Epilepsy: Violence, police and the law: I am on Benzodiazepines for life.

Earlier I posted that I halved my dose of Clobazam. For about six days I was absolutely euphoric. I was frankly manic, as though I had taken a drug - only I was reducing benzo intake. I started feeling normal yesterday. That should have been a red flag.

 

Then I felt like my body ached, and I started running outside doing random pushups in the middle of the street along the way.

 

Next thing I know, I am in the back of a squad car behind a couple of perplexed looking cops. My face is bruised, my knuckles skinned and I have abrasions. I can't remember what year it is, where I live or what my phone number is.

 

This is not the first time. It was incredibly bad judgement to tamper with my medication. The Violence, seizures, injuries happen every time, but I keep forgetting. But Sooner or later, I'm going to catch serious legal charges for failure of standard of care.

 

It looks like I'm stuck on Benzodiazepines indefinitely. All the doctors, all my friends and family agree. It may be a dangerous drug, but I am a danger to myself and others. If I want to walk the streets, I have to go back onto the medication at full dose.

 

Best of luck to the rest of you! It looks like I'm done. Now I need to rest. My ears are ringing as loud as if a gunshot went off right beside my head.  :'(

I'm sorry to hear what happened but I'm glad you've made the best decision for your circumstances, I wish you nothing but the best and please feel free to check in from time to time to let us know how you're doing. 

Thanks Pamster,  I intend to read the forum from time to time, and will refer others here if they may need better information.

 

Best of luck.

Earlier I posted that I halved my dose of Clobazam. For about six days I was absolutely euphoric. I was frankly manic, as though I had taken a drug - only I was reducing benzo intake. I started feeling normal yesterday. That should have been a red flag.

 

Then I felt like my body ached, and I started running outside doing random pushups in the middle of the street along the way.

 

Next thing I know, I am in the back of a squad car behind a couple of perplexed looking cops. My face is bruised, my knuckles skinned and I have abrasions. I can't remember what year it is, where I live or what my phone number is.

 

This is not the first time. It was incredibly bad judgement to tamper with my medication. The Violence, seizures, injuries happen every time, but I keep forgetting. But Sooner or later, I'm going to catch serious legal charges for failure of standard of care.

 

It looks like I'm stuck on Benzodiazepines indefinitely. All the doctors, all my friends and family agree. It may be a dangerous drug, but I am a danger to myself and others. If I want to walk the streets, I have to go back onto the medication at full dose.

 

Best of luck to the rest of you! It looks like I'm done. Now I need to rest. My ears are ringing as loud as if a gunshot went off right beside my head.  :'(

 

I think you should rethink this before staying on Benzos for life. The fact that you halved your dose is a dramatic decrease. What about doing a gradual daily tapper that you can manage your symptoms by holding your dose. There's so many great resources here to tapper safely, please reconsider.

 

I was diagnosed bipolar and had manic behavior, but after 5 years or so I was on and of my bipolar meds and my doc couldn't believe that my symptoms had passed and changed my diagnosis to a psychotic break, yet it was brought about by exstream stress and my first c/t of of Xanex. Now I'm tappering Klonopin for insomnia after C/t bipolar meds 20 years later. I'm only telling you this to give you some perspective and you will heal from benzo use despite what everyone tells you, beside the fact that you can become tolerant and then have to taper at some point. I'm telling you this to scare you just to be inform you. Godspeed.