2 weeks benzo free

Hey all,

 

Not sure if I can call this a milestone yet, but today I'm a little more than two weeks benzo free.

 

I hope I can keep it up for at least a little longer.

Very well done. I’m day 18 - some days better than others. Each day another step to freedom. It’s so worth it.

Congrats to both of you tryingtokeephope and ppy.  It is so worth it.  You can keep it up!

Thanks PPY and JBen021.

 

And PPY, good job! How are you generally feeling now that you're of the benzos for 18 days? I understand some days it can still be challenging, but are you starting to feel better now that you are completely benzo free?

 

I guess posting this topic gave me a bit of bad luck, since I just took two alprazolam pills (2x 1mg).  But I'm not going to put too much weight on this. I guess I just needed a little break, hopefully a good night of sleep so I can recharge a little. And then I'm just going to pick up where I left.

 

If I can do this for the rest of my life, living benzo free most of the days while taking one or two benzos once a week or once every two weeks, then so be it. It's way better than using benzos everyday, that's for sure.

 

Is there anyone who has a good amount of knowledge about this? I understand it's best for your recovery process to not take any benzos anymore, at all. Taking a benzo every week or so will probably slow down your recovery process, I think. But it doesn't bring you back straight to square one again I hope, right?

I tried taking benzo’s once a month for a few years thinking it would not cause harm. Then when I needed to take it for a few short weeks last December I developed dependence quickly.  I’ve been in hell ever since.  In my experience it seemed to damage me over time - even one pill a month.  Not sure you will be successful with that strategy but everyone is different.

Hey Tryingtokeephope - yes it’s so tough. Yesterday turned out not to be good and today.muscle pains and anxiety. I’ve read week 3 is bad so just trying to ride it out. Really don’t want to reinstate. If you can do once or twice a week that’s amazing.

I tried taking benzo’s once a month for a few years thinking it would not cause harm. Then when I needed to take it for a few short weeks last December I developed dependence quickly.  I’ve been in hell ever since.  In my experience it seemed to damage me over time - even one pill a month.  Not sure you will be successful with that strategy but everyone is different.

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that! That sounds pretty extreme, having such a severe reaction from just one pill a month. On what moment of the month did you take it, if I may ask?

 

My personal philosophy on this is that you should always have more days in the week that you don't take benzos, than days that you do take benzos. Of course, the less you take, the better, but I'm really sorry to hear that you are still in hell from a few weeks of benzo use last December. That put things in perspective for me, maybe I really shouldn't be complaining about my situation.

 

Hey Tryingtokeephope - yes it’s so tough. Yesterday turned out not to be good and today.muscle pains and anxiety. I’ve read week 3 is bad so just trying to ride it out. Really don’t want to reinstate. If you can do once or twice a week that’s amazing.

Good job, keep it up! You can be proud of yourself!

 

I gave the bad example, I just couldn't resist having a few nice days while being on benzos, I just took some more. But in the long run, I'm just making things more difficult for myself.

Small update:

 

No positive news with regard to my benzo use. I've been using it daily again for almost 2 weeks now. I honestly hate to say this, but I'm feeling so much better, quality of life has improved greatly. I sleep very good, I feel relaxed during the day, and tasks don't feel like they take such a big toll on me. Everything is so much more bearable.

 

I hate that this bad behaviour of taking benzos is so rewarding for me, and that the good behaviour of staying off the benzos is the complete opposite of rewarding for me. That makes it almost impossible for me to stay sober.

 

Of course I don't want to completely throw in the towel, as always I will try again to get sober and stay sober. But right now, I really love my good sleep, being well rested during the day, being energetic, being relaxed. I want to enjoy this good life for a little longer before I go back to the life that I hate.