Very Glad I Reinstated to Taper

Hi, I don't post here a lot.  But I wanted to provide a different view point that may help others.  I was put on benzos a year ago for the flu and CT (not knowing) after only 3 month use.  I suffered catastrophic Akathesia, hair loss, insomnia, severe pain, food/chemical sensitivities brain zaps, burning skin, buzzing and adrenaline rushes, muscle tension, tinnitus....and so much more.  I was hospitalized after a short few weeks after losing about 30 pounds.  The hospital was actually really benzo wise and I was reinstated on 20 mg of Diazapam.  I'm doing a slower version of the Ashton manual protocol.  I have symptoms but I'm working, going to my kids' events, participating in life. I have also completely changed my diet.  I know that it is a huge gamble to reinstate and it doesn't always work for people.  It's also annoying to taper meds for several years.  It's crazy that it will take me two years total to complete a taper after only 3 month use.  SO WILD!  But I learned slow and steady wins the race.    I also believe people in CT heal.  I believe that my CT put me in a huge glutamate storm and it was so hard for my body, mind and receptors to heal.  As I taper down, I'm healing and I'm not in a complete storm of glutamate.  I'm happy to report that I'm over halfway done with my taper.  I am actually writing this during my lunchbreak at work.  During CT, I was completely bedbound and things did not looking good for me.  I just wanted to share a different perspective.  Blessing to everyone!  TG   

I think that's valuable perspective.  I know reinstating is risky, but for many it has saved them from ruining their health and lives.  I'm so glad you're doing well in your taper!  I also did a slow 2 year taper and it truly saved me.  I was able to stable and functional throughout most of it except for a few hiccups where I tapered too fast. 

SH,  I agree and thanks for your validation.  Don't get me wrong...it's still hard BUT NOTHING LIKE CT.  I'm so glad you are healing after a long taper.  Blessings. 

How high was your original Xanax prescription?

Also, how long were you off of it before you reinstated?

Hi Summerfun,  I had complications from the flu and the dr. prescribed me Alprazolam (xanax) to help with pain and sleep.  I had no idea about this drug.  I took it as prescribed for about 2 1/2-3 months time.  I took about .25, then I went up to .5.  The last three weeks I was taking .75 x every day.  Then I quit because my lungs healed from the flu.  I would say I was in CT for about 6-7 weeks.  I lost so much weight, I was hospitalized and the doctors were actually very benzo wise and said that this drug needs to be tapered properly.  I found a dr. that supports me with my taper at my pace.  How are you doing?  blessings 

I was a short term use her as well. I am off for months but having terrible symptoms due to the cold turkey. The taper was too fast. I’ve lost almost the same amount of weight. I want to reinstate but the doctors here do not know anything about this. They gave me 1 mg of Valium to start my reinstatement. I also was on .25 of lorazepam. I’m not sure what to do. I am not in a good state. But hearing your reinstatement gives me some hope. Even though I was off of it for four months.

SH,  I agree and thanks for your validation.  Don't get me wrong...it's still hard BUT NOTHING LIKE CT.  I'm so glad you are healing after a long taper.  Blessings.

 

You're so right!  I've done both, too.  CT was killer.  The taper was excruciatingly long, but it really wasn't too bad. 

Sage,How long were you off before you reinstated?

Sage,How long were you off before you reinstated?

 

I'm not sure you could even call it a reinstatement.  I think it was a little over three years since I had CTd.

You were off for a couple of years before you reinstated?

You were off for a couple of years before you reinstated?

 

Not sure if this was directed at me, but if it was - I was off for 3 years before I reinstated.  It actually wasn't even a choice I made.  I was hospitalized for depression and I had to take pills.

So is it possible, since it helped you, that reinstating right now and stabilizing and then doing a slow taper down the road would possibly be OK?

A month ago it took one Lexapro and it threw me over the edge. I had a lot of bad symptoms. I think I might be still suffering from it. That makes me nervous to try the reinstatement. But they are different medication’s. Thoughts?

Summerfun,  Yes, Lexapro and Benzos are in a different class of drugs.  I'm not surprised you had a reaction.  Many people withdrawing from benzos get sensitive to many things including vitamins.  I had a horrible reaction to a vitamin.  Yes. I was about 2 months out with no signs of getting better.  I felt like I was getting tremendously worse.  I was on .75 xanax which is about equivalent to 15-20 mg of Diazapam.  I probably could have started at 15 mg instead of 20 mg.  My sister and I called 50 doctors and one called me back and said he would help me.  I'm so very sorry this happened to you. TG 

I can’t handle this. I need to reinstate but scared.  But scared not to.  They want me on 1mg of Valium. Please help

A month ago it took one Lexapro and it threw me over the edge. I had a lot of bad symptoms. I think I might be still suffering from it. That makes me nervous to try the reinstatement. But they are different medication’s. Thoughts?

 

Yeah, Lexapro is very different from a benzo.  I can't take any SSRI antidepressant without wigging out. 

 

I think the question is, how were the benzos affecting you before you tried to quit them?  Where you experiencing any tolerance or interdose WD?  If so, you could have a harder time. That doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible, though.  Going on a different, longer acting benzo might help in that case.  But no guarantees.

I can’t handle this. I need to reinstate but scared.  But scared not to.  They want me on 1mg of Valium. Please help

 

Are you still on the .113 of lorazepam?  I don't see how 1 mg of valium is going to help very much.  But maybe it would?

No, I have not been on any benzo for four months. 

As far as how the .25 effected me while on them, it was fine.  I took one a day.

As far as how the .25 effected me while on them, it was fine.  I took one a day.

 

I hope you're able to come to a decision about this that you can be at peace with.  If you're suffering horribly, I can see why you might want to reinstate and try again.

I wish I knew the right thing to do. Others on the board here are saying that would be a big mistake that this is a brain injury in my body doesn’t need more benzo’s, but yet time to heal. The thing is though this is too unbearable and frustrating. I think some people can cope and others can’t.

I believe that benzos do damage brains, but that withdrawal from benzos, if severe, can be even more damaging than staying on a benzo at a regular dose without tolerance or interdose WD.  I think long, slow tapers minimize the damage from WD.  That was my experience. 

 

But then again, healing could be just around the corner for you.  You never know.  And if you reinstate, you'll be setting the clock back a long ways. 

That is my dilemma. Since I did the cold turkey and then a two rapid of taper I believe, as you do, that more damage probably was done. So how do we heal from that? My thought was to go back on and then slowly slowly slowly slowly slowly taper off. But it seems from the consensus on here that is not the case. I guess I’m just confused. I just don’t know what the right thing is to do.

I guess I'm in the minority.  I do recognize the dangers of reinstatement.  But I hate to see people in such utter misery with nothing to help them through it.  If reinstatement works, it gives you a chance to get some relief and at the same time slowly work towards your goal of being benzo free without as much misery as a CT or rapid taper.  For some people, reinstatement cannot work because they were in tolerance or paradoxical or something like that.  But if you were not, there is an opportunity to try again and do it right this time.  I'm sure those who tried and failed at reinstatement would have a completely different opinion.