5 years 6 months since my CT!

I jumped CT 5 years and 6 months ago, August 5, 2016.  I'm still here (occasionally) as I promised another Buddy (Alohafromhawaii) I would come back and help when I could.  I've been healed for some time now and my life has returned to 99.9% the way it was before Benzos.  I didn't say 100% because I still get an off night of sleep every few months, but 100% of my symptoms disappeared years ago!

 

There were many times I thought I'd never heal let alone live a normal life.  You can read my success story here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=191732.0

 

Almost everyone believes that they will not heal and will be stuck for life....I am here to tell you that's not true and that is actually a WD symptom to go to the extreme negative and believe the worst!

 

There is hope, there is healing..trust the process...trust that time WILL heal you!

Thank you for sharing your story again.  I am in tears with hope this very difficult morning.  I think I can make it through the day now with this encouragement.  Thank you, thank you!

I’m so greatful to you old buddies for sticking around to help us. We’re so lucky to have you. Thanks the way, and thanku to aloha too x

I don't know about lucky, but yeah, it's nice to have some "veterans" hang around and help

 

All I wanted (needed) to hear during my WD was that it would end one day..

You nailed it on so many points. Nothing will help speed up the process, only time and God will get you through it. Support would have been great but my wife divorced me and my daughter was embarrassed to have me around. I managed to make it almost 3 years now and like you said you will have those 'weeks' where you dont feel so great.

 

As for not worrying about sleep, great idea if you can pull it off. I have, I think, to a point. I lay down and love my bed, I enjoy my pillows and my trusty dog laying with me. Remmy gives me great comfort. Anything that can give you the slightest bit of comfort take advantage of it.....my life has improved and now several nights a week I have my wonderful girlfriend by my side (I will never forget my Remmy as he was there during the really tough nights...)

 

I read stories like yours and think back to my journey and I get teary every time. Only benzo survivors know the real mental torture that occurs.

 

Hope and time are your friends. We need hope to get us through the tough days and time leads us towards healing. Really, those are you best bets. Fortunately, we do heal! As you correctly said, my timeline is different from others. I thank God for letting me get to this point.

 

I now have a wonderful woman in my life who gives me a reason to move forward. My daughter is coming back to me in incremental steps. Benzo w/d drives people away but over time they see your improvement. Tomorrow is always better, never lose HOPE.

 

God speed to those behind us....keep up the fight as it will get better..I promise.

 

Ron

Ron,

 

Thanks for the kind words and support.

 

I'm glad you're in a better place now with your healing and recovery, but more importantly your life in general

 

God Bless!

I am 7 months off today and essentially CT bc I did not know what I was doing. Your story gives me encouragement. Many of the same symptoms..... some are lessening but many still there.... this is a sad and lonely process. Your story is encouraging me.

Great...that's why I wrote it to give encouragement and hope to those still struggling.

 

Time will heal you.  Hang in there!

 

your story def spoke to me and still does...so awesome that you still come back! Please keep checking in - we need it

Thanks Trina,

 

I am still here because I honestly believe in paying it back and forward! 

Thank you for being here and coming back to help us. I saved parts of your story and cut and pasted it to my phone so I could just read and re-read it on the rough days. Especially the "you WILL heal" and the part that references thinking I won't is just a symptom. I had a rough day yesterday and reading these things from someone who has recovered always helps.

 

I am coming up on month 9 and sometimes I just feel so defeated. Just yesterday I had to drive in rough city traffic 3 hours total and be out and about all day, interacting and listening to a family member cursing (after a legal hearing that was done via phone - he is a lawyer and the judge just did not see things his way) and I came home and just lost it. And am still recovering today.... Had to just stay home and rest and decompress. My point is- days like today I need to hear that this will pass. I was no wilting lily before all of this. I hope I get my sea legs back one day.

 

Thank you!

Holdingontohope,

 

You WILL get your "sea legs" back one fine day for SURE!

 

This journey seems impossible and not doable at times, but those are only TEMPORARY feelings the same way that your WD is TEMPORARY!

 

This won't last forever, even though it feels like it will!

 

Your symptoms and WD WILL pass and they are passing with each day!

 

Even though it doesn't feel like it, you ARE making progress, you ARE healing and you WILL recover!