only ever cut as much as your body can tolerate.

 

I was lucky, because I also knew my mistake lag time. Meaning if I was slightly off, it took 3 days for increased symptoms. I could could back and read my journal and spreadsheet to see any mistakes. I also got sick a few times and went back and checked my food. Sure enough I accidently ate MSG and boy did I pay for it. But the good news is I almost always was able to reverse engineer my mistakes.

 

Hope this is helpful.

 

 

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Hello Rob, Bravo! Very nice work.

 

There are many similarities between us. I have been preparing to write my own success story. I rarely looked at the forum while tapering, but I am much better now.

 

I saw that you had tinnitus. Did it go away with your other symptoms? Could you describe how it felt as it went away? I had mild tinnitus for many years, but during tapering, it became much louder. I took a nap and woke up with it. Bam, like a switch. Other symptoms are all gone, but no improvement with the sounds.

 

Thank you DigitalRob, and again the heartiest congratulations!

 

 

 

 

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Lb,

 

Thank you for the great response. I'm happy to hear you are doing well. I definitely understand not wanting to post too often during the process. It's also scary to read too many things sometimes.

 

I'm excited to see you post your story. As for the tinnitus, it was something I never let get too out of hand. I used it as the cannery to tell me if I tapered too quickly. Generally it slowly went away with some days it ringing slightly less. It's one of those side effects that when it went away, I actually just noticed that I didn't notice anything. It was very subtle, and I wasn't thinking about it and just didn't return. So it sort of went as it came for me.

 

Congratulations on being much better and completing your journey!  I hope you can get some peace and that any lingering effects will improve.

 

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