Should I reinstate

I can’t do this for too much longer. Please help x

Shay,

 

We've all felt like we can't do this much longer. Last Saturday I thought it was going to go out of my mind I was doing so bad. Reinstating isn't going to help anything you don't even know exactly how that would go that could cause you more harm than good. I understand your desperation! But you just have to hang on. You said you have some supplements coming, hopefully those help you. Not sure if you're getting some for sleep or what. But the insomnia could even go away without the supplements eventually. I'm sure that's that what you want to hear eventually. This is just so hard. I know. we all want it to end right now. But it will end. Like GG told you she's 74 years old and it's getting much better for her it will for you too. You really do not want to reinstate. I know you're just feeling frustrated and that's probably putting it mildly. Warm love and hugs coming your way!

 

LiveLife

 

Shayna we will support you no matter what.  We are here for you.  What are your symptoms right now?

 

 

Severe severe insomnia x

No, Shayna please don't reinstate.  I've felt like you do.  Thought I was going to go insane.  I think I did.  :'(.  I hung in though, and climbed that mountain in bare feet, and now at 31 months I really feel I'm coming out of it. 

 

It worth hanging in for Shayna.  I promise. 

 

Don't look back! 

 

Dee

I know how desperate you're probably feeling.  I've felt it too recently.  That's why I came here again.  To remind me what benzos do to people so I would stay away from them.  It's working  :'(

 

That being said, I support you in whatever decision you make.  Sometimes it just becomes too unbearable.  When that happened to me years ago, I ended up on another benzo.  I hated that it happened.  It was sort of forced on me in the hospital.  But that time I learned to taper very slowly and eventually became stable enough during my taper that I was relatively happy.  It took two years to get off, but I think I stepped off in pretty good shape considering. For what it's worth, my benzo that time was temazepam (Restoril), which I found much more tolerable than the Xanax I had CTd several years earlier.

 

 

I think you know the answer to that. How many meds did you say the doctor threw at you? And how many of them helped?

 

You can do it, I know you can xx

Your right mare x

 

I saw my dr today. She just let me cry. She didnt offer anything. She knows weve been down that road.

No, Shayna please don't reinstate.  I've felt like you do.  Thought I was going to go insane.  I think I did.  :'(.  I hung in though, and climbed that mountain in bare feet, and now at 31 months I really feel I'm coming out of it. 

 

It worth hanging in for Shayna.  I promise. 

 

Don't look back! 

 

Dee

 

Dee Im so glad your feeling better, thats so wonderful to hear 

I know how desperate you're probably feeling.  I've felt it too recently.  That's why I came here again.  To remind me what benzos do to people so I would stay away from them.  It's working  :'(

 

That being said, I support you in whatever decision you make.  Sometimes it just becomes too unbearable.  When that happened to me years ago, I ended up on another benzo.  I hated that it happened.  It was sort of forced on me in the hospital.  But that time I learned to taper very slowly and eventually became stable enough during my taper that I was relatively happy.  It took two years to get off, but I think I stepped off in pretty good shape considering. For what it's worth, my benzo that time was temazepam (Restoril), which I found much more tolerable than the Xanax I had CTd several years earlier.

 

I started on Temazepam, then went to Zop and then down hill fast. I know how far ive come but it makes u feel like you have done the wrong thing when you are so sick x

Shayna, maybe try a different OTC sleep aid?  Keep checking for new script sleeping aids that are less dangerous than the zop. 

Shayna, check out the American Sleep Association.  Maybe they can help you.  Here's the link.

 

https://www.sleepassociation.org/about-asa/

 

A neurologist can treat severe insomnia.

I can’t do this for too much longer. Please help x

 

Please don't do that. I know it's very hard. I have been there too but it will lead to more issues than u already have. Please find will power.

you'll turn a corner at 4 months. just hang in

I know how desperate you're probably feeling.  I've felt it too recently.  That's why I came here again.  To remind me what benzos do to people so I would stay away from them.  It's working  :'(

 

That being said, I support you in whatever decision you make.  Sometimes it just becomes too unbearable.  When that happened to me years ago, I ended up on another benzo.  I hated that it happened.  It was sort of forced on me in the hospital.  But that time I learned to taper very slowly and eventually became stable enough during my taper that I was relatively happy.  It took two years to get off, but I think I stepped off in pretty good shape considering. For what it's worth, my benzo that time was temazepam (Restoril), which I found much more tolerable than the Xanax I had CTd several years earlier.

 

I started on Temazepam, then went to Zop and then down hill fast. I know how far ive come but it makes u feel like you have done the wrong thing when you are so sick x

 

Then that downhill slide is what you have to focus on to keep you strong.  You know it didn't help you for long in the first place, so reinstating might not help much.  Your CNS just needs more time to heal.  It takes so much endurance and strength when it seems like nothing is ever going to change.  But it will change.  I don't know if you ever read CedarTree's story, but she went a very long time with next to no sleep.  But she healed completely.  You will too!

Think the decision has to be yours at the end if the day. I have considered trying something else fir the anxiety if hasn't gone by 3 years, we have both suffered long time so see where you are coming from. My sleep been awful this last weeke, but convinced by hubby drive up see my son so hopefully things have resolved. Must admit did take half zop few nights just keep my sanity with all mental anguish. But could see how easily I could get hooked again, so I wouldn't take  them again, but I would never judge anybody that reinstates. If I could find something to help the anxiety would try it, but seems nothing seems help when  I'ts chemically induced. Whatever you do no one here is going judge you.

I can’t do this for too much longer. Please help x

 

Lovely.  I get where you are at - trust me - I do. Please please DO NOT reinstate.  It would be a road straight to hell.  You have worked so hard.  I know it’s harder than hard what you are going through - but trust me, reinstating is not the answer. You weren’t sleeping at all on Valium towards the end of your Taper - no matter what you took, nothing worked. If you were to reinstate you would have to go onto a much higher dose, it may not even work & could make you worse.  I know you are in sheer hell now, but trust me, going back on it would be levels of hell that not anyone of us wants for you. You can do this Shayna, you can.  Take it one minute at a time.  There is no easy answer fir BWD - I wish I had it for you to make this all go away for you.  But I don’t.  I do know that that you can do this & that you will heal.  Feel what you are feeling & honestly cut your schedule of what you’re doing in half.  This doesn’t make you a weak person for doing less.  BWD is a weird weird beast & the more you do the more it can set you back - do the absolute bare essential of what you have to do & rest your body & mind & beautiful soul - I know sleep isn’t coming for you easily right now  but it will, it will it will it will. Just hang on & breathe - that’s all you gotta do - breathe. Xxz

Think Bess is right, try not to do to much, give your body time to rest, as it appears rushing around all day doesn't seem to be improving your sleep. I'm trying l glutamine at moment, before all the crap with my son it was helping me, think it puts the GABBA  back into balance again. Only thing J've taken doesn't revv me up. Plus a pro biotic someone recommended for insomnia. I have taken odd rescue dose of zop recently due to the immense emotional pressure was under, but can see how easily you can get addicted to it and reliant on it, so I wouldn't personally take it again even though had no problems on it.. Think the Valium was masking many of your withdrawal symptoms maybe easing the insomnia, so bit like opening Pandora's box when you stopped it. No crutch to ease you through any more.

My honest opinion is that reinstating wouldn't help. I think it's going to take time. I'm still stuck and holding my dose which is frustrating but I have health issues so I am holding for a long time. I just feel that once the drugs stop working for us, you can't really go back again. I really hope you get a break soon though. 💜

The last k I ever took was in the middle of the night in a desperate bid to get to sleep after tolerance or interdose wd.  It didn't work. I didn't feel any difference from it.  It was a sign I needed to stop. 

 

If I went back on, I think it would be similarly ineffective without a much larger dose.  Sometimes it's attractive to think reinstating would solve everything, but it wouldnt.  I don't want that.  You don't want that! 

Hi

 

Im sorry you are hurting, IM 18mo off and the physical body tension is almost unbearable at times

 

I often go back and forth about going back on because low dose worked for me and was feeling so much better than I am now

 

BUT,,,,give it more time, I will get to the point, maybe 1 or 2 more years, and if I dont have relief then I will do something, I eat right, exercise, dont do  drugs, and yet my body is tripping

 

My tension, GI and muscles issues have just gotten worse over 18mo, Id like to think that I dont need pills or drugs, but if years go by and I dont feel better them I have to make a choice

 

 

 

here are reviews and people stories at drugs.com,  https://www.drugs.com/comments/diazepam/valium.html

 

As you can see most of these people are long term users, have gone on and off and are having great success staying on these drugs

 

The bottom line is that no body on this planet understands your personal chemistry and what you need to feel better

 

I am NOT advocating any drugs, just stating that some people stay on them with great success, others do not, find out whats right for you

 

give it more time and hang in there, treat yourself right

I think this post is helpful ....I hope you find it so as well

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

 

I think that reinstating would be a bad idea simply because you don't know if it would make you worse. Then again, only you know what is best. I just personally would not want to cause more harm to myself and that is why I avoid anything at all at this point.

 

I also heard that Dr. Ashton said that if someone has no sleep to "try" to not be afraid if possible. That it is their body needing to be awake for some aspect of their healing to take place. I have only just now in the past few weeks gotten broken sleep back and I am 5 months off. It is really bad sleep where I wake up exhausted but the sleep is happening and it gives me that little hope. I sleep a couple of hours and wake up for one and on it goes. I wear my Fitbit to find out how much sleep and awake and sure enough my REM and deep sleep is very very low and my awake and light sleep dominates. But I know it will come back because there was weeks of zero sleep. Or maybe a fall asleep for a minute to be jerked awake in terror.

 

One thing I wish I had more of and that is patience and faith. I am now praying for both but I did just drive my dog to daycare (single lane empty highway) and that was NOT happening a few weeks ago. Please try to write down any any any improvements you have and if there are none and you are in the downward spiral (like I was) where it is getting worse not better just know that little things will come back. Grab onto them. write them down.

 

Lastly, I heard a woman on youtube today talk about how she used to do crossfire 5x a week and now can barely walk a mile or two. The reason that this was comforting to me was to know that like me, it is all Benzos. And it will come back. People go back to have full lives and heal and I am sure she will do crossfit again and I will climb mountains. I went from zero walking and shuffling to mailbox on a good day to walking slow for an hour.

 

Sorry to ramble. I just think reinstating would be not a good idea this far out. Just the thought that it could make you worse would be enough to make me pause.

 

 

I just realized I linked that article to the wrong post. I was going to reply to your insomnia post. Oh well......