Tapering progress

I received a pm about how my taper is going by Slowandsteady “ thank you for asking” who was instrumental in my technique, he has extensive note that are easy to follow. This method has made me very stable with almost zero side effects, a little insomnia that very manageable, granted I’m only though about a .130 of my total amount.

I’ve just made a second batch of liquid with 1mg K to 8ml of alcohol and water to make a .125mg ml solution that’s very accurate and stable and lasted 15 days at room temp in an amber glass bottle. I use a 1ml syringe with 100 graduations to taper the .125 portion of my dose the rest is taken in my normal pill form.

I would say my biggest frustration is wanting to go faster, yet my vivid memories of the past remind me that the w/d s/x are not worth going through, something most of us have gone through to one degree or another.

I see a therapist that is very supportive of my taper method and is challenging me to expand my scope of interest and personal growth to stimulate Neuroplasticity and healing.

I feel the need to help fellow sufferers as much as time permits, it’s become a sort of ministry and a giving back to a great community that’s so supportive and knowledgeable. My faith is the number one hope and motivation to be completely med free.

Pamster, I'm perfectly fine if you need to move this thread. 

Godspeed.

Hi TMH!

Thanks for starting a thread to share your tapering progress! If you want, maybe Pamster or another of the lovely BB team could move this thread to the Buddy Blog board. Either way, it's great to get this update about your experiences.

I like that you've found a liquid clonazepam method and batch size that's working well for you. Great work! 

I'm also so glad to hear that your therapist is supportive of your taper and I like what they're suggesting about stimulating neuroplasticity and healing by expanding your interests. What are you currently exploring to meet this goal?

Hi TMH!

Thanks for starting a thread to share your tapering progress! If you want, maybe Pamster or another of the lovely BB team could move this thread to the Buddy Blog board. Either way, it's great to get this update about your experiences.

 

I like that you've found a liquid clonazepam method and batch size that's working well for you. Great work! 

 

I'm also so glad to hear that your therapist is supportive of your taper and I like what they're suggesting about stimulating neuroplasticity and healing by expanding your interests. What are you currently exploring to meet this goal?

My therapist used very mundane examples, such as taking a different route to work or using my left hand to do something rather then my right. Doing this in a prolific way will create paths in the brain hence speeding up recovery. I'm planning on switching up most of my daily routine.

I have a question for you Slownsteady, in theory if we taper based on our symptoms and we hold at the times of s/x till we stabilize, so basically at the end of the taper our brains would have healed almost entirely "if stable" when jumping off? I want to believe this is possible, yet I don't read that this is happening, even the ones that tapper for a long time. I have a theory that the people doing well don't post as much. What are your thoughts?

Your therapist's suggestion to work with "mundane" opportunities makes sense to me. I believe there is more potential for change and growth in the smaller aspects of our lives than in the larger; in fact, I believe the smaller aspects form the larger, given enough time. Like planting seeds.

I have a question for you Slownsteady, in theory if we taper based on our symptoms and we hold at the times of s/x till we stabilize, so basically at the end of the taper our brains would have healed almost entirely "if stable" when jumping off? I want to believe this is possible, yet I don't read that this is happening, even the ones that tapper for a long time. I have a theory that the people doing well don't post as much. What are your thoughts?

Yes, it is my understanding that healing is happening all the time during a functional tapering practice. Every time we stabilize on a lower dose, I believe we have made that much progress in terms of healing our physical dependence.

Where this gets challenging is that I've observed that reducing and holding alone are not always sufficient support for us to actually stabilize at a lower dose; many benzo patients seem to be lacking the necessary life-skills to down-regulate their nervous system and so below a certain dosage there may be an ongoing instability that needs to be addressed to progress in healing.

By my observations, this life-skills challenge seems particularly common among long-term users. This is also why I am often encouraging taperers to prioritize skill-building during their tapers, and to take opportunities while unstable to apply non-medication stabilization methods. In my experience, these methods take significant practice and time spent tapering seems the perfect opportunity.

Lastly, I agree with your theory: people who are doing well and/or have sufficient at-home or in-person support don't seem to post as much. It's impossible to prove, but this aligns with a larger trend on BB, which is that we don't typically see people with the strong neuroplasticity needed to survive the rapid doctor-led tapers that are supported by pharma-backed research and recommendations. So I would suspect that we also see less of the taperers who are having a tolerable time taking reductions.

Case in point, I once saw a post by a buddy who said their plan was to taper at whatever rate was necessary to never experience a withdrawal symptom. I thought this was a very sensible idea, and bold given that they were needing to do some slow rate (maybe 2-5%/2-weeks, I can't remember). I never heard from them again. My suspicion is that they don't have much reason to post on the forum!

That being said, I suspect we also see less of taperers who are ashamed to not be making progress like they had hoped. I know at least a few buddies on long holds, confused about where to go next, and reluctant to post on the forums. So perhaps there are at least a few reasons why people don't post, and to your theory, I agree that one of them could definitely be ease of tapering.

Here's to healing, all the way down.

“Where this gets challenging is that I've observed that reducing and holding alone are not always sufficient support for us to actually stabilize at a lower dose; many benzo patients seem to be lacking the necessary life-skills to down-regulate their nervous system and so below a certain dosage there may be an ongoing instability that needs to be addressed to progress in healing.”

So how do we address this in order to get stable and progress?

“Where this gets challenging is that I've observed that reducing and holding alone are not always sufficient support for us to actually stabilize at a lower dose; many benzo patients seem to be lacking the necessary life-skills to down-regulate their nervous system and so below a certain dosage there may be an ongoing instability that needs to be addressed to progress in healing.”

 

So how do we address this in order to get stable and progress?

I typically shy away from direct mental health questions because our language is so limited, and my understanding of mental health so incomplete. But I will try to illustrate my point.

In my opinion the short answer is: by practicing any non-medicated way to calm ourselves down. In my opinion the longer answer is: ideally with a variety of learned techniques which might be described as therapeutic, mindfulness/awareness-based, and authentic.

I am aware of hundreds of methods, and there are doubtless many thousands more that I don't know about, which can support someone in learning to down-regulate their nervous system. None of them, in my experience, are instant in their initial application; also none of them work like a pill by taking action without our attention and practice.

However despite the ongoing need for attention and practice, I've found that most of these methods are not difficult, and many are actually quite fun. Art therapy, for example, seems to me to be a great way to explore ourselves and allow certain emotions and understandings about ourselves to arise in a safe and meaningful way. Similarly, journaling, breathwork, and positive affirmations have a low threshold of entry and appear to be very helpful for some people on their journey.

I like the suggestion of TMH's therapist, to focus on the mundane. I believe that there is incredible potential in doing small things, small therapies, small experiments, to expand our opportunities and awareness. If the goal is to find opportunities for calming down, I think this same suggestion applies: the small, simple activities seem to offer the greatest ease of entry and potential for ongoing progress.

This is why I would not suggest any specific therapy or activity for someone trying to get stable and progress in their healing. Instead I would suggest looking around and starting with what's in reach. Maybe the easiest thing is reading an online article on ideas for reducing stress, then maybe applying one of those ideas which is both interesting and easy to do in one's current lifestyle. And I'd suggest continuing this exploration with patience and pacing, slowly making new experiments, beginning new habits, trialing and abandoning some, keeping up with others, however it suits the individual.

I believe we all want to heal. Thus I believe that given enough exploration and play in various therapeutic modalities, we can find what works for us and develop an increasing tool-kit of skills for meeting whatever challenges are before us in healing. Sometimes the challenge is broadening our horizons. Sometimes the challenge is starting where we are, and making small deliberate steps. Sometimes the challenge is noticing what is happening now, and earning a better understanding our circumstances.

I suggest to anyone interested in skill-building during benzo recover to look around, at themselves and their life, and pick something small that is in the direction of their goal of skillful self-soothing without medication. I suggest taking a chance and trying something today. And with persistence, I believe this simple approach is all that is needed to go any distance that we desire in healing.