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Has anyone recovered from extreme muscle weakness/fatigue?


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I am 1 yr free from benzos after 10 yrs on. I am still VERY weak and fatigued and struggling to take care of my 2 yo daughter. I lost 20 lbs during my taper and after my jump. I used to be very athletic.

 

Has anyone seen any improvement with time? I am trying to make gentle exercises in order to have my muscle tone back, but I usually crash after 24-48 h  :-[

 

Thanks!

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During this last withdrawal which was incredibly extreme I could not even walk more than 100 feet at a time without sitting down. My job is very physical even though I am a foreman and it was tough. Everyone was very understanding thankfully. At a year I still could not pick up a 10 lb sledgehammer to show a new guy something. A few swings and I would damn near black out. It was hard because I had to play it off. I really could not explain to anyone how I could go from being the person they knew to a guy who can’t lift a hammer. I had also gone from 180 lbs to 135 or maybe less I forget. I was downright frail. I am in acute antidepressant withdrawal right now as many here know and am still stronger than I was then, lol. I am a railroad foreman and I could not send down a spike. It is a point of pride for us in the industry and we are very boyishly competitive about it. I hated it. I was one of the best and I couldn’t even do one. About 8 weeks ago I was 2 years and 6 or 7 months out from my horrific Xanax withdrawal. I was working with a new crew and none of the guys knew how to do much. Me and another foreman spiked up the entire job in 100 degree heat. I probably drove 10 spikes straight at one point twirling a 10 lb hammer around over my head over and over and I was completely fine. I also started riding bmx bikes again with some old friends because I am a 40 year old child, lol. Anyway it’s been a blast and I can hit the park with them for hours and go just as long as the rest of em. I can run up flights of stairs carrying tools without getting winded when 2 years ago I couldn’t run at all even downhill lol. The point is that this is a symptom that resolves with time. The moderator Pianogirl told me once that she could not ride her bicycle hardly at all at first and now she can ride all she wants. She may pop in here and tell you for herself. Try to be patient. You are doing phenomenal. You said you’ve been scuba diving for work, lol. You’re tougher than the withdrawal has you realizing. You’re gonna beat this. Oh, also I’m 177 lbs now. Only 3 lbs less than when this whole mess started and no longer looking frail.
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I was thinking about your heavy workouts and physically taxing job at sea and thought about how many members say they can't keep up their normal workouts, but find a more mild approach agreeable, I hope you can find middle ground somewhere so you can at least stay healthy if not in prime shape. 

 

Can you take a leave of absence from your more active work at sea or would you lose your place on the team? I hate to see you put added pressure on yourself because stress is one of the biggest contributors to increased symptoms.

 

Something Jack37 said stuck out for me and that was "You’re tougher than the withdrawal has you realizing."  Around here we talk about the lies benzo's tell us, how we'll never get better, that our past mistakes make us unworthy, you name it and if it's negative we think it, this is because of the drug.  We have a thread where members contribute to the lies the drug is telling them.  I agree with Jack, you're tougher than you realize.  :thumbsup:  Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted 

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During this last withdrawal which was incredibly extreme I could not even walk more than 100 feet at a time without sitting down. My job is very physical even though I am a foreman and it was tough. Everyone was very understanding thankfully. At a year I still could not pick up a 10 lb sledgehammer to show a new guy something. A few swings and I would damn near black out. It was hard because I had to play it off. I really could not explain to anyone how I could go from being the person they knew to a guy who can’t lift a hammer. I had also gone from 180 lbs to 135 or maybe less I forget. I was downright frail. I am in acute antidepressant withdrawal right now as many here know and am still stronger than I was then, lol. I am a railroad foreman and I could not send down a spike. It is a point of pride for us in the industry and we are very boyishly competitive about it. I hated it. I was one of the best and I couldn’t even do one. About 8 weeks ago I was 2 years and 6 or 7 months out from my horrific Xanax withdrawal. I was working with a new crew and none of the guys knew how to do much. Me and another foreman spiked up the entire job in 100 degree heat. I probably drove 10 spikes straight at one point twirling a 10 lb hammer around over my head over and over and I was completely fine. I also started riding bmx bikes again with some old friends because I am a 40 year old child, lol. Anyway it’s been a blast and I can hit the park with them for hours and go just as long as the rest of em. I can run up flights of stairs carrying tools without getting winded when 2 years ago I couldn’t run at all even downhill lol. The point is that this is a symptom that resolves with time. The moderator Pianogirl told me once that she could not ride her bicycle hardly at all at first and now she can ride all she wants. She may pop in here and tell you for herself. Try to be patient. You are doing phenomenal. You said you’ve been scuba diving for work, lol. You’re tougher than the withdrawal has you realizing. You’re gonna beat this. Oh, also I’m 177 lbs now. Only 3 lbs less than when this whole mess started and no longer looking frail.

 

 

Wow! Your message is so comforting! I'm glad your physical/work capacity has returned. I really hope mine returns too. My feeling is exactly like yours: I feel unable to perform my activities properly (scuba) after having spent years being recognized as a master. I have accumulated more than 6000 dives, a large part of them below 50 m of depth. Today, after just doing one dive, it takes me several days to recover :( But I have to agree with you: at least I can still dive now! I don't want to be the best anymore, just be able to do the very basics and keep my job. Thank you so much for your support and inspiration.

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I was thinking about your heavy workouts and physically taxing job at sea and thought about how many members say they can't keep up their normal workouts, but find a more mild approach agreeable, I hope you can find middle ground somewhere so you can at least stay healthy if not in prime shape. 

 

Can you take a leave of absence from your more active work at sea or would you lose your place on the team? I hate to see you put added pressure on yourself because stress is one of the biggest contributors to increased symptoms.

 

Something Jack37 said stuck out for me and that was "You’re tougher than the withdrawal has you realizing."  Around here we talk about the lies benzo's tell us, how we'll never get better, that our past mistakes make us unworthy, you name it and if it's negative we think it, this is because of the drug.  We have a thread where members contribute to the lies the drug is telling them.  I agree with Jack, you're tougher than you realize.  :thumbsup:  Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted

 

Hi Pamster

Thank you very much for your message. In fact, I've been trying to find a mild approach in my work and to maintain a less physically exhausting routine. In this sense, the pandemic helped me a lot, as I was able to spend a large part of my taper and at least 1 year after my jump working online. However, now that the world is reopening its doors due to the advance of vaccination, my colleagues and bosses are looking forward to resuming face-to-face activities. I'll follow your advice and try to take a temporary break from my field activities (luckily I wouldn't lose my spot due to my absence). At the end of November I have the first big challenge, because I have to take a class of 12 students to the field, go on a ship, dive and teach for 15 consecutive days... I've already invited other colleagues (professors in the same department) to accompany me and cover me in case I collapse. In fact, the benzos insist on telling me a lot of lies, that I'm fragile, incapable and that everything will go wrong. I will keep fighting it! Thanks!

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Hi there, I hope things are going well. I just wanted to jump in because I've been having those similar symptoms of fatigue and muscle weakness, and my job is physically demanding too but usually I just fight through it. My questions would be for those who have recovered from this symptom, does it stop suddenly or does it gradually return? Also I used to workout and weight lift before I had my withdrawals take that from me, now I can barely do what I used too without having my muscles shake afterward and even during my workouts, not to mention lack of strength and heart pounding from light exercise. Should I just cut the workouts for now and let my body heal (it's been 9 months now  :-\) or should I still workout and do what I can? Will that somehow slow down my healing or will it teach my body to heal faster? My body seems to get over stimulated and I don't know if that's good or bad, it feels bad though. Is it the nerves themselves in my muscles that are damaged and causing these weakness symptoms or is it my GABA receptors that are damaged that somehow cause this weakness. I keep reading that nervous system damage does not heal, and it sure does feel that way, after 9 months wouldn't all the healing that would be possible already have been done? It's not like I'm slowly getting better, why would my body decide to heal after so long instead of when the damage happened? I know probably a lot of these questions don't have answers right now, but these are some of the things that disturb me. I wish everyone here comfort and peace of mind, thanks for any reply.
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Hi there, I hope things are going well. I just wanted to jump in because I've been having those similar symptoms of fatigue and muscle weakness, and my job is physically demanding too but usually I just fight through it. My questions would be for those who have recovered from this symptom, does it stop suddenly or does it gradually return? Also I used to workout and weight lift before I had my withdrawals take that from me, now I can barely do what I used too without having my muscles shake afterward and even during my workouts, not to mention lack of strength and heart pounding from light exercise. Should I just cut the workouts for now and let my body heal (it's been 9 months now  :-\) or should I still workout and do what I can? Will that somehow slow down my healing or will it teach my body to heal faster? My body seems to get over stimulated and I don't know if that's good or bad, it feels bad though. Is it the nerves themselves in my muscles that are damaged and causing these weakness symptoms or is it my GABA receptors that are damaged that somehow cause this weakness. I keep reading that nervous system damage does not heal, and it sure does feel that way, after 9 months wouldn't all the healing that would be possible already have been done? It's not like I'm slowly getting better, why would my body decide to heal after so long instead of when the damage happened? I know probably a lot of these questions don't have answers right now, but these are some of the things that disturb me. I wish everyone here comfort and peace of mind, thanks for any reply.

 

My experience is it gradually returns but there are setbacks along the way where you think it’s gone and then it comes back and then goes away again.

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