My Story and thankyou for yours

I had my last dose of xanex exactly 2 months ago. Withdrawal has been one of the most difficult things I’ve handled in my life but today I am much better. Reading the stories of others really helped me get through this so I thought I should share mine as well.  There is hope, things do get better, but it takes time and it is a remarkably slow process.

 

I was prescribed a fairly low dose of xanex over a decade ago, 1mg as needed with roughly 15 pills a month. This was for anxiety to be used as needed when I had serious panic attacks. I used it as needed for years, perhaps maybe once a month but in recent years I started to use it to help with sleep. I also take Adderall which made sleep difficult. Eventually I found myself using it daily and for around 6 months I took .5mg every night to sleep.  After reading about the relationship between benzos and dementia I decided to quit taking it. Over the past year I started having memory problems so I felt it may be related.

 

I expected this to be a non-event, naturally I knew I’d have trouble sleeping but I knew I would get over it. One day while at work I suddenly had trouble thinking, I was weak, dizzy and scared. I found myself going to the restroom over a dozen times a day. When I would poop, the stool would be strange colors often yellow or grey, suggesting my body was failing to digest fats. My assumption at the time was that I had a serious medical issue and did not suspect withdrawal.

 

I went to urgent care, and they suggested it was a urinary tract infection and gave me antibiotics. This was about 5 days after I first noticed anything, and it did not help. Shortly after taking them, I developed tinnitus. I visited my regular doctor who prescribed me the xanex and he said I simply was suffering from anxiety and refused to believe it was related to the xanex. He just prescribed me an SSRI which I never took. I saw around 5 different doctors, I got a colonoscopy, ultrasound and a number of other procedures. The doctors all found nothing, just high blood pressure. At that point I realized it had to be benzo withdrawal. I tried to start a taper at that point, but it did not help much. The Xanex helped for maybe one night, but I was not much better the next day. However, understanding the problem did help me manage it. At first, I had no idea what was happening and thought I was dying. This made my anxiety worse.

 

I was completely miserable for the first few weeks. Here are some symptoms

- yellow flakes in stool. loose, possibly some red

- some days, struggle to walk up stairs

- cloudy head, trouble thinking

- frequent urination and desire to go

- loss of apatite

- occasional temperature issues but no fever

- occasional chest muscle pain under ribs

- memory loss

 

I lost around 13lbs in the first few weeks.  Once some symptoms went away news ones would pop up. Right when I started to think I was getting better, I started to feel electric shocks in my left leg. The tinnitus got worse, and symptoms would come and go.

There were quite a few supplements mentioned on this forum, I tried some and and they generally did not help. I did stick with 5-htp. It is not clear to me if it helps with my anxiety, but it doesn’t seem to hurt. Pumpkin seed oil helped a little with the urination issues.  I also found that my Adderall really made my symptoms worse, so I had to quit that as well.

 

Today most of my symptoms are gone. I still have tinnitus and I am trying to learn to live with it. It seems to be the one remaining issue and perhaps it will never go away. My anxiety is bad but so far it is under control without drugs. I know some people here suffered for far longer, so I feel lucky.  I know my journey may not be over, things could get worse, and I need more time to heal. But I am optimistic about the future.

 

My advice to anyone going through withdrawal is that time, exercise, and good nutrition are the only things that will help. The brain seems to take a long time to heal itself and it can feel like forever. Keep pushing forward one step at a time.

 

To everyone who came before me and shared your stories. Thankyou. You helped me get through this and I am grateful.

 

 

[edit roughly 2 years later]

 

just wanted to give an update. My tinnitus is mostly gone. I still hear it occasionally, perhaps once a week but I barely notice it.

 

Congratulations and I pray nothing but complete healing for you!

 

PG

Thank you for writing your story shortcircuit, I lived on the success stories too, I agree with your summation that time and self care are our greatest tools for recovery, so glad you shared this.  I wish you happiness and a wonderful life.

Congratulations! It's great to see a success story at 2 months out. I'm glad you are coping with the lessened lingering symptoms. Best luck with your benzo free life.

Congratulations mate!

Congrats Short. May your healing continue and enjoy your life benzo free. 

I had my last dose of xanex exactly 2 months ago. Withdrawal has been one of the most difficult things I’ve handled in my life but today I am much better. Reading the stories of others really helped me get through this so I thought I should share mine as well.  There is hope, things do get better, but it takes time and it is a remarkably slow process.

 

I was prescribed a fairly low dose of xanex over a decade ago, 1mg as needed with roughly 15 pills a month. This was for anxiety to be used as needed when I had serious panic attacks. I used it as needed for years, perhaps maybe once a month but in recent years I started to use it to help with sleep. I also take Adderall which made sleep difficult. Eventually I found myself using it daily and for around 6 months I took .5mg every night to sleep.  After reading about the relationship between benzos and dementia I decided to quit taking it. Over the past year I started having memory problems so I felt it may be related.

 

I expected this to be a non-event, naturally I knew I’d have trouble sleeping but I knew I would get over it. One day while at work I suddenly had trouble thinking, I was weak, dizzy and scared. I found myself going to the restroom over a dozen times a day. When I would poop, the stool would be strange colors often yellow or grey, suggesting my body was failing to digest fats. My assumption at the time was that I had a serious medical issue and did not suspect withdrawal.

 

I went to urgent care, and they suggested it was a urinary tract infection and gave me antibiotics. This was about 5 days after I first noticed anything, and it did not help. Shortly after taking them, I developed tinnitus. I visited my regular doctor who prescribed me the xanex and he said I simply was suffering from anxiety and refused to believe it was related to the xanex. He just prescribed me an SSRI which I never took. I saw around 5 different doctors, I got a colonoscopy, ultrasound and a number of other procedures. The doctors all found nothing, just high blood pressure. At that point I realized it had to be benzo withdrawal. I tried to start a taper at that point, but it did not help much. The Xanex helped for maybe one night, but I was not much better the next day. However, understanding the problem did help me manage it. At first, I had no idea what was happening and thought I was dying. This made my anxiety worse.

 

I was completely miserable for the first few weeks. Here are some symptoms

- yellow flakes in stool. loose, possibly some red

- some days, struggle to walk up stairs

- cloudy head, trouble thinking

- frequent urination and desire to go

- loss of apatite

- occasional temperature issues but no fever

- occasional chest muscle pain under ribs

- memory loss

 

I lost around 13lbs in the first few weeks.  Once some symptoms went away news ones would pop up. Right when I started to think I was getting better, I started to feel electric shocks in my left leg. The tinnitus got worse, and symptoms would come and go.

There were quite a few supplements mentioned on this forum, I tried some and and they generally did not help. I did stick with 5-htp. It is not clear to me if it helps with my anxiety, but it doesn’t seem to hurt. Pumpkin seed oil helped a little with the urination issues.  I also found that my Adderall really made my symptoms worse, so I had to quit that as well.

 

Today most of my symptoms are gone. I still have tinnitus and I am trying to learn to live with it. It seems to be the one remaining issue and perhaps it will never go away. My anxiety is bad but so far it is under control without drugs. I know some people here suffered for far longer, so I feel lucky.  I know my journey may not be over, things could get worse, and I need more time to heal. But I am optimistic about the future.

 

My advice to anyone going through withdrawal is that time, exercise, and good nutrition are the only things that will help. The brain seems to take a long time to heal itself and it can feel like forever. Keep pushing forward one step at a time.

 

To everyone who came before me and shared your stories. Thankyou. You helped me get through this and I am grateful.

 

Exercise, nutrition and mindfulness do not have any influence. Its just time.

Don't think you can really say that Mensch. I agree that time is the absolute biggest healer and it is the only thing that is fully gonna get us through this. Just sticking with it until it passes. But exercise, sleep, nutrition, meditation are essential to live a better, healthier life that will enable better healing.