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Grief/death/loss and loss of the med as a support


[Ka...]

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Hello Buddies,

 

I have just lost one of my favorite friends, an important part of my life and someone I was very close to. It is a new experience for me as I've not lost many people, mainly just grandparents and one other close relative over 10 years ago ... and my dog a few years ago.

 

I also saw him, laying somewhat peacefully, soon after he passed away and that was a very big experience for me. He didn't look exactly peaceful, he didn't look like he was there ... an empty body is what he looked like. My friend had gone on and his body was left behind. It was a gift to be able to be with him afterwords. Yet I also feel very heavy hearted and sad and upset and then I get worried about losing others. But, as in my taper, I am using cognitive behavior support type of thoughts about it~telling myself it's one of the most natural parts of life, he did need to go as had been quite sick lately...had a great life. A great well loved man. Why is the ONLY thing we can be sure of, that we'll die, SO scary and confusing and mystifying ... it seems unreal. I am processing.

 

I am also grieving being able to take a pill to sleep but the price I paid for that was too high so the grief is small and the celebration big. This morning I threw my stash away and believe me, I had always kept a stash in case someone I loved died or the world ended and I couldn't get to the pharmacy, haha. Now I must face the issues of loss and fear and death during any sleeplessness--something I used to fear more. So, onward, this is 3 weeks off of Ambien.

 

I will say that overall I'm doing So. Much. Better. off these types of meds!!! So I'm happy.

 

Just wanted to see if others wanted to share about grieving, about losing someone or this theme.

Thank you.

Kachina

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