Just about there, out of hell :)

Good morning/evening and or whenever you see this. I don't know if this site allows for your personal name, I haven't experienced the full mechanism of this site so I'll leave such as blank. I'll give you the highlights of my journey as I know whenever I was looking for success stories to keep me going, I didn't want to read through an entire book to find clips of importance (no disrespect to those brave souls who put their hearts into their success stories). I just know for me... Reading and regular tasks was very difficult. I will following my highlights in point form, discuss my journey if you feel the need to read on. If not I hope my points serve you with the info you need. If clarification is needed, please I'm here to help. I also talk alot, grammar isn't well... I tend to carry run on sentences which I'm working on so please work with me.

Journey/points:

 

1) Benzo type/name: Ativan/Lorazepam 2mg

2) Duration of usage: 8 years total

3) Kindled: monthly for 7 years. (I will explain in my section titled respectfully "Kindled" if you'd like to scroll down).

4) duration of suffering: 12 months

5) Symptoms total: 126 (I will also leave my list of symptoms if said site allows me to post this so long, if not just ask in the comments giving me the opportunity to gain an extra field of dialogue)

6)Effects/Consequences of usage: kindled, adverse reactions, Tolerance and tolerance withdrawal, paradoxical effects and no longer responsive to medications of any type.

7) recovered: 89% I'd say. (I'll explain in my explained section)

most effected: I'd say it's more so my CNS/PNS effected the most, haven't measured Gaba neurotransmitter levels so I can't say to what degree I was effected. My apologies.

9) medical aid: as followed and listed

 

1) Rehab - poor response/outcome. Seizures consequence

2) Family doctor/ER - useless, one positive was testing. Each symptom was recorded/medically documented and tested. Debt is the consequence

3)Puppy, many nights of fear and crying. My puppies Saydee and Hazel were my salvation.

4) research/education, with education... The unknown becomes a little less fearful

5) Kratom. This was is controversial I'm well aware. For me and I can only speak for me, I'd never medical imply to use without knowing the risks vs rewards along side medical supervision if possible, but for me it helped.

 

10) Community - Facebook was my starting and longest relations however navigating is very harsh and Rocky. Facebook groups have become miserable and no one is allowed to say anything it seems. If you ask a question, instead of a answer which could help you, you end up with a bunch of negative experiences making you feel much worse and gives you no benefit. Trying to post anything positive results in two subsets of responses. Either you will be shot down by negativity trying to over come your positive. Or two you end up with parasites who will actively pick apart your body of text to find a opening to fight you with. Misery loves company I guess. But for symptoms help... Someone will also be there to calm you down

 

                          - Benzo buddies was decent, brutally honest the success stories hold the most value. There's an uneven aspect to this site. You can ask a question and have 600 views yet only 3 replies which is incredibly discouraging. But when you get a true response from someone who's experienced their comments hold more value then Facebook.

                          - YouTube videos. Channels like Benzo brains was my biggest help in understanding what was going on and how to properly deal. I think I used her channel most of all. Even bought her book:)

 

11) Taper plan/Cold Turkey: This is another field I'll explain below respectively titled: "Taper/Cold Turkey" just like "Kindled" and "Symptoms" if I have enough space.

12) Distraction: Hobbies and work. I'm a mechanic, roofer and on days off I work at a tattoo shop. I left my tattoo station because I didn't want to harm another person while being in a rough condition. Exercise if possible, dog walking, videos games if possible and many days and night laying in a dark room.

 

13) Diet: Diet should of been the top however the way I wrote this, I failed in pre planing this in simply free hand typing this in hopes it'll work in place just know that diet is easily the best tool I've develop for change and improvement. I will leave a subsection of my diet as well. Whatever helps you

 

Now that all of that is out of the way. Let's get started. I'd like to start with a important source, a documented everyone should have on hand. It's our proof... Easily the most difficult aspects of this suffering is no one wants to understand especially the medical community, owning up to failure causing harm leaves medical staff unable to look at you as a person and family and friends find it easier to turn you away if theres no literature or documentation which is FDA approved, it's easier to label you crazy and turn you away. Trust me I get it.

Well that ends Here's. On Sept 23rd/2020 the FDA released another black box warning in a documented statement that every single one of you needs to print out and highlight important sections so you have proof that you aren't crazy. We must look out for one another and it starts with sharing education.

Now I will leave a link. It traces back to a YouTube video involving a channel I listed above. She has the official document link in her discription called "FDA STATEMENT" you can't miss it. I'm sending you to her video in case your sense are messed up and reading isn't a option right now. She will read through the document. It's not perfect but it's a start.

 

 

Subsections:

(I don't believe I'll have the space for symptoms catagory however if you scan through my posts, I have a post called "Symptoms so far, this is ridiculous". Those are my symptoms. I think that has only 122 or 23,just leave a comment asking for the full list and I'll redo it. Everything is pre set in my note pads and up to date.)

 

Kindling: I wrote that I'd been on Benzos for 8 years, Kindled for 7, I believe I started my kindling journey after a year of being on Ativan. After my body had gotten use to the drug and Tolerance Withdrawal kicked in. After a year the drug had done nothing for me no matter the dosage increase and weird symptoms started cropping up. I also put "Monthly" into proper placement. I was given Ativan to take as needed, only 15 tablets which moves down to 10 monthly. Many believe "As needed" isn't as bad as regular usage however, as needed allows for Kindling to develop faster in my experience. Because your body can't tell the difference between when your stopping for good and or long periods between dosage, either way you will go into a status of withdrawal which mostly starts off slow enough for you not to realize the symptoms however they rack up and effect your CNS/PNS systems the longer this goes on. I was given 15 tablets followed by 10 which I had no idea about benzo harm so I didn't mind the decrease. I was running out midway or close to throughout every month leaving me in a terrible placement of having to wait until the next month which after a while, Kindling has the perfect breeding ground for effect to set in. I noticed this due to unexplained symptoms racking up. Took until last year to figure out why.

 

Recovered: I listed I was 89% recovered, how then can I make this success story?. Easily put, I feel maybe 5 symptoms now... I feel worlds apart better where as I barely notice that a year ago I was in a horrific status. With each 1% added onto your recovery gauge, you really feel the difference or at least in my case. Others may need 2,5,10,15% added points to feel a benefit in improved health.

 

Rehab:everyone's experiences will range however due to its broken and improper model used in these programs, I feel comfortable saying that vast majorty of folks are set up for failure in these programs. Rehab deals in addiction, a slight byproduct does deal in dependency as well as they both swim in the pond. dependency however and all together is a different ball game especially when it comes to mind altering agents such as SSRI's, Antipsychotics and Benzodiazepines as the main sources of mind altering substances. Completely different level of suffering and a completely different model needs to be put in place.

Addiction is based around a negative behaviour/pattern of abuse regardless of the consequences.

 

Dependency is the bodies natural response to change, has to change to survive completely disregarding natural homeostasis. Something within the body has been exposed to any number of chemicals to which now the body depends on that source of income inorder to function normally. In this case it happens to be a substance altering neurotransmitters.

My rehab experience was terrible. I was decreased in dosage far to quickly, down to half my dosage in two weeks times followed by being stripped of my benzo within 3 weeks. Leading to multiple seizures.

 

Taper plan/Cold Turkey. My Taper plan consisted of water titration and micro managing my dosage however I wasn't feeling better in fact I was experiencing paradoxical effects. So I went Cold turkey (Don't recommend it) after my rehab stay. The whole idea around Tapering is to allow the benzo to slow fade away over months to a year to where the neurotransmitters (GabaA, Glutamate) don't notice. Think of it like this job site in construction. Your neurotransmitters act as a job site. This job site hired new employees (Benzo bullies I'll call them) to which at first did an amazing job while being cheap to keep them on. Too good to the point where older employees where let go for budget cut reasons. After a while the entire site was being ran by benzo bullies till one day they all started acting in poor performance and eventually leading to loss of investments, damages, accidents and became a risk to keep. The way your body needs to handle this is to start adding back those older employees over time while slowly getting rid of the benzo bullies to avoid any unseen issues in order to keep the job site running smoothly. Until you have enough employees and no longer need to fear any complications and fallouts from the be zk bullies. This is why taper is so important it just gives you a added sense of security. However I understand not everyone response the same way and for many of us, Cold turkey may be our only option sadly. Just know that C/T can be done, you are not the exception to recovery.

 

Diet: This will be my last subset entry. Many may disagree with my diet choice, just know it's working. I don't need to hear "For now" I'll make improvements if time comes.i was vegan prior to using benzos and while going through benzo issues. It makes sense why I got hit so hard, vegan diets typically lack nutritional indexes in fact based off my 22 years of living on one I'd say it's easily top 3 in nutrional content which is why 82% end up having to include meat products again. Supplements are a short term solution however if you plan on going long term with veganism, know that you will be putting your health in a greater exposure to fail. People have a rough time understanding that your body goes through seasons, your body changes and requirements in terms of proper nutrition also changes there for so must you. You can get mad if you want, but ex vegans growing bigger and bigger in numbers happens for a reason. The biggest reason is vegan marketing, we were told this is better for the animals which is hard to deny, but the second is veganism is the healthiest diet which we could trade words all day. This simply isn't true and how could it due to lack of nutritional availability?supplements aren't a good substitute because each individual is different in the way they break down those nutritional content, supplements are harder to break down... Food will always be the better option due to bioavailability rates and exchange. Anyone who cares for their health will tell you it's only partly about what you eat, it's always more so what your able to absorb. But this isn't a section meant to target vegans, again this is a personalized season. To suggest veganism doesn't have a dietary place would be a failure on my part of course it does... Again in season. Anyone telling you that any diet is a long term permanent fix especially toxic ones on YouTube where their platforms reach millions and especially doctors who are bias and dogmatic about their dietary views/perspectives are doing you the greatest disservice. Listen to your body it will tell you when something is off, never accept a pill as your first line of defence, take medical professional advice with a grain of salt unless an emergency to which you kinda have no choice to trust they have your best interest in mind, educate educate educate, challenge perspectives, include perspectives, ingrain perspectives, develop and grow through education and decide for yourself when it's time after collecting the facts retaining to you which yes take investigatation however you are the greatest investment you could ever make.

Anyways lol I lost my place, I'm currently now doing the "Carnivore diet". Health conditions I never dreamed of clearing up is clearing up. Again this isn't to bash a diet or hold favouritism over the next, everyone has a dietary change kn their future or present... Figure out yours. You could very well need a vegan/Plant based diet right now to help your body gain the missing nutrional content you've been lacking. Diet is such a huge step towards recovery I hope you all give it a shot.

 

Subsection is complete:

 

Backstory: I'm a 30 year old male, ex vegan who's had his share of health conditions leading to depression, anxiety and lack of sleep. I figured I'd give medicine a shot, I went to my GP which no Family doctor should be allowed to recommend Benzodiazepines or mind altering medicaton without first having you go through some kind of therapeutic evaluation and or testing outside of a therapist which would highlight better survivability such as having an emergency like seizures which needs a fast acting solution such as a benzos. Unfortunately we have doctors who are encouraged to hand you pills like candy. I liked being free of worry. I found myself more productive. I come from a bad background of cancer so I know what it's like to be broken down, unlike cancer however is no one understands you whenever going through something like benzo harm. This is all I have for a backstory... If you'd like me to add any other pieces of information just ask.

 

Lastly, Recovery does and will happen:

I like to think that my benzo journey was short yes, but I was thrown through the ringer with the worst cases. Recovery isn't a "Maybe" situation it's a conclusion, you aren't the exception regardless of how bad you believe you are and trust me we all have moment where we believe we will never heal, we are too broke and damaged. No your just in the heat of things right now... Your future holds greater experiences, sensations and feelings for you. You aren't damaged... I wish we could move away from that saying, your GabaA and Glutamate receptors are unbalanced chemically and your CNS/PNS is shocked, all and all and in the grand scheme of things you have been injured... There's a difference between damaged and injured. You will bounce back. Slowly but surely. The reason a person can have so many damage symptoms is yes, GabaA neurotransmitter pathways and channels do make their way through damn near every single part of the body, but another reason I've seen barely referenced is your CNS/PNS which is homebase to every single system within your being including The vestibular system

Neurological system

Musculatory system

integumentary system, skeletal system, lymphatic system, respiratory system, digestive system, nervous system, endocrine system, cardiovascular system, urinary system, and reproductive systems... Not saying they will all be hit that's kinda unlikely, however each of these systems comes with a range of symptoms of their own. The CNS/PNS alone can't be fixed after damages we simply have no known mechanisms yet for such a achievement which is weird considering how important it is. But the fact that we recover at all should show you this isn't real damage although you certainly feel like it. It's just that... A season, you will make it to better days.

 

Told you I talk alot I kinda enjoy it now. Apologies about my grammar in a work in progress. If you need any further information just leave a comment and I will reply. I left out personal bits I didn't think you'd mind I just wanted to focus on the heavy parts as I felt they'd best serve you. We're in this together so ask away 😁

 

Much love everyone and keep fighting, you are worth every millisecond of fight and recovery is yours so take it. Scream if you need to, get frustrated, cry, be sad, be happy when possible... You do what you need to in order to hang on knowing that it racks up towards something positive.

 

(Also that symptom list again is in my previous posts labeled "Symptoms so far, this is ridiculous".)

 

Be safe everyone and I'll see you on the other side.

Hey I liked your story I’m trying to taper off Lorazepam for over a year went to a

Detox center got switched to Librium there pulled me off it in about 6

Days came home started to feel worse got insomnia had to go

Back on the drug I’m on my 3rd doctor now trying to taper me and it’s a nightmare he’s doing it real slow crossing me over to Diazepam but it’s real torture been working with him 6 months I really can’t deal with this drug is the worst thing I ever

Had to go through in my life i can’t even explain everything here what I’ve been through in the last year and a half

 

 

 

Well said.

 

Thank you for your success story.  I need to keep hearing that healing will happen for all of us. 

keep truckin’

Thank you, this info is very helpful..

List symptoms please :-)

Wonderwoman28

You got it. List coming your way.

 

Keep in mind these symptoms where hard to describe, I went into debt havu g each and every one looked into give or take maybe 7-9,possibly 10.

 

1 - Loss of hair (regrew)/ hair texture changes like cotton candy texture hair and thinning

 

2 - short term memory issue, I remember there was a entire week where I couldn't Remeber my own age for the life of me

 

3 - unexplained Ear infections

 

4- Skin issues, pimples, flushing easily and at random moments for no reason, rashes, skin looks older look and pimples

 

5 - Benzo flu w/ nausea

 

6 - Tinnitus and visual disturbances like hearing my name when no one called me

 

7 - Jerking in sleep and random neck tics

 

8 - Blood pressure issues both decreased and increased

 

9 - Rapid heart beat, heart palpitations lasting days to sometimes weeks, chest pressure like a band was squeezing my chest. I still remember the pain I felt like I was on the edge of heart attack this lasted for a good 15 days, I thought I seriously had the MS hug. This was back when I thought I had MS

 

10 - Body Temperature imbalances and irregularities

 

11 - Exteme sweating no matter what I did.

 

12 - Convulsion and two seizures

 

13 - Chills and cold sweats

 

14 - Chemical sensativity to damn near everything for a while including my normal medications

 

15 - Food sensativities

 

16 - Dental illness, loss of teeth

 

17 - afraid to drive

 

18 - afraid to be looked at, keep in mind I never had social anxiety issues before I hit tolerance.

 

19 - random tremors/shaking for no reason

 

20 - either difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep or fear to go to sleep. Again never had insomnia issues until tolerance.

 

21 - Drowsiness like I took a antihistamine or something just out of the blue

 

22 - extreme dry mouth and metal taste

 

23 - nightmares and paralysis and this old woman looking at me in the corner and I couldn't move

 

24 - Paradoxical effects and adverse effects to the Ativan, I'd take a dosage when suppose to when tapering and in 5-10 minutes I'd have these sensations of being out of body or extremely lightweight with my head feeling like it was too heavy, weighed down

 

25 - Depression. At the worst I'd lock myself in my bedroom for weeks

 

26 - suicidal ideology and this over whelming urge to harm myself which still freaks me out. I can't explain how it felt it really scared me.

 

27 - over whelming fear of leaving the house (there's a word for this I can't think of it as I write this list)

 

28 - social anxiety (never had it before tolerance)

 

29 - dimmed/heightened emotional status

 

30 - increased anger and easily frustrated

 

31 - Apathy (feeling no emtions, a shell of who I was void of characteristics and personality trades

 

32 - feelings of doom/dread

 

33 - increase in underlying conditions

 

34 - Dizzy/lightheadedness/heavy headed, if I'm in a car I'd get these weird and uncomfortable sensations of feeling wobbly and like I was spin and leaning over while the car was moving (I'm in the passenger seat I'd never endanger another person)

 

35 - Cognitive impairment and fog, forming thoughts and ideas felt like I had a mental block. Like getting to a conclusive thought was like moving in extremely thick liquid...the further I went the thicker my mentality got

 

36 - difficulty speaking, pronouncing words, difficultly finding the right word, constructing sentences and executing sentences

 

37 - Inability to form thoughts or visualize what would be a good word for this conversation. I use to be cleaver and sharp

 

38 - Heightened anxiety/

Anxiety conditions I've never had such as health anxiety, OCDP, Catastrophizing,overthinking intrusive thoughts and chemical embalanced/induced anxiety where cooking could send me into a alerming state of being

 

39 - Feeling wobbly and off balance especially wheil lying down

 

40 - sensation of being drunk when I wasn't

 

41 - Sensation of extreme weakness in over all body, wobbly legs, couldn't lift arms

 

42 - Sensation of weakness not able to leave my bed

 

43 - Akathisia three times.

 

44 - Aches and pains in weird places for no reason

 

45 - Tightness in head

 

46 - Depersonalization/derealizarion

 

47 - Adrenaline rushes

 

48 - Sensation of extremely weighed down or the opposite of feeling floaty

 

49 - Sensation of falling within my mind, and when lying down I felt like there was no bed beneath me like was just sinking

 

50 - Sensation of room expanding and Hallways gaining length

 

51 - sensations of visual environment staying still while I move/walk as if my visual environment did not move to meet my perception

 

52 - Hellucinations such as seen shadow people, tasting what I haven't had in years and food not tasting the same

 

53 - Sensation of brain feeling heavy/weighed down

 

54 - Blurred vision

 

55- Light sensitivity, got so bad all I could do for 5 months was sit in a dark room with a blue towel over my eyes

 

56 - Seeing yellow or blue spots

 

57- Dim vision

 

58 - Visual snow

 

59 - Flickering vision

 

60 - Visual auras

 

61 - sensation of Eyes feeling weird

 

62 - Seeing flashing lights when eyes closed with patterns and sensations of vertigo when eyes are closed

 

63 -Vivid vision

 

64 - Uncontrollable visual focus like I'd be locked onto a object at a frightening degree of focus with zoom inhanced

 

65 - Sensation of extreme dryness in skin or the opisite, like my skin is extremely flaky or sand like in texture

 

66 - Sensation of skin being pulled apart or crawling

 

67 - Face dropping especially my eye

 

68 - Sensation of burning in cheeks, skin around eyes and burnt lips or the oppisite of numbness in my cheeks and lips but normally on my left side but it could switch sides

 

69 - Sensation of brain moving

 

70 - Sensation of a object in throat

 

71 - Sensation of choking

 

72 - Air Hunger especially when laying down

 

73 - Tics in neck or involuntary movements

 

74 - Extreme chest pain and squeezing

 

75 - Sensation of numbness in left arm and pecs

 

76 - Fingertip pain and numbness

 

77 - sensation of palms feeling like sandpaper

 

78 - inner shakiness in hands, arm and neck without producing shaking exteriorly

 

79 - Sensation of extreme tightness in left arm (Tri/Bicep) and wrists

 

80 - Sensation of electric shocks in wrists, elbows and muscles

 

81 - Weird to painful nerve pain

 

82 - Abdominal pains/sensations not on skin but inside include:

83 - 1) pinching in intestinal                      track that moves

84 - 2) swelling and inflammation

85 - 3) burning sensations to verious degrees, from sensations of a sun burn to being branded in areas such as stomach, liver, kidneys and lower abdominal in pubic hair area

86 - 4) extreme iching inside, lower abdominal and penis

87 - 5) back pain I never had before

88 - 6) Pelvic pain

89 - 7) stabbing sensations all over abdomin

90 - electric shocks in intestinal track.

91 - 9) swollen abdominal section

 

92 - sensation of muscle in leg being pushed down

 

93 - weird rash in legs

 

94 - pain in left foot primary left food but can alternate side to side like most symptoms

 

95) - weakness in left food that would switch sides

 

96) - nail cracking, splitting

 

97) - spider vains in legs

 

98) - sensations of burning, numbness in both feet especially at night

 

99) - sensitivity to heat, I'll get dizzy or feel pins and needles on skin

 

100) sensation of super smooth, almost uncomfortably smooth skin like my poors, oils and any resistance skin on the face should have, completely gone with mild itching or it could go the other way where my skin feels more pounced and rough, like sand

 

101) Eye twitches and burning on chin

 

102) intestinal sandpaper. This one is difficult to explain but it feels like my intestines are sandpaper, very rough and sore.

 

 

103) whenever I get nervous, sometimes excited my body feels extremely weak, my limbs feel like jelly and wobbly, my neck shakes and shivers, my hands shake. This is completely different then what you'd experience in a panic or anxiety attack. I could never explain fully what this feels like

 

104) when I wake up in the morning, my sight needs time to adjust like most people but I see eventhing in micro squares and my eyes feel really weird

 

105) muscles difference, I couldn't stop losing muscle. Theres a word for this. But I eventually got it all back, like the hair loss it took a minute but I got it back and then some.

 

106) Swelling in all areas of the body. Randomly for no reason

 

107) my palms would feel like there was sawdust and extremely dry

 

108) pelvic pain, penile burning, itching and stinging

 

109) sometimes I will think about a symptom I experienced and it'll come back around for a few minutes to a few hours

 

110) Electric painful zaps in intestinal track. (very scary symptom)

 

111) Air Hunger. I'd get air Hunger with arm tightness and numbness primarily my left arm.

 

112) Burning in feet, bottom of feet feel on fire but the worst is my big toe on my left, the middle section feels like it's burnt, little sensation like numbness. Like if you touched a stove, that after effect

 

113) Now my soles of my feet burn, my fingers feel tingling and like they've been pressed against glass... There's a certain rash type of feeling to them but very dull

 

114) scared to be home alone, I'd feel this sense of doom whenever someone was over and said "Alright man I'm heading out", I'd often start crying because my emotional response was so over the top

 

115) breast pain, aronnd the nipple

 

116) Difficulty losing Adrenaline. If I have a panic attack I shake uncontrollably and it takes hours to come back to a normal state even with a lorazepam in my system I still extend the physical symptoms of extreme panic

 

117) Weird and scary vibration/inner movement/shakey and weak sensation in my neck primarily at the back

 

118) feeling like I'm On the edge of a horrible possible experience. Example would be my eyes,if I'm having visual disturbances I also have this secondary sensation and effect like I'm just on the edge of blindness.

 

119) weird sharp feelings. Example, I had this sharp pain like I was stratched by a cat on my lower abdomin near my pubic hair. But there's no marks or visual marks.

 

120) extreme burning and itchy, lower abdomin by pubic area and tip of my penis head but the burning and itchy felt like I was coming from within, not on the skin. All tests came back clear

 

121) burning and painful sensations that moves around inside my body from my liver, kidneys to intestinal track. One day it'll effect my liver and the next it'll effect my stomach area and the next some other organ.

 

122) left leg and arm scary sensation. My upper arm (Bicept area) and upper left leg felt like they were on the edge of giving up. Felt tight sure, but more so loose and weak. My hand and ankle on the left side also felt this. It would build up gradually and there seems to be a cap that it wouldn't go past. At the same time I felt very lightheaded like I was leaning which ever way my head was pointed towards.

There's so this pressure in my head making me feel like I was going to pas out.

 

123) Liver heat: the best way I could explain this sensation is my liver felt like constant friction, or a sun burn was being applied to my liver. Scary stuff but all tests came back clean.

 

124) sharp and burning pain in my lacrimal car uncle (small pink part of eye in the corner, had to look up the name) very sharp pain I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It was bad

 

125) grainy, hazzy and wobbly visual disturbances especially at night

 

126)feeling like my brain is being pulled in one direction.very scary sensation

Arm and hand feel like they are floating in place.

 

127) multiple dreams in a night. A brief period throughout this experience was having multiple dreams a night, six and beyond in most cases which freaked me out heavily... I haven't even heard of anyone having multiple dreams. I heard about nightmares but never multiple dreams.

 

128) My body felt like it was leaning to one side, primarily my left. And my mind also made me feel like I was falling in that direction as well.

 

Just started this journey, but this was very informative. I do have some questions. First this is what i take 3 1mg xanex a day, but might take one in morning but the rest at bedtime plus ambien 10mg bedtime  This has been going on for over 10 years, I don't sleep good at all. And sometimes I'll just a 1/2 in morning cuz they make me sleepy. I was wondering if i just break them in half for a few weeks and then quarters after that.  I did last year make 90 pill for a month last 3 months. Idk what im doing... Im just so tired of this. Not sure about the liquid yet. And do have anxiety bad. Thanks for the help

Just started this journey, but this was very informative. I do have some questions. First this is what i take 3 1mg xanex a day, but might take one in morning but the rest at bedtime plus ambien 10mg bedtime  This has been going on for over 10 years, I don't sleep good at all. And sometimes I'll just a 1/2 in morning cuz they make me sleepy. I was wondering if i just break them in half for a few weeks and then quarters after that.  I did last year make 90 pill for a month last 3 months. Idk what im doing... Im just so tired of this. Not sure about the liquid yet. And do have anxiety bad. Thanks for the help

 

It would be a good idea to ask your questions on this board so other members can help you figure out a taper plan. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=56.0

Well done budd I am happy to read your success story you made it! Can I ask you how long time took for you to get back your normality when you was totally off ? Tnx

Thanks so much for your extremely well documented benzo withdrawal and recovery story.  This renews my faith that I will eventually heal from all the strange symptoms I have experienced and am experiencing.

 

Best of luck to you...you certainly deserve all good things going forward!!!

 

GG

Seriously how are these drugs still allowed to be prescribed?

I hear you, Deanna, and I have asked myself.....and my doctor......the same question over and over again!

 

My doctor is Chinese and also has a PhD in neuroscience.  He has apologized to me and said he honestly was not aware of the dangers of benzos being taken for more than a few weeks.  I asked him if benzos were prescribed in his home country of China.  He replied, No.  So, at least, he is apologetic and will see me anytime that I want to be seen.

 

Let’s kick this bwd in the butt and get healed sooner than later!!!!

 

GG

Glad you’re doing well. Thanks for the success story.

Thanks so much for your extremely well documented benzo withdrawal and recovery story.  This renews my faith that I will eventually heal from all the strange symptoms I have experienced and am experiencing.

 

Best of luck to you...you certainly deserve all good things going forward!!!

 

GG

2nd that. Thanks for this post. Some stuff was even fun to read

"The benzo bullies part at the building site."

 

Glad youve made it through all this mate.

Well done.

 

Was recently going through scary heart symptoms like longer pauzes between heart beats and oxygen being pulled out me.

I guess they are skipped beats with gapsing for air really shortly? Or heart block donno

Eitherway will see if i get them again soon with the next cut.

Wish me luck ^^ beating the pills from hell haha