My retrospective guide out of the Benzo hell hole. Read if you need support !!!

[[Buddie]]

What does one do with physical symptoms.Did you have many of those?  I have burning skin and blood pooling into my feet and have trouble standing because of numbness and balance issues because of the the medications. I am at the end of my taper ( .5 mg of Valium left and bupropion 150 XR to taper last ).
I have been weight training avidly no matter what I have experienced physically and take 4 or 5 walks a day. I have tried to run, but because of my physical symptoms I haven’t been able.
I used to be a personal trainer so I love that stuff and do it no matter what.
Congratulations on getting to a good place in your life.
55 years out of my 61 were amazing. Hoping to transcend this.

❤️‍🩹[...]

[[Buddie]]

Thanks hopefull!  I'm sorry you had to make this nasty discovery just before retirement.

The best thing to do with all of those symptoms is consult your doctor. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Thats what medical proffesionals are for.  That being said I do have some thoughts on the Balance issues.

The balance issues you can probably improve by training them (Physical therapy does this routinely).

Try some of these execises. EDIT: Please be safe and try to do them between two walls, next to a bed or next to the sofa, have a plan in case you fall over. Be safe especially with these type of exercises!

Feet pressed together arms next to your body relaxed, look up and down slowdly, all the way to the ceiling. Maybe try to look as far over your shoulder till you see everything behind you, without moving your feet.
Put your feet on one line, as if dancing on a rope. Don't walk, just stand like this, as if on a tight rope. You can also try to close your eyes or move around, maybe throw a ball in the air.
All of these types of exercises will improve your propriocepcis (awareness off your body) And will help with the coordination of your body in space and in relation to the position of your head.

You can play with the variables or find other balance exercises on yourtube, this will probably alleviate some of the dizziness. Alternatively you can test what provokes the balance problems. If sudden head movements provoke the dizziness you might want to have a look at :  https://www.swbh.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Audiology-Brandt-Daroff-Exercises-ML6446.pdf

Again, ask your doctor! I"m sure they can run the appropriate tests to help you. I did not experience the burning skin, or blood pooling.  I did experience some dizziness that faded over time. This is my personal experience. Get it checked !

[[Buddie]]

Thanks Dias appreciate the suggestions.  I literally [...] out for a walk every day, expose myself to my fears but made little difference. Only on the meltdown days I stay in. It is 100% withdrawal took them for insomnia never had anxiety or depression before. I took minuscule dose even when I took them every night only had about 3 or 4 packets a year. The previous years only took them couple times week, fir insomnia not anxiety.Think it was being forced to [...] CT did the damage. As experienced what I understand is interdose withdrawal when tried cutting out odd days. Seems time is the only healer. I'm older so not really up to cardio and running but agree any exercise is helpful, I walk every day and pretty active, eat healthily, fairly slim. Just wish J'd get a window! But appreciate you trying to help

[[Buddie]]

[...]

Thank you very much for coming back and sharing your story and advice. It gives hope to members to keep fighting the fight.

[[Buddie]]

Wishing you many blessings.   I appreciated you mentioning “setbacks”.  I thought I was about 95% healed and now have had a setback for a few months.   Some days I feel 95% again and other days, I’m not sure if I will ever heal.  I know this is a common theme for those of us going through withdrawal.  I continue to believe this will come to an end.  Success stories like yours continue to give me hope.  I have faith in the process.  Thank you for sharing. 

[[Buddie]]

[...]

Thank you very much for coming back and sharing your story and advice. It gives hope to members to keep fighting the fight.

Thanks I'm just happy to be able to give back. I Remembered how much it helped me to find the BB forum. I thought I was going crazy. At the end of my studies, while having a job too, breaking up with a [...] after 9 years,
while moving to another country and learning a new language. I had complete  dissociative panic attacks every single day. It's only when I found BB buddies that I realised I wasn't going crazy.

For me it's very hard to pinpoint where my withdrawal was over and where the normal me started to come back. 1.5 years, 2 years later I was still not in a good place and still very sensitive to stress. But I was also in a very stressfull position
new country etc. While also not happy with my job at the time. Eventually I changed my job, moved a couple times. And without really realising it I started to notice ' guess what?' I'm feeling pretty F#cking good. Again. Good days and bad days like everybody else, but it's just a very nice feeling to know you can handle what life throws at you. In terms of social situations/ society stresses etc. I dread the day that I will lose loved ones. This is something you can not be prepared for. Although a strong character will help you deal with it better I think.

Now this year I was training for a marathon, but sadly had to pass it up due to a pretty bad fracture. I had to spend a lot of time indoors, this made me realise how easy it is to lose good habits and spiral back down. It made me think back about my darkest times. Of course this pales in comparison and everything else becomes a joke. After my fracture and multiple other injuries, It took me roughly ten minutes to sit up on the couch, walk to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. Couldn't move some parts of my body anymore. All my training for the marathon was all for nothing, I gained 6 kilos. But guess what? After my rodeo with the benzodiazepine,  this was al just a joke, a walk in the park, not a bleep on the radar

Now I'm well on my way to getting back to my marathon weight, consistently exercising and promoting my business. This bad experience truly gave me a lot of resilience and I'm sure it will do the same for every one here that sticks with it and goes through it.
After your worst enemy and biggest fear is IN your BODY. Some external factors are merely a nuisance. 

[[Buddie]]

Wishing you many blessings.   I appreciated you mentioning “setbacks”.  I thought I was about 95% healed and now have had a setback for a few months.   Some days I feel 95% again and other days, I’m not sure if I will ever heal.  I know this is a common theme for those of us going through withdrawal.  I continue to believe this will come to an end.  Success stories like yours continue to give me hope.  I have faith in the process.  Thank you for sharing. 

Hang in there. Trust on getting your fundamentals right, have a solid routine and keep making the right the choices, I'm looking forward to reading your success story.
Just be Gratefull for all the progress you already made and let it be a strength and motivation to keep going on. I"m sure you already made so much progress and you should be proud of this accomplishment!

[[Buddie]]

Thanks hopefull!  I'm sorry you had to make this nasty discovery just before retirement.

The best thing to do with all of those symptoms is consult your doctor. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. Thats what medical proffesionals are for.  That being said I do have some thoughts on the Balance issues.

The balance issues you can probably improve by training them (Physical therapy does this routinely).

Try some of these execises. EDIT: Please be safe and try to do them between two walls, next to a bed or next to the sofa, have a plan in case you fall over. Be safe especially with these type of exercises!

Feet pressed together arms next to your body relaxed, look up and down slowdly, all the way to the ceiling. Maybe try to look as far over your shoulder till you see everything behind you, without moving your feet.
Put your feet on one line, as if dancing on a rope. Don't walk, just stand like this, as if on a tight rope. You can also try to close your eyes or move around, maybe throw a ball in the air.
All of these types of exercises will improve your propriocepcis (awareness off your body) And will help with the coordination of your body in space and in relation to the position of your head.

You can play with the variables or find other balance exercises on yourtube, this will probably alleviate some of the dizziness. Alternatively you can test what provokes the balance problems. If sudden head movements provoke the dizziness you might want to have a look at :  https://www.swbh.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Audiology-Brandt-Daroff-Exercises-ML6446.pdf

Again, ask your doctor! I"m sure they can run the appropriate tests to help you. I did not experience the burning skin, or blood pooling.  I did experience some dizziness that faded over time. This is my personal experience

. Get it checked !

Thanks for the details! Yeah, I do all those things and then some. Luckily, as a lifetime athlete I have endlessly rehabbing every system I can ( Vestibular, Auditory, visual..Proprioception, introception… you name it. I don’t have Heath insurance and don’t have access to a doctor other than my nurse practitioner. She is Benzo wise and feels most of my s/x are withdrawal related and after time in healing. The only thing I have had checked is a brain MRI and blood tests.
I am in contact w/ the best PT’s that have been very generous. I put in the work… I hope it pays off.
Thanks for your suggestions…. Sounds like you are passionate about moment… it is truly the “hope molecule”.

❤️‍🩹[...]


to get these check when I get insurance.

[[Buddie]]

[...]- Thank you for your kind encouraging words.  Sending blessings of joy and love for the rest of your life. 

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for this encouraging  post.  I'm going through a rough time since hitting 7 months off.  Your words are something to hang on to.  I tell myself at least  I'm finally benzo free.