Anxiety and symptoms growing worse during taper; feeling broken.

I’ve been tapering .25X that I took once a day for 2.5 months. I had the burning skin/scalp interdose so that’s when I realized I needed to get off. I’m doing all low histamine and taking histamine probiotics. Still not much relief. The scalp continues to bother me. I’ve been to the dermatologist twice who was no help a few months ago. The thing that concerns me most is that am having increased anxiety and now depression. I feel like the tapering has only poisoned my body more. I’m having panic attacks at night and major stress anxiety attacks during the day at work.  The anxiety is unlike I’ve ever had. I’m scared now that as I continue to taper I am only making things worse. My spirit is broken. I’m having dark thoughts about living life as well.  I’ve tried the mindfulness, videos, books, exercise walking, forums, down on my knees in prayer; yet I usher in no relief. I told my doc about this overwhelming sense of dread and despair and she prescribed ser-a-quell, which I do not want to take. I feel like I’m the only one with such great suffering. I don’t know what to do. It’s makes me sick to my stomach that my life has come to this. I pray the Lord will heal me or just take me home.  This mental suffering is pure torment and the burning is too much. I need mercy. Does anyone else have this? I’m broken hearted that my healing has not come; I’ve prayed so much. I believe Gods word is true and I’ve prayed the scriptures…I’m in a low place. It feels like I am loosing it. Lord help us all.  Bless you.🙏

Hello Jordanjack,

 

I have been off BenzoBuddies for several months and unfortunately reinstated a couple of months back and need to update my signature line with the most recent activity.  I hope you get this message.  I too have felt everything you have mentioned, struggling immensely with anxiety, and deep, dark depression.  You are not the only one with such great suffering....I know how these horrible symptoms make you feel utterly alone and even that God does not hear or see you or your pain (at least this is my experience).  I know the feelings of total despair and living with these symptoms moment to moment.  Please know you are not alone.  I hope you get this message.  God Bless you. I am kind of new to BB as I have been going it alone but realize this is not working at all... write me anytime. Holly

I totally understand how you're feeling.  I've been there and it's absolutely horrid.  But no, you're not alone.  Many people feel the exact same way.

 

 

I feel so bad for you jordan. I am still struggling with horrible anxiety myself. Thank god the horrible anxiety has not culminated with panic attacks again. The thing I find most distressing about chronic anxiety is that it never goes away. The feeling is there from the time I awake until when I am finally able to fall asleep. The only time I do not feel it is when I am asleep.

I get the same. Not all days, I do have days where the anxiety is more situational. Unfortunately I am currently on a run of a few days like you just described. The anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it was during acute, it is comparatively, but it's pervasive.

 

Funnily, during acute, I would have a 4-6 hour window on the evening after going through hell for the first half/three quarters of the day. Pick your poison ey?

I recommend watching 'The Anxiety Guy' videos on Youtube. It has helped considerably with my anxiety while tapering

I recommend watching 'The Anxiety Guy' videos on Youtube. It has helped considerably with my anxiety while tapering

 

Hi Twindubs,

Your taper looks to be going pretty well.  Congratulations on getting where you are at now.  Have you suffered from other wd symptoms beside the anxiety?  Anxiety has been my #1 I'm going to check the video you suggested.

 

Wishing you continued success.

How are you doing today JordanJack?

Hi Dianedeedee,

 

My main symptoms were crippling anxiety which are starting to lesson and lesson. I also had many bouts of insomnia lack of sleep but those are also getting better. Lastly I've had tinnitus off and on. Other than that not too much. Just when I don't sleep and have major anxiety it just makes everything miserable. Doing my best to focus on mindset and positive outcomes. I hope this helps!

Twindubs thank you so much.  I understand the crippling anxiety.  I am so sorry about your insomnia and tinnitus too. 

 

You are so close to the finish line!

Hello Jordanjack,

 

I have been off BenzoBuddies for several months and unfortunately reinstated a couple of months back and need to update my signature line with the most recent activity.  I hope you get this message.  I too have felt everything you have mentioned, struggling immensely with anxiety, and deep, dark depression.  You are not the only one with such great suffering....I know how these horrible symptoms make you feel utterly alone and even that God does not hear or see you or your pain (at least this is my experience).  I know the feelings of total despair and living with these symptoms moment to moment.  Please know you are not alone.  I hope you get this message.  God Bless you. I am kind of new to BB as I have been going it alone but realize this is not working at all... write me anytime. Holly

 

Hi Holly,

Bless you; thank you so much. It’s truly a difficult time for me and I’m so sorry that you are enduring the same. I feel very alone, and the anxiety, depression, fear and trembling are overwhelming.

The burning skin/scalp torment me daily. I’m just exhausted by it all. My work is very stressful which makes it hard to heal.

I know God hears my pleas for mercy and prayers; I’m just heartbroken that I’m not healed.

I still have a long way to go with tapering and have switched back to dry cuts today as my compounded dosage liquid seemed to not work well. I pray I stabilize soon.

I pray that you heal and that renewed strength and health wil soon be yours.

Feel free to message me so we can encourage one another.

God Bless you! 🙏❤️

I totally understand how you're feeling.  I've been there and it's absolutely horrid.  But no, you're not alone.  Many people feel the exact same way.

 

 

Thank you so much Sage. I’m sorry you have endured the same.

Bless you! 🙏❤️

I feel so bad for you jordan. I am still struggling with horrible anxiety myself. Thank god the horrible anxiety has not culminated with panic attacks again. The thing I find most distressing about chronic anxiety is that it never goes away. The feeling is there from the time I awake until when I am finally able to fall asleep. The only time I do not feel it is when I am asleep.

 

Hi AntiBenz,

I’m so sorry you’re enduring the same. The anxiety is unlike I’ve ever experienced.

I feel it all day and wake up trembling in my sleep. Then I have to get up and pace the floor.

It’s truly horrific. I feel a knot in my stomach most days, and the burning adrenaline and cortisol surges feel like acid in my veins. I’m so sorry you have had a difficult time.

I know it’s all Benzo and I pray for our healing. Bless you! 🙏❤️

I get the same. Not all days, I do have days where the anxiety is more situational. Unfortunately I am currently on a run of a few days like you just described. The anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it was during acute, it is comparatively, but it's pervasive.

 

Funnily, during acute, I would have a 4-6 hour window on the evening after going through hell for the first half/three quarters of the day. Pick your poison ey?

 

Hi Hurricane,

What a unique name. I grew up on the East Coast and have seen some big hurricanes. I used to enjoy tracking them too.

I’m so sorry that you have experienced the horrible anxiety as well. It is truly distressing.

Did you ever have trembling from them. I wake up trembling often.

I pray you continue to heal and be restored.

Bless you! 🙏❤️

I recommend watching 'The Anxiety Guy' videos on Youtube. It has helped considerably with my anxiety while tapering

 

Hi Twindubs,

Yes, I have watched Anxiety Guy a few times.

Thank you for the reminder. I’m going to take a look again.

Bless you with continued healing. ❤️🙏

Hi jordanjack, just wanted to let you know that I'm doing the trembling thing now too.  Got thrown back into acute a few days ago.  Yesterday was the worst after 1 hour of sleep the night before.  My muscles just feel so weak!  It's so hard to live this way.  I hope you start to turn a corner soon, maybe with some changes to your taper. 

Hi Sage,

I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry you have had a setback.  Please know that I am thinking about you and sending you prayers.  I pray everyday day for everyone dealing with these poisons.

Hugs,

Diane

 

Hi Sage,

I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry you have had a setback.  Please know that I am thinking about you and sending you prayers.  I pray everyday day for everyone dealing with these poisons.

Hugs,

Diane

 

Thank you so much Diane!  That's really touching to me.  Prayers are the best thing anyone can do, honestly. 

Hi Sage,

I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry you have had a setback.  Please know that I am thinking about you and sending you prayers.  I pray everyday day for everyone dealing with these poisons.

Hugs,

Diane

 

Thank you so much Diane!  That's really touching to me.  Prayers are the best thing anyone can do, honestly.

 

Sage you are more then welcome.  Yes prayer is what will get us through and wonderful buddies.

Hugs❤

Hi jordanjack, just wanted to let you know that I'm doing the trembling thing now too.  Got thrown back into acute a few days ago.  Yesterday was the worst after 1 hour of sleep the night before.  My muscles just feel so weak!  It's so hard to live this way.  I hope you start to turn a corner soon, maybe with some changes to your taper.

 

Hi Sage,

I’m so sorry that you are having the trembling and anxiety. I had a bad case of it at 3am.

My whole body just trembling in the bed. I had to get up and walk and pray.  I think I’ve been under so my stress with work and trying to deal with the burning skin issues, and heightened anxiety and now depression. I’ve never experienced anything like this.

I tried going back on my dry pills yesterday instead of using compound dosage from the pharmacy and I think I had a bad reaction so I’m gonna stick with the compounding. The scales and cutting are too stressful for me as well.

I pray you feel relief soon.  It’s so very hard, my friends don’t understand and think it’s all in my head.

It’s so hard to explain what we are dealing with. I’m so grateful that we can support each other here.

One day we will be healed and God will make all things new. I pray for mercy and healing daily.

Bless you! 💙🙏

Hi jordanjack, just wanted to let you know that I'm doing the trembling thing now too.  Got thrown back into acute a few days ago.  Yesterday was the worst after 1 hour of sleep the night before.  My muscles just feel so weak!  It's so hard to live this way.  I hope you start to turn a corner soon, maybe with some changes to your taper.

 

Hi Sage,

I’m so sorry that you are having the trembling and anxiety. I had a bad case of it at 3am.

My whole body just trembling in the bed. I had to get up and walk and pray.  I think I’ve been under so my stress with work and trying to deal with the burning skin issues, and heightened anxiety and now depression. I’ve never experienced anything like this.

I tried going back on my dry pills yesterday instead of using compound dosage from the pharmacy and I think I had a bad reaction so I’m gonna stick with the compounding. The scales and cutting are too stressful for me as well.

I pray you feel relief soon.  It’s so very hard, my friends don’t understand and think it’s all in my head.

It’s so hard to explain what we are dealing with. I’m so grateful that we can support each other here.

One day we will be healed and God will make all things new. I pray for mercy and healing daily.

Bless you! 💙🙏

 

That 3 AM anxiety is the WORST.  I fear it more than almost anything else.  So sorry you're going through that! 

 

Nope, nobody understands this.

 

I think about God making all things new every single day.  I'm so done with this.  Bless you too