anyone else have FEAR as a primary symptom?

Since screwing up my taper I have had many symptoms but the one that seems to be the most consistent and challenging for me is FEAR AND TERROR.  of everything.  going down to the mail room to pick up a package - terror.  thinking about going to see a family member - terror.  but even sitting here on my bed doing not much of anything and I just have this 24/7 underlying sense of dread, fear, doom and gloom.  even if i have a "better" few hours and can force myself to do something it is like this force -- right behind the scenes making me feel unsafe, totally uncomfortable and wanting to race back to the safety of my bedroom.  This has been going on for the last 4-5 months but peaked two months ago and has been awful.

 

I sometimes feel I am "standing guard" like a rigid statue.  I will find myself afraid to answer the phone, pay a bill, talk to a friend or family member......it has made my life INCREDIBLY small

 

anyone else have this symptom?  did it go away in time? 

I had this in the beginning of my taper, it was horrific.  This got much, much better when I reduced my cuts to a more tolerable percentage.  Hold your dose , stabilize, and then reduce by a much smaller percentage.

 

Your not alone, you have support here.

Since screwing up my taper I have had many symptoms but the one that seems to be the most consistent and challenging for me is FEAR AND TERROR.  of everything.  going down to the mail room to pick up a package - terror.  thinking about going to see a family member - terror.  but even sitting here on my bed doing not much of anything and I just have this 24/7 underlying sense of dread, fear, doom and gloom.  even if i have a "better" few hours and can force myself to do something it is like this force -- right behind the scenes making me feel unsafe, totally uncomfortable and wanting to race back to the safety of my bedroom.  This has been going on for the last 4-5 months but peaked two months ago and has been awful.

 

I sometimes feel I am "standing guard" like a rigid statue.  I will find myself afraid to answer the phone, pay a bill, talk to a friend or family member......it has made my life INCREDIBLY small

 

anyone else have this symptom?  did it go away in time?

 

Hi 300-

I have this as well. I am at 2mg and at a standstill paralyzed in fear. Holding for now. This symptom I had in the beginning and as I tapered it went away but is now back closer to the end.

 

I like SeaSalt recommendation. How much did you slow your taper Salt? I think I saw you jumped on another thread. Congratulations!

Yes, I have jumped!  I am so darn happy to be on the other side!  Thank you so much for the well-wishes!!

 

When I began my taper I literally split a .25 mg pill in half and reduced by half, I reinstated to the original dose three days later, it nearly killed me.  The next cut was a  half of a half (.06), this took a month to stabilize.  I then did .03 and held for another month.  I was really having a rough go, my husband suggested 2.5%, so I did 2.5% per month for a few months and then was able to cut 2.5% per week for a total of 10% per month after that.  This worked well for me.    The symptoms subsided and things progressed.

 

Please keep in mind that in the beginning I was suffering from thyroiditis/Hashimoto's disease, you may be able to reduce quicker than I did.  The symptoms subsided as I reduced, some sneak back from time to time but it is short lived.

 

Best of luck...

Hi SeaSalt-

Thank you for responding. Congratulations again. Thank you for this info. I was thinking of trying 3% for a while as I am at a standstill and have so much fear. I also have Hashimottos that is why I was put on a benzo. I have been doing a long slow taper where I did get better as I tapered until I hit 3mg. 3-2 was rough but I got through it mostly resting until 5pm everyday. I am having a hard time moving past 2mg now.

I’m so sorry, I know how tough this can be.  I think your body needs some extra time.  I would hold for now.  It sounds like maybe the Hashimoto’s may be flaring up?  It can mimic drug withdrawal (lucky us)…

 

Hang in there..

I’m so sorry, I know how tough this can be.  I think your body needs some extra time.  I would hold for now.  It sounds like maybe the Hashimoto’s may be flaring up?  It can mimic drug withdrawal (lucky us)…

 

Hang in there..

Yes, holding for now.  Can you tell me what your adrenaline surges feel like? Are you having them during the day or at night? I am having them through out the night I sleep 1.5 hours then wake to adrenaline for an hour then back to sleep 1.5 hours wake to adrenaline again. This happens three or more times a night. But I am grateful to be getting some sleep at least. Sleep however I can get it really calms the fear.

Yes, this sounds very normal.  I typically wake after 1-2 hours of sleep and dose off again for another 3 or so.  The adrenaline surges were happening about three times per day.  This has slowed dramatically.  Holding should help stabilize you and then you can begin again.  I guess a big part of this is accepting that the sx's are going to come and go.  They will lessen over time.

 

Sleep was huge in this!  I always felt so different if I was able to get some decent sleep.  If I only got a hour or two I would get up and not allow myself to go back to sleep.  This would typically help the next night, I would get about 5 hours and feel much, much better. 

 

Things will get better...just keep moving forward and never look back.

I have been feeling exactly the same way lately. Even when things are going okay, I feel as if there’s this huge dark cloud over me telling me that I won’t be okay that I can’t shake. I have been feeling a lot of panic lately because of the fact that I’m not feeling like myself. I stopped taking 0.5 mg of Ativan one month ago and it has been absolute hell.

I have felt exactly the same way all through the taper.  I am now a week off and not feeling a whole lot different.

 

One day at a time…

I really do sympathise but can I make a suggestion?

 

If you're going to use all capitals for words like "fear" and "terror", you are amplifying the problem. You're validating how big the fear and terror are by emphasising them. In fact, every time you utter how terrified you are, you are hardwiring that into your brain. I know that this might sound a little strange and you probably feel like nothing makes a difference anyway, so what does it matter? But I promise promise promise that it really does matter how you choose to frame the problem. I'm not saying don't ever talk about it. We all need to get things off our chest and express ourselves, but it is not wise to add extra emphasis when it's not needed.

 

The fear and terror feel very real but if you are safe, you can be sure it's only your nerves misfiring. It does get better. It did for me and many others here. So If you can stick things out, you WILL get better. That is the story that you need to emphasise more. That these feelings are false and due to benzo withdrawal, and that logically you will get better in time, and that it will be easier if you can try to tell yourself this positive story that has a happy ending. I hope this helps some.