Feeling so alone my heart is broken

How on earth can you recover when getting emotional abuse on top withdrawal. Brief explanation, hsd years emotional abuse from mother, died earlier this year, sister had convinced her to change will in secret cut me out as executor leave her everything. Didn't even list me as next of kin even though sister lives abroad.My son always been difficult we think he's got undiagnosed Aspergers. Refused to support me over any this or criticise my family.. Hubby blew up so now son refusing to have any contact claiming we're affecting his mental health!! I have lovely hubby and his family are really nice, but literally no blood relatives any more. How can I recover from withdrawal with all this crap. Had years of therapy they told me cut off contact with toxic mother stupid me never did. Just feeling very alone in the world at moment, too much coping with withdrawal on top this, recovery not likely anytime soon.

So sorry you are going through all that Leann. I am in a similar boat. Do you see a therapist at all right now? I've been seeing one ever since the later parts of acute and that is pretty much the only thing keeping me going right now. I could be wrong on this, but while emotional stress does cause symptoms to flare up, I don't think it actually prevents us from healing like taking a benzo does.

Hope you are right. Had lot therapy in past to deal with how my mother treated me. We think my son got undiagnosed Aspergers, just got no empathy. Trying persuade my husband to go see him. So sorry you are going through similar doesn't help does it. Hardly eating at moment so might end up slimmer!

So sorry Leann x I’m having a rough time too atm but I am thinking of u x

So sorry that the family issue is affecting and haunting you so much, Leann.  I think it might be good to try and focus on yourself and your lovely husband (I have one as well who I cannot imagine what I would have done without during this process).  Maybe if you do try and cut yourself off from the negative energy that is causing you this grief, you might find some reprieve, or at least provide your healing system some additional support?  No easy answers, of course, but sometimes a different approach or angle of viewing things is needed when we find ourselves in a tough situation.  Healing vibes to you. 

leann,

 

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I wish there were some comforting words I could say that would make the situation better. I'm sending love and hugs coming your way.

 

LiveLife

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((leann))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

Thats a huge hug for you. I too had "Mother" issues. Big ones. But she did not have anything to do with my nasty withdrawal. Except that perhaps, if I had a happy, loving family, maybe I would never had gone on benzos. But in the end, we face our own demons and deal with them as best we can.

For me, getting off benzos (which I took nightly for 30 years-) was the Absolute Best Things I ever did. I had no idea how badly those pills were affecting me. My overall health had gone downhill starting at about age 55. By my last  year on benzos I weighed 80 lbs, and was seriously considering moving into a nursing home.

When it became clear to me how much benzos had done to me, I was equally surprised to realize how much healthier and happier I was off benzos. It was, literally, like being given a second chance at life. Its been 8 years since I began this strange journey, and I am glad to tell you that I STILL think getting off benzos was the best thing I ever did. I like my life now. Amen!

Please hang in there, and know that a lot of peopler here can relate to your story.

east

I'm finding that even with additional "emotional abuse" and stuff from the past, my mind is healing irrespective.  As result of this inevitable healing I'm able to view the past more constructively.  More sanely.  Able to deal with it a whole lot better.  Some peace.  Maybe it just takes longer?  This has been my experience. 

 

Keep going.  Keep healing.  You will see it differently as benzo brain finds balance. 

 

Thirty one months.  I think I'm coming out of it at last, but not completely out of the woods. 

Thank you everyone. I persuaded my husband to drive up to see my son last night after work. ThNkfully they sorted things out. Thought someone has to be the bigger person in all this, he was reluctant to do it but relieved he did. We have accept because of Aspergers  my son never going agree what crap mother I had, but put it past us and move on. Has unfortunately really messed up my life just hoping will get back on track with recovery now. Feel both mentally and physically exhausted.

How on earth can you recover when getting emotional abuse on top withdrawal. Brief explanation, hsd years emotional abuse from mother, died earlier this year, sister had convinced her to change will in secret cut me out as executor leave her everything. Didn't even list me as next of kin even though sister lives abroad.My son always been difficult we think he's got undiagnosed Aspergers. Refused to support me over any this or criticise my family.. Hubby blew up so now son refusing to have any contact claiming we're affecting his mental health!! I have lovely hubby and his family are really nice, but literally no blood relatives any more. How can I recover from withdrawal with all this crap. Had years of therapy they told me cut off contact with toxic mother stupid me never did. Just feeling very alone in the world at moment, too much coping with withdrawal on top this, recovery not likely anytime soon.

 

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time at the moment. You must stop telling yoydwykf though that recovery is unlikely anytime soon. You have to give your grain the option that when it’s time to heal some more - it can. Hang in there. It’s what you choose to focus on. You can choose how much, if any, energy you give to family stuff you can’t change. Especially when it’s in the past. Your son will come around. Can you test him or write him a letter & simply say how much he means to you  - you love him dearly & he will always have all of your heart.

 

Hang in there: xxx

I did  persuade my husband to drive up to see our son after he finished work. They had a good talk and things have calmed down. We do believe he has Aspergers, so will try make allowances in the future, he doesn't deliberately try to hurt me like my Mother, just struggles to see others point of view, not really his fault. Did manage sleep last night.

Just had so much crap thrown at me by my family this year, has really hindered my recovery. Just want my life back not be plagued by stupid thoughts all the time. Has been a lifeline coming on here, thank you everyone for the support, it means so much when you are in a dark place.

I will try to put family behind me now, my Mother gone for good, and cut off contact with sister, just hope a windiw is round the corner😀

 

 

 

Leann, I think you are a trooper. You will get through all of this, even though you dont think you will. I believe women are the stronger sex. Its always been the women here on BB who band together and offer support and friendship. I will always be grateful for BB. I know that if I hadnt stumbled across it, I would NEVER have made it through a CT off benzos. How I found BB is a whole story in itself. I was searching for help with benzo wd, and could not find ANYTHING in person. That alone was disheartening. You see, I am a nurse and considered myself knowledgeable about drugs. I had NO idea wd could cause the many and always unpleasant, scary symptoms. I truly thought, for months, that I had gone insane. So there I was, beginning to understand that I didnt know jack sh--t about benzos. That was humbling. But it wasnt until I started reading stuff here that I began to know that what I was going through was VERY real, and I was not insane. First, I stumbled onto a site which claimed to be BB. But it wasnt, it was a fake site made by some truly nutty guy who, for some reason, hates BB. He was probably kicked out of here. His posts were truly ugly and frightening to me. He quoted people on BB, people I was just beginning to know about. Apparently, he cruised around BB, probably using a fake name. Thats how he knew our screen names and quoted people on his site. Yikes! That was 8 years ago and I hope that guy has found a better way to deal with his anger.

You will get through this, Leann.

Totally agree with everything you said. I thought was going completly nuts, the intrusive thoughts make you think you've lost your mind. Last 6 months been hell with what my god awful family have done, but getting through it finally. I'm in UK virtually no support here, yes BB literally been a life saver for me. The support has kept me going. Yes there are a few dodgy sites around on the web. Currently trying couple supplements someone suggested. I do get despondent but I know others take while to recover. How long have you been off meds?