Author Topic: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update  (Read 2080 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2021, 02:03:29 pm »
Good to hear youíre trying therapy. I also had therapy for a few months. It helped me gain more confidence and assurance that trouble donít last always. I was admonished to write when Iím feeling bad or simply when intrusive thoughts try to hang around. Do a simple addressing of what they are. Call them out! Then go do something positive. Why? Because theyíre symptoms just like all the other things. For example the thought comes up that Iím not getting better. Immediately I call it a liar then write down what HAS gotten better or is gone! I laugh at it.  :thumbsup:
Then I go watch Netflix, play a fun game or call someone who I enjoy talking to.  :thumbsup:
In other wordsÖ..observe and donít participate in the benzo madness.
I hope this helps.
Please arm yourselves to control what you can control. Get some benzo tools to fight for your health. Accept, expect and distract. Iím 16 months off Ambien. It destroyed my life, my home, my health, my marriage, my relationships  etc but you know what? It didnít destroy ME! Iím definitely headed back to life. Itís not easy but endurance is my best friend. It will seem like thereís no hope or you canít do it but yes you can. Iím bedridden because of it but Iím fighting. Each day I ask myself, what CAN I do today to help me. In a wave, I say to myselfÖ.ok we know what this is. What can we do to ignore it until it passes? I talk to myself so much saying ď weĒ that I sound like Smeagol from Lord of the rings!  :laugh:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2021, 04:12:30 pm »
Good to hear youíre trying therapy. I also had therapy for a few months. It helped me gain more confidence and assurance that trouble donít last always. I was admonished to write when Iím feeling bad or simply when intrusive thoughts try to hang around. Do a simple addressing of what they are. Call them out! Then go do something positive. Why? Because theyíre symptoms just like all the other things. For example the thought comes up that Iím not getting better. Immediately I call it a liar then write down what HAS gotten better or is gone! I laugh at it.  :thumbsup:
Then I go watch Netflix, play a fun game or call someone who I enjoy talking to.  :thumbsup:
In other wordsÖ..observe and donít participate in the benzo madness.
I hope this helps.
Please arm yourselves to control what you can control. Get some benzo tools to fight for your health. Accept, expect and distract. Iím 16 months off Ambien. It destroyed my life, my home, my health, my marriage, my relationships  etc but you know what? It didnít destroy ME! Iím definitely headed back to life. Itís not easy but endurance is my best friend. It will seem like thereís no hope or you canít do it but yes you can. Iím bedridden because of it but Iím fighting. Each day I ask myself, what CAN I do today to help me. In a wave, I say to myselfÖ.ok we know what this is. What can we do to ignore it until it passes? I talk to myself so much saying ď weĒ that I sound like Smeagol from Lord of the rings!  :laugh:

This is fantastic advice! Truly.
I wish I had much more of the mentality that you do but I am working on it and defiantly always try and look on the bright side of things or at least take away positives from the situation.
Thank you for sharing this, I am going to start using some of these strategies.
I hope your start to feel better very very soon!! :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2021, 04:32:27 pm »
Well so far I have had two really good days!

Although I'm still waking several times a night I am able to sleep again without the sickening anxiety all night long. I have been having some nightmares that leave me feeling very emotionally drained upon waking but I've been able to shake that feeling quite quickly.
I'm eating again and actually feeling hungry, I have very little to no anxiety throughout the day the last two days... dare I say I am feeling almost completely normal again?
I know this could change very quickly and this may just be a few days of a "window" but I'm okay with that. The fact that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel lets me know that I can come back from a med induced setback - it may feel terribly inhumane but that it WILL END.

I may be totally out to lunch on this one but here are some things that I have been doing that I feel have helped and these are also things I did when I was in WD.
Very old school mentality but I wont touch anything that doesn't come from clean eating - no supplements of any sort, and no meds (not even Tylenol, although if I REALLY needed it I would take some, although I don't find Tylenol has ever helped me with benzo symptoms).
I drink tons of water everyday - literally gallons lol
I try and get moving, on days that it seems impossible ill go for a short walk outside and on days that I'm feeling a bit better I try and run on the elliptical for 30 minutes or so.
No sugar other then what comes from eating fruit, no honey, no maple syrup, nothing - for me sugar has always been a stimulant and until my NS is completely clamed down I don't want to add a single thing to it that might revv it up.
I eat as clean as possible, no processed foods, and try to consume as many fruits and veggies as possible (especially for their fiber/prebiotic properties).
Luckily I have not dealt with a histamine intolerance at any point during WD or my setbacks and because of this I try to add fermented foods to my diet to get probiotics - organic Kiefer is my go to but there's lots of other options ill eat too.

Now does any of this actually work? Your guess is as good as mine. But I do feel like I am setting myself up for the best possible chances at healing as I can.

The one mistake I feel like I made after coming out of WD and being "healed" in January was letting go of so many of these good habits. I wasn't as diligent and although as time goes on and i start to feel better again I will allow myself to once again indulge in something processed or a dessert im going to try and make it on special occasions only.

I have read on many different posts here and groups on Facebook that we should be waiting 2 years after our very last symptom is gone to basically "let our guard down" and although I don't ever intend to reintroduce alcohol into my life (at one point I definitely thought I would), I want to set myself up for the best possible chance at healing and overcoming any future setbacks now that I know that I'm still so sensitive to things.

I hope I continue to feel this good as the days go on but if I dont and im thrown back into a wave, ill be thankful for these last few amazing days. Either way, ill continue to document and update.
I hope my experience gives someone else the hope that you will come out of this OK! The symptoms that I experienced during this setback are far worse then my acute or WD phases ever were... and yet, IM HEALING!

Sending you all so much love, hang in there.  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2021, 05:02:10 pm »
Wow Time, this was excellent report. Iím finding that my setback is improving faster than last time as well. It was also worse than acute. Isnít that strange? Iím so happy for your progress. It sounds like youíve done all the right things. It will continue to give you the rewards as time passes. Iím hopeful reading your thread here. I also am careful what I eat and do. Although bedridden, I do what I can when I can but I have to be careful to push and not shove. Iím sure you know what I mean. I lay here after reading your last post thinking to myself what you must feel like right now after being slammed so hard but now feeling so close to normal. Itís funny how those two worlds of windows and waves are so extreme. Iím the same as you in my windows. Iím aware that they could close so I just enjoy them until they do. You know, Time, if I could just tolerate walking I could make more progress as you have. Iím sure Iíll get there soon enough. Iím not sure what caused my setback probably stress. I am remaining positive too that setbacks are temporary. Iíll bounce back as you are now.  :thumbsup: Thanks for giving me some added confidence.
My best wishes to you that your final window opens never to shut again. Hugs  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #24 on: October 28, 2021, 05:14:39 pm »
Wow Time, this was excellent report. Iím finding that my setback is improving faster than last time as well. It was also worse than acute. Isnít that strange? Iím so happy for your progress. It sounds like youíve done all the right things. It will continue to give you the rewards as time passes. Iím hopeful reading your thread here. I also am careful what I eat and do. Although bedridden, I do what I can when I can but I have to be careful to push and not shove. Iím sure you know what I mean. I lay here after reading your last post thinking to myself what you must feel like right now after being slammed so hard but now feeling so close to normal. Itís funny how those two worlds of windows and waves are so extreme. Iím the same as you in my windows. Iím aware that they could close so I just enjoy them until they do. You know, Time, if I could just tolerate walking I could make more progress as you have. Iím sure Iíll get there soon enough. Iím not sure what caused my setback probably stress. I am remaining positive too that setbacks are temporary. Iíll bounce back as you are now.  :thumbsup: Thanks for giving me some added confidence.
My best wishes to you that your final window opens never to shut again. Hugs  :smitten:

[...],

I cried reading your response. You genuinely have such an amazing, positive outlook on things and I truly wish that I could always have an attitude more like yours even when I am struggling.
I totally get what your saying about not pushing it. For the first week of my setback I literally could not do anything and that's what was right for my body at the time! Even if you can tolerate some light stretching in bed or absolutely nothing at all then that's what you need to do and you should continue to listen to your body. You seem very entuned with yourself, which so many of us aren't. That's huge and I think will serve you very well in the long run.
I have spent a lot of time on here as well as on several of the FB groups and it seems that most setbacks don't last long - a few weeks to a few months, especially if we can try and hold out and not add any other meds to our systems during this time.. but even if we do, we will absolutely heal. I've spoken with people like Dr. Jenn and she has reassured me time and time again that we heal from these things and that setbacks don't take away from all the progress we have made so far (although they may feel terrible)..  she herself has suffered setbacks in her 10 years of working with the benzo community and has come out the other side completely healed and this gives me so much hope.

I truly hope you get a break from symptoms too and that you are able to do more things very soon! Do you mind me asking if you have help and support right now?

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #25 on: October 28, 2021, 05:34:58 pm »
Yes I have reached out to Jenn as well when I was stuck in bed and had to leave my home to move into an apartment after my husband left me. She basically told me to just muster up whatever strength I could and just get in the car. I waited for a small window that I was getting after lunch time each day and I did just that. When I got to my new place I started making some progress to the point I was able to take short walks, do small chores and cook small meals without any assistance. I was very careful and rested several times during the day. But the beginning of this month I was slammed back down to not being able to take care of myself or my child. So last week I hired a personal assistant. My daughter is 13 as of last weekend so she pretty much can do for herself but she still needs me. Other than hiring this [...] I had only a couple of relatives that would run an errand for me from time to time. I laid in bed helpless alone every day praying that I didnít fall or get in serious trouble. Absolutely terrifying to be in this situation. But I made a choice to stay positive. To help others on here from my bed. If I can get out of my bed prison before then I can do it again.  :thumbsup:
With this setback, Iíve noticed I have a shift. I now get morning dread followed by morning waves and night waves at bedtime. Evenings are my windows. Thatís when I get up to see how much my walking has improved.
Your posts made me cry tooÖwith joy and confirmation.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #26 on: October 28, 2021, 06:03:22 pm »
[...],

Please know you are an absolutely amazing human being. The fact that you are dedicating so much of your own time even though you are still suffering to give people hope and words of kindness instead of spreading more fear is amazing. My hat goes off to you, truly. I am also a mom, my kiddos are still toddlers though and its terrifying to feel so disabled, although I cant even begin to pretend that I was ever in a bedbound position - I have been mentally hit with symptoms (terror, fear, anxiety, severe depression) way worse then any physical symptom, which is probably what makes it easier for me to "push through". But ultimately my kids are my reason for everything.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband and the struggle that this move and such has been for you, I pray you get a much deserved LONG window very very soon!!!!! Good for you for hiring help and doing what you need to do to best care for yourself and your daughter, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice to make.
How long have you been off for? (Again if you don't mind me asking, at any time feel free to respond if im prying).  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #27 on: October 28, 2021, 06:21:25 pm »
Ambience was the only medication I took. I was on it for 7-8 years including the tapering. I was on varying degrees over the years with the highest dosage being 12.5 mg CR taken for nearly 2 years. So I learned to taper from here on BB. Iíve been off for 16 debilitating months.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #28 on: November 02, 2021, 12:02:21 pm »
Well it's been 4 weeks and 3 days since the first dose of Doxy and I'm also 23 months off benzo's today!
I have continued to have really good days. Some minor lingering symptoms here and there that seem to randomly pop up - some mild anxiety, issues sleeping here and there, still some gut issues but otherwise everything symtpom wise has dissapeared. This all happened right within the time frame that everyone I spoke to said it would happen. From the days of pouring over old stories and experiences on here and on the Facebook groups the "average" setback seems to last a few weeks, to a few months, with the most common timeframe from those I have spoken with being 4-8 weeks. Obviously like anything in this there are exceptions to this, and it probably helped that I only took two days on the antibiotics but I would definitely consider myself 95% again.

I still have some major major fear of the future and all of the what if's in regards to ever needing future antibiotics or meds. But I'm working with a wonderful psychologist that's local to me as well as someone well known within the Benzo community to try and get my mindset and fear in check so that it doesn't continue to rule me like it is right now.

Today's big win is that last night I finally had a solid 6 hour stretch of sleep that I haven't had since this all started!!! I'm so thankful!!!

Is this just a window? Maybe. But I'm going to treat it like a door and walk through and close this chapter (and major road bump) in my healing journey.
I hope this experience will be helpful and motivating to anyone going through a medication setback in the future to know that you too will come out the other side ok and that if you can hang in there alot of medication setbacks are short lived.

Hang in there everyone, keep fighting the fight!!  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Setback Improvement - Will continue to update
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2021, 05:08:31 pm »
Oh man I needed this today.  Thank you!  I am day 5 of a terrible setback worse than the worst of acute.  Hoping I heal as fast as you are healing!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.