Relativity and perspective during windows and waves

Hi guys, was just wondering if I could ask a question with regards to how you perceive and experience your windows and waves

 

Obviously, the up and down nature of benzo recovery is one of the most emotionally difficult parts of it. How you may go through a prolonged window and thin you're recovered, than BANG the window slams shut and your in the midst of a horrendous wave that you don't see the end of. Others have wild fluctuations throughout the day.

 

I was wondering, how do these affect you emotionally? For example, I had a really good month long window, particularly the last two weeks of it. Then a 3/4 day wave. I appear to emerging into a window again now, hopefully.

 

One of the really difficult aspects of this is the uncertainty- I mean, I had started to feel like I was recovered. Then a wave hit. Then I worried, as I always do, that it was gonna last for a long time, or even be permanent. Then it has subsided a little. I'm not as good as I was pre-wave, but I'm the best I've been since it hit.

 

 

How do you guys deal with this? Do you find yourself being duped by the windows? Duped by the waves? Are you able to keep hope, but not get fooled into hoping for too much? Do you just not think about it and take it as it comes? When the wave hits, do you always worry it will last much longer than it does?

 

Any and all thoughts and takes on this are welcome

Things are kinda different for me now as you know, Hurricane. X) However, in the early days I would just hold onto the words of others that things would get worse, then better again. Tomorrow is a new day and all that. There's so much evidence of this on this site that its really hard to ignore. Try not to be scared, though. The idea is that as time goes on waves get less and windows become more frequent. I can't see why you'd be any different.

And for which I'm very glad! You sure as shit deserve it Kiro.

 

Yeah, during absolute acute I was terrified and I just survived day by day hoping it would end or I would at least get an evening window. I dropped all of my responsibilities and just suffered through it.

 

I do always try and remain open to the possibility that tomorrow will be a good day. This is my 3rd good day in a row, I'm not normal, at least early on in the day, but I'm much better.

 

I just worry about how long this will last. Main worries being about university and my relationship. Hard to be a good boyfriend when you're going through a wave