Recovered - Have Hope!!

Hello everyone,

 

Wanted to write my success story because it was helpful for me to read them when I was going through the Benzo Hell. Like everyone I thought that it would never end, but after reading and learning everything I could it gave me hope knowing that even extreme cases eventually recover. It is a nightmare to go through this and people will not understand your experience.

 

I have been using Clonazepam for a few years since 2013, sometimes with alcohol and also cocaine but never consistently. In 2015 I started taking it consistently and increasing my doses gradually for about 9 months moving up to heavier doses (1-3 grams) I was also using it with lots of alcohol at times and sometimes with cocaine. At 9 months I just cold turkey'd without realizing the dangers of it. It was the most painful experience of my life. The first month was the worst, but it continued for years. I had most of the symptoms, lots of suicidal ideation, it was very hard to talk to people anymore or look them in the eye, extreme anxiety and panic, I had to reinstate several times and was on/off for the next 3 years. Gradually I got better. After beginning of 2019 I've taken doses only on very rare occasion. I no longer depend on it and feel like myself again completely. I only have some benign neuro discomfort on my right side of the temple and cheekbone, I think it's from clenching my jaw so much during the withdrawal period. I still have some tinnitus, but actually haven't even thought about it until I started writing this and had to check if I still had it, you forget about it after a while. The tinnitus was loud during withdrawal.

 

In a weird way I feel grateful to have gone through this experience, I think this is a very humbling experience and makes you more compassionate having gone through it. And I feel more appreciate of my health now remembering what that felt like. This was my experience with it.

 

Hope you all are well, I have read countless extreme cases on this website and seen on YouTube, read the Ashton Manual, and according to my understanding everyone eventually recovers.

 

What helped me is light exercise, relaxing sounds on YouTube, going to the sauna and taking cold showers (I started doing this when I got to feel a bit better), white noise to help with the tinnitus, being away from people.

 

Much love.

Thanks for sharing. Congrats

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story and giving others hope!

Thanks for sharing, it gives me hope.

Congratulations!  Thank you for sharing.  I agree with your suggestions.  I am getting closer to recovery, again, after this setback.  Wishing you many blessings of joy and love. 

Thank you kiwi, I survived on the success stories too, thank you for thinking about those who will come after you, congratulations on your freedom! 

Thanks and congrats. Can you talk more about sauna use? I am protracted and in bad shape but used to love the steam room at a nearby Korean spa and would love to use it (in alternation with the cold pool) again.

Hello,

 

Yes sure, I can only speak from my experience but I found it really helpful, it relieved a lot of stress, and  my symptoms got better after going. I stayed in the sauna for quite a long time, alternating back and fourth between the sauna and very cold showers. I can't remember exactly how long I waited until I started to do this after the initial cold turkey withdrawal, I think maybe around 6 months. I was used to doing this before doing benzos. Also regular light exercise helped me, even if I felt really bad, I always felt better after some exercise. But if I exercised too hard my symptoms would get worse sometimes.

 

Hope this helps.

Hello Kiwi2,

 

Thanks for posting, it's a great help.

 

IM very happy for you

 

:smitten:

Congratulations and thanks for taking the time to come back and share your story.  Blessings to you!

Thanks for sharing. Congrats

 

 

Appreciate that, thanks!

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story and giving others hope!

 

No problem my pleasure.

 

Thank you kiwi, I survived on the success stories too, thank you for thinking about those who will come after you, congratulations on your freedom! 

 

Yea the success stories are really helpful, thank you for your reply. 

Congratulations!  Thank you for sharing.  I agree with your suggestions.  I am getting closer to recovery, again, after this setback.  Wishing you many blessings of joy and love. 

 

That's great to hear that you're close to recovery, hope you get back to complete normal soon.Thank you for your kind message, wishing you many blessing as well.

Hello Kiwi2,

 

Thanks for posting, it's a great help.

 

IM very happy for you

 

:smitten:

 

Thank you so much, I'm glad the post helped in some small way.

Congratulations and thanks for taking the time to come back and share your story.  Blessings to you!

 

It's my pleasure, thank you for your reply and blessing to you as well.