My recovery and advice from Z Drug induced extreme withdrawal insomnia.

(Reposted from the insomnia thread)

Ok here’s my story of possibly the worst time of my life to date, mainly induced by a Z drug that was prescribed to me. I have now healed, I sleep 6-7 hours a night and it actually feels like sleep again. Recovery has taken 8 months and been horrid at times. To put it into context, I was struggling with sleep in September/October 2020 mainly due to anxiety I believe, I was sleeping between 2 and 6 hours a night at the time.

I asked a doctor if they had anything to help and they immediately prescribed Zopiclone, saying ‘take one a night (3.75mg) for two weeks and if they work let me know and I’ll prescribe more.’ No mention of dependency, tolerance, addiction or side effects. Or indeed what these evil drugs do to your brain and nervous system. I was willing to try anything at that point so took his word and started taking them daily. Initially they worked, I was sleeping well again, up until just under two weeks later when I started struggling to go to sleep again, so I got in touch with the doctor who just said ‘here’s some more, go up to two tablets a night (7.5mg). So I upped the dose  and was sleeping fine again. Up until two weeks later, when I thought I would try sleeping without them one night. I couldn’t sleep at all. That was my first zero night. I also started to feel odd during the day, extreme anxiety, heart palpitations, vision issues. But I noticed that when I took Zopiclone in the evenings before bed, the symptoms would go away. I didn’t realise at the time but I was starting to have intra dose withdrawal. I also started to struggle to sleep on 7.5mg. So I went up to 10mg for three nights. I slept, but the sleep wasn’t proper sleep. It was like being punched in the face sleep and I didn’t wake up feeling restored at all. This started to scare me and I realised I needed to get off them. So I did a one week taper (which was way too short) back down to 3.75mg. My sleep was awful during that week, at best 4 hours a night, with a couple of zero nights.

Then I jumped. What ensued was the most hideous period of my life. I thought my sleep was bad before I went on these pills but that was nothing compared to what experienced in the weeks after coming off them. The first 4 nights I didn’t sleep at all. I tried, felt exhausted but wired all the time. I remember going to bed the fifth night and sleeping for 4 hours, it was rubbish light sleep but I was overjoyed. But it was followed by another 4 nights of nothing. This was accompanied by heart and chest flutters, trembling and chest pain. I realise that my body almost required the drug to feel normal. The second stint of 4 nights I panicked and phoned the doctors, who claimed it couldn’t be their beloved drugs and I needed to see a psychiatrist. I even went to the urgent care centre who wanted me on more pills. I felt really alone, I didn’t understand what was happening to my body and thankfully that’s when I found this site, and I read the book ‘Klonopin Withdrawal and Howling Dogs’ which described a woman’s awful benzo withdrawal induced insomnia. I then realised it was withdrawal insomnia and I was just going to have to ride it out, it was sobering reading it could take months. The next three weeks I averaged 10 hours or so of sleep a week with lots of zero nights. My skin, hair, eyes etc all felt terrible, and I felt so weak and exhausted when trying to run or exercise. It was miserable. I idealised suicide many times.

About a month after the last pill, my sleep went to being able to sleep one night and not the next. This was aided by the sudden success with using a low dose of Mirtazipine, about 3mg. It had not worked at all until this point. With a LOT of REM sleep, I mean a lot. This lasted a month. Then came the first two night block of sleep and I was elated. That quickly became three. Then after two months I was able to get some form of sleep every night. It wasn’t restorative, I could always tell because when I opened my eyes it didn’t feel like I’d been asleep at all, but I’d look at my watch and 5 hours had passed. Deep restorative sleep did not come back for a long time. Maybe after 6-7 months or so. By April (month 4) after two weeks of solid 3-5 hour nights I was getting these horrible waves still where I would go 3-4 nights of getting very little and it feels like I’m going back to square one but then it improves, I guess these are waves.

So what I have learned:

1. You WILL heal. It may feel like you won’t, and there will be some awful days and nights. But you will. It gets better. Don’t believe some of the crap you read on here or some Facebook groups where some say it never gets better. I think some people love the sound of their own individual situation and the attention it gives them. The vast majority get better. Be positive.

2. No amount of supplements, cbti or sleep hygiene will make any difference to withdrawal insomnia. I tried most things and the only things I believed that helped were not things that help sleep specifically but more aid the recovery of your nervous system. I had green smoothies every day courtesy of Athletic Greens (the book ‘klonopin withdrawal and howling dogs recommended green smoothies), a Probiotic containing lactobacillus Rhamnossus (to reduce anxiety, lots of evidence this particular bacteria reduces anxiety) and Nordic Naturals Omega Oil (recommended by Parker to help brain injury recovery). Going to bed at the same time and getting out of it at the same time even if you don’t sleep helps your body establish a routine which makes the recovery easier I think, or did in my case.

3. Sleep hygiene says if you can’t sleep get out of bed, well I don’t think this applies to withdrawal insomnia, I think if you can’t sleep just being in a dark room and resting your eyes is the next best thing and I spent many nights doing this, getting up would have made me feel worse.

4. If you don’t feel you can exercise, go out walking. I walked most days until I felt I could exercise again. Morning walks are better, exposing your body to light early on.

5. Doctors and medical professionals have an extremely poor understanding of the effects of their beloved Z drugs and Benzos. I even went to see a world leading sleep doctor who claimed I had psycho physiological insomnia and wanted me back on Zopiclone and trazodone to get me sleeping again. Thank the lord I didn’t listen to him. I went to A and E on Christmas Day because I’d had my second stint of 4 nights without sleep and I had chest pains, the doctor wanted me back on pills. Finding this site and reading through Dr Ashton’s Manual and the experiences of others is the best thing you can do.

6. Sleep does come back but as others have said, it’s extremely non linear, involves a lot of REM rebound initially and won’t feel restorative for a good while. You might go through 3 weeks of improvement and get excited that everything is coming back to normal but then have a rubbish week or longer where it feels like it’s going back to that awful phase of sleep again. Stick with it. These periods will happen and are common. At 4 months off when I’d had 2 weeks of proper sleep again, I had a week where it went back to how it was in the early stages of withdrawal, all the horrible memories came back and I thought I was broken. But it went back to normal after a week or two. I imagine that will keep happening from time to time. (Update, it has)

7. The time you were on these hideous drugs has no bearing on how long the recovery will be. Perhaps tolerance has more effect on the length of recovery. I was only on for 7 weeks but it’s taken 8 months to recover, some people have been on for less time and need longer. Some are on for years and come off without a problem. Every one has their own unique withdrawal experience.

8. You will become a more appreciative, grateful and more compassionate human being after this experience. You will enjoy the smaller things, be less materialistic and more tolerant. There were times after I stopped these pills that I thought my body wouldn’t hold out and I was going to die. The human body can take a significant beating before it starts failing. As one doctor said to me a long time ago, when your time is up there’s not much they can do.

9. Your body will get all the sleep it needs. Even if that’s just half an hour or so initially, or even micro sleeps. Every day off that rat poison is a day closer to recovery.

10. There are no long term health studies showing what cumulative use of z drugs and benzos can do to the human body. The companies who make them say you should not take them for more than 2-4 weeks max. Easy to say when they don’t realise how addictive they are and how the body can become dependant on them. It might be hell in the short term but getting off them is the best thing you can do.

11. You will have these occasional phases where insomnia returns for a ‘wave’, which might be 2-3 nights, or a week. It will feel as bad as it did at the start, but it won’t last too long. It’s part of the healing process.

12. An understanding of what they have done to your nervous system helps you understand the symptoms. This is covered extensively by Parker in another thread and also in the Ashton Manual. But understanding that your body reacts to the drug by shutting down your gaba receptors in an attempt to maintain homeostasis, which results in its counter neurotransmitter, glutamate being allowed to run the show explains why you feel so awake all the time despite feeling exhausted. Here is the the psychology wiki page which I believe best describes what Z drugs do, and how they are just benzos with a different chemical structure.

https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/Zopiclone

It has taken 8 months for sleep to properly return and actually feel like sleep again. Pretty much in line with Ashtons ‘6-12 months insomnia will resolve’ advice.

Happy to answer any questions, or if anyone wants to DM me they can. I remember how awful it was at it’s worst, and there were people on here who were there to guide me and help me on my way out of it.

Thank you RedOne, in my time here I've come to believe that Zopilcone is the worst of the z-drugs, I'm so happy you found your way off of it and have recovered from your use. 

Sleep is such a gift, I've chased it all of my life, I've used alcohol, Klonopin and Ambien and none of them provided the wonderful, restful and restorative sleep I have now without all of those terrible substances.

Your story will give many of our members hope because if you can come through this then so can they. 

2. No amount of supplements, cbti or sleep hygiene will make any difference to withdrawal insomnia. I tried most things and the only things I believed that helped were not things that help sleep specifically but more aid the recovery of your nervous system. I had green smoothies every day courtesy of Athletic Greens (the book ‘klonopin withdrawal and howling dogs recommended green smoothies), a Probiotic containing lactobacillus Rhamnossus (to reduce anxiety, lots of evidence this particular bacteria reduces anxiety) and Nordic Naturals Omega Oil (recommended by Parker to help brain injury recovery). Going to bed at the same time and getting out of it at the same time even if you don’t sleep helps your body establish a routine which makes the recovery easier I think, or did in my case.

The body needs GABA receptors to work to be able to sleep. If they are damaged, nothing will help you sleep.

Once the brain starts repairing though, supps and some Rx will start to help.

My experience was almost identical to yours. Even at my worst, I still took:

1. CytoGreens, 2 scoops daily.

2. As much leafy greens as I could stuff myself with, and added other veggies, like peppers, tomatoes, carrots, etc.

3. ZMA every night (Zinc and Magnesium). I sometimes alternated with Mag Glycinate. I used it religiously every night. I still use it now.

I took other things, but not as regularly, like Valerian, Magnolia Bark, Melissa, Passionflower, and like 10 different other supps.

I personally feel they all helped me heal.

Sleep hygiene doesn't do a damn s#%t.......................at the beginning. But once your brain heals, it is now used to sleeping at a certain time. I still got to bed at the same time, sometimes off by 1hr. (Except when I have to do night shifts at work).

3. Sleep hygiene says if you can’t sleep get out of bed, well I don’t think this applies to withdrawal insomnia, I think if you can’t sleep just being in a dark room and resting your eyes is the next best thing and I spent many nights doing this, getting up would have made me feel worse

YES!!! I felt terrible when I didn't get sleep for days, BUT there was a difference if I actually lied down to rest, vs trying to burn it all night long. I'd have probably died if I had tried to stay up for days at a time. Even if you don't sleep, your body still gets a bit of rest.

5. Doctors and medical professionals have an extremely poor understanding of the effects of their beloved Z drugs and Benzos. I even went to see a world leading sleep doctor who claimed I had psycho physiological insomnia and wanted me back on Zopiclone and trazodone to get me sleeping again.

Wow, what a class A ignoramus. World leading sleep doctor, lol

8. You will become a more appreciative, grateful and more compassionate human being after this experience

I do a lot of driving from different cities to get to different sites in Canada.

I remember the first few nights I was able to get 5hr sleep on my own, and how much I enjoyed a 5hr drive and being able to take in the scenery and smell the fresh cool air with a rested mind. Now that I'm getting almost normal sleep again, even when I have a night call, and I only get 3hr sleep, I still laugh at how insignificant that is, since I know the next night I'll get a full night's rest.

The difference with me is that I always cherished, and protected my sleep. It's the reason I freaked out with a little insomnia (having no clue I was about to be slammed with A LOT of insomnia for my trouble).

I learned from my mom that back in the early 2000's, her doc gave her Diazepam, to help her "anxiety" (which I don't remember she ever having). She told me she took one, and it made her feel like #%@%, so she threw them out. I told her THANK GOD you did that! You have no idea the bullet you dodged!

Sleep is such a gift, I've chased it all of my life, I've used alcohol, Klonopin and Ambien and none of them provided the wonderful, restful and restorative sleep I have now without all of those terrible substances.

I hate the fact that we need it. It steals a 3rd of our life. But it's a necessary evil. And you can't fight biology.

Really appreciate this story- especially the encouragement to not let things on here or facebook scare me. I have always believed that healing is going to happen (fundamentally) but the benzo brain can tell me otherwise. Happy to hear your story and I have noticed alot of improvement in the past week. I am 7 mos and a week off. Sleep does come back and yeah, it’s kinda crappy sleep but it does come back and get better.