Almost 20 months out still feeling terrible

Many ups and many downs. I just got knocked into the worst wave i think i ever felt in this journey and i have yet to understand how it happened. My stress has been fair. My diet has been pretty clean, and i only drink water now. My mental symptoms are absolutely irrational and intrusive to the point i just want to sleep to stray them away. My mood is so passive aggressive that i get agitated by anyone. At this point i'm seriously considering antidepressants. I just don't know how this gets worse and worse for me as time progresses on when it's supposed to be the opposite. Anyone else experience these later on in ct? Or am i the rare occurrence?

Many ups and many downs. I just got knocked into the worst wave i think i ever felt in this journey and i have yet to understand how it happened. My stress has been fair. My diet has been pretty clean, and i only drink water now. My mental symptoms are absolutely irrational and intrusive to the point i just want to sleep to stray them away. My mood is so passive aggressive that i get agitated by anyone. At this point i'm seriously considering antidepressants. I just don't know how this gets worse and worse for me as time progresses on when it's supposed to be the opposite. Anyone else experience these later on in ct? Or am i the rare occurrence?

 

I c/t of Xanax 1999 not knowing what I did, no BB forum yet. Was diagnosed bipolar Based of w/d s/x, put on Depakote and Zoloft AD. For me it was the phycological that I was diagnosed correctly so maybe it helped, takes 3 weeks to start working, regardless I got better with waves of Dr and of other crap. I think it’s all healing as hard as it is to handle.

 

Once I get deeper into my tapper I don’t want to take an AD, but when it’s really hard I may reconsider. I know I can heal because I did for the most part until insomnia kicked in from c/t AD then back on Benzo. I wish I knew what was happening then, nothing sounds unusual about your case, it’s a beast and non linear so know your not alone!