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SOS, please for help!


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Hello all CT sufferers!

I made the biggest mistake in my life and if wasn't my family and husband probably i will be gone.

I was prescribed for 11 years on Ativan from my doctor for insomnia when i was 25 age.

For two stupid sleepless night i freaked and i went to psychiatrist and she puted me on 1 mg Ativan per night.

I never increase the dose and i was not that informed what could happen with this demonic pils.

This Spring i got very severe anxiety and insomnia and i realise that i was tolerant on this demon.

Here in the Balkans we don't have professionals for this problem, and one doctor told me that 1mg is nothing and will be easy to tape in 2,3 months.

When i cut the second quarter 0.25 after 1 month, one morning suddenly i started to have intrusive thoughts that freaked me and then i started to have sensations in my genitals when i will see a girl from fear, and whole my life im gay and i love whole the girls like my sisters.

Now I'm obsessed that i cause permanent damage and i will never be cured.

It's crazy!!!

It's like in movie that you pray to not be true.

24 hours im preoccupied with this.

I don't feel pleasure, don't understand me wrong, just crazy intrusive thoughts and i feel tension from fear in my genitals.

And, also, after the cutting second quarter my genitals are over sensitive and with some burning, and i convince my self that my sexuality was changed.

Its crazyyyy Jesus!!!

I can't recognise myself!!!

I'm in depersonalization!!!

My emotions are blunted and i can't negate anything, everything that passes in my mind loks real.

One part of my brain is aware, but i can't feel emotions.

I'm like in anesthesia!!!

Now the doctor gave me 0.5 Clonazepam but I'm the same. The damage is dun.

Please tell me some similar experience or hope that i will come back to myself one day.

I don't want to die like other person.

Please help me people what to do.

 

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What you're experiencing is really common, we become strangers to ourselves and its really scary because when that happens, we have difficulty connecting with our loved ones.

 

It's very important to recognize that this is simply a bi-product of the drug tolerance and withdrawal, it isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  This drug lies to us so we have to fight against the lies and that starts by denying them.

 

I actually talked to the fear, I kept telling myself it wasn't real, that I was still me under all of the pain and fear, and you can do this too. 

 

Try to distract yourself from these thoughts because you're giving them power over you, the more power you give them the stronger they become.

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Deep inside me I'm trying to believe, but i don't know how to cure myself.

I'm on 0.5 Klonazepam now 3 weeks after cutting Ativan before 1 montn, and now i don't know how much time to tape, I'm and like this bad with this crazy depersonalization..

I really don't know what to do.

I'm afraid to take antipsychotics now to not make more problems.

I'm very confused what to do.

I'm afraid to not loose my mind completely.

The thoughts now became unwanted feelings and and sensations..

 

 

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What you're experiencing is really common, we become strangers to ourselves and its really scary because when that happens, we have difficulty connecting with our loved ones.

 

It's very important to recognize that this is simply a bi-product of the drug tolerance and withdrawal, it isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  This drug lies to us so we have to fight against the lies and that starts by denying them.

 

I actually talked to the fear, I kept telling myself it wasn't real, that I was still me under all of the pain and fear, and you can do this too. 

 

Try to distract yourself from these thoughts because you're giving them power over you, the more power you give them the stronger they become.

 

I disagree .. drugs don't "lie" any more than salt, pepper and other substances "lie". Benzodiazepines may affect neuronal receptors, other body parts and they may cause other physiological changes but they don't "lie". Perhaps the bolded statement is an oversimplification or perhaps it is a bit of medical misinformation to offer a sense of empathy, I don't know.  imo, sufferers should seek professional and well informed medical advice. smh 

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They cause me OCD because of the rapid withdrawal!!!

OCD can cause unwanted urges, feelings, sensations, not only thoughts!!!

Whole my life I'm gay.

I'm the girl! I'm passive gay, feminine and i will identity my self like girl or woman.

And whole my life i love all of the girls and women like sisters and daughters, and suddenly in one night started looping morbid thoughts and i freaked and after i started to feel sensations, not erection, sensations like need for pee when i ll see girl because of the fear, and don't forget that im in brutal withdrawal. In withdrawal you can get psychosis, ocd, delusions, everything!

My ant in withdrawal created OCD with zoophilia!

The most of doctors doesn't understand this horrible problem withdrawal well!

 

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You're still you, nothing has changed, just your perception of yourself right now, this is because of the drug.  It's important for you to try to calm yourself, you're still a friend and sister to women, the drug withdrawal can't change who you are, it just feels that way.

 

The sensation in your genitals could simply what Professor Ashton describes in chapter 3 of the Ashton manual.

Bodily sensations. All sorts of strange tinglings, pins and needles, patches of numbness, feelings of electric shocks, sensations of hot and cold, itching, and deep burning pain are not uncommon during benzodiazepine withdrawal. It is difficult to give an exact explanation for these sensations but, like motor nerves, the sensory nerves, along with their connections in the spinal cord and brain, become hyperexcitable during withdrawal. It is possible that sensory receptors in skin and muscle, and in the tissue sheaths around bones, may fire off impulses chaotically in response to stimuli that do not normally affect them.

 

Trust those who have gone before you, you're going to be okay but this requires you to have faith in yourself and your ability to make it through this.  Can you give your loved ones a big hug to let them know you love them and need them to reassure you?

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What you're experiencing is really common, we become strangers to ourselves and its really scary because when that happens, we have difficulty connecting with our loved ones.

 

It's very important to recognize that this is simply a bi-product of the drug tolerance and withdrawal, it isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  This drug lies to us so we have to fight against the lies and that starts by denying them.

 

I actually talked to the fear, I kept telling myself it wasn't real, that I was still me under all of the pain and fear, and you can do this too. 

 

Try to distract yourself from these thoughts because you're giving them power over you, the more power you give them the stronger they become.

 

I disagree .. drugs don't "lie" any more than salt, pepper and other substances "lie". Benzodiazepines may affect neuronal receptors, other body parts and they may cause other physiological changes but they don't "lie". Perhaps the bolded statement is an oversimplification or perhaps it is a bit of medical misinformation to offer a sense of empathy, I don't know.  imo, sufferers should seek professional and well informed medical advice. smh

 

Well, thank for clearing that up! Lol. Dude, you must be great at parties. I’m getting more used to your comments but damn. Lol. Of course the statement was an oversimplification. Lol. You’re too much. I just can’t. Lol.

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Pamster,

I feel very bad today again, my body burning, non stop intrusive thoughts and sensations, i feel that i will gona die like this.

Here on the Balkans we don't have professionals for this problem.

I was 11 years on 1mg per night, one unprofessional doctor gave me tapering for 2 months, and in the second quarter started the craziness with the obsessions and he put me on 0.5 Clonazepam. 3 weeks I'm off from Ativan, but i don't feel good at all.

Still I have OCD, even worst than i was on Ativan.

I don't know what to do and where to go.

It's the worst hell that i experienced in my life!!!

I can't survive if this will last more..

 

What to do with this 0. 5 Klonazepam?

I feel worst on it.

We don't have professional hospitals here fir this problem, they will make me mad

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What you're experiencing is really common, we become strangers to ourselves and its really scary because when that happens, we have difficulty connecting with our loved ones.

 

It's very important to recognize that this is simply a bi-product of the drug tolerance and withdrawal, it isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  This drug lies to us so we have to fight against the lies and that starts by denying them.

 

I actually talked to the fear, I kept telling myself it wasn't real, that I was still me under all of the pain and fear, and you can do this too. 

 

Try to distract yourself from these thoughts because you're giving them power over you, the more power you give them the stronger they become.

 

I disagree .. drugs don't "lie" any more than salt, pepper and other substances "lie". Benzodiazepines may affect neuronal receptors, other body parts and they may cause other physiological changes but they don't "lie". Perhaps the bolded statement is an oversimplification or perhaps it is a bit of medical misinformation to offer a sense of empathy, I don't know.  imo, sufferers should seek professional and well informed medical advice. smh

 

Well, thank for clearing that up! Lol. Dude, you must be great at parties. I’m getting more used to your comments but damn. Lol. Of course the statement was an oversimplification. Lol. You’re too much. I just can’t. Lol.

 

"Dude", I do very well at parties. Thank you for asking. I also do very well during emergency situations where the use of poor communications, misinformation or a mistake in procedure can mean the difference between helping someone save their life or their unwanted and needless suffering and perhaps even their death. The original post used the international signal of distress .. "SOS, please for help!". Perhaps you find humor in other peoples' distress and suffering .. I do not. Your cavalier remark on this thread and on other threads in which I've seen you post demonstrates to me that any further discussion with you would be futile. best wishes   

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What you're experiencing is really common, we become strangers to ourselves and its really scary because when that happens, we have difficulty connecting with our loved ones.

 

It's very important to recognize that this is simply a bi-product of the drug tolerance and withdrawal, it isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  This drug lies to us so we have to fight against the lies and that starts by denying them.

 

I actually talked to the fear, I kept telling myself it wasn't real, that I was still me under all of the pain and fear, and you can do this too. 

 

Try to distract yourself from these thoughts because you're giving them power over you, the more power you give them the stronger they become.

 

I disagree .. drugs don't "lie" any more than salt, pepper and other substances "lie". Benzodiazepines may affect neuronal receptors, other body parts and they may cause other physiological changes but they don't "lie". Perhaps the bolded statement is an oversimplification or perhaps it is a bit of medical misinformation to offer a sense of empathy, I don't know.  imo, sufferers should seek professional and well informed medical advice. smh

 

Well, thank for clearing that up! Lol. Dude, you must be great at parties. I’m getting more used to your comments but damn. Lol. Of course the statement was an oversimplification. Lol. You’re too much. I just can’t. Lol.

 

"Dude", I do very well at parties. Thank you for asking. I also do very well during emergency situations where the use of poor communications, misinformation or a mistake in procedure can mean the difference between helping someone save their life or their unwanted and needless suffering and perhaps even their death. The original post used the international signal of distress .. "SOS, please for help!". Perhaps you find humor in other peoples' distress and suffering .. I do not. Your cavalier remark on this thread and on other threads in which I've seen you post demonstrates to me that any further discussion with you would be futile. best wishes 

 

Blah, blah, blah, yeah, we all get it. You’re better than us. Looks like the guy who insults everyone constantly finally feels insulted. Pretty ironic. Lol.

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Pamster,

I feel very bad today again, my body burning, non stop intrusive thoughts and sensations, i feel that i will gona die like this.

Here on the Balkans we don't have professionals for this problem.

I was 11 years on 1mg per night, one unprofessional doctor gave me tapering for 2 months, and in the second quarter started the craziness with the obsessions and he put me on 0.5 Clonazepam. 3 weeks I'm off from Ativan, but i don't feel good at all.

Still I have OCD, even worst than i was on Ativan.

I don't know what to do and where to go.

It's the worst hell that i experienced in my life!!!

I can't survive if this will last more..

 

What to do with this 0. 5 Klonazepam?

I feel worst on it.

We don't have professional hospitals here fir this problem, they will make me mad

 

I need some information from you, can you help us help you by adding a signature but if you can't do that, can you supply the information and I'll add it for you?  This will help us help you by knowing exactly what drugs you're taking and what you've taken in the past and for how long.  These are the instructions: Add your history/signature 

 

So far I know you were on 1 mg of Ativan and now you're on .5 mgs of Clonazepam, how long have you been taking that and how many times a day do you dose?

 

Not very many of our members have access to good medical care when it comes to benzo's so try not to panic, sometimes hospitals aren't the answer for this problem because they tend to withdraw you too fast and add a lot of other medications which can complicate your recovery.  If your doctor is aware of your situation and supports your taper, this may be all you need to accomplish it.

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