Author Topic: 11+ months benzofree!  (Read 2035 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2021, 03:54:52 pm »
Very cool and congratulations!
Stay safe.
[...]
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[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2021, 03:58:31 pm »
Tnx [...]. You have an impressive signature!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 7 months benzofree!
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2021, 10:05:18 am »
Yesterday was the 13th of October, but I had a pretty bad day. Today I feel better and today is a day to celebrate because I have not taken a benzo for 7 months!  :clap:

So how am I feeling these days? Most days are good. I am seeing a glimps of my old self again, but I still struggle with muscle and joint pain. I try to rest as much as I can. My head seems normal again. although I still have those 'off-days' where I feel depressed. The tension I had all over is gone I guess. In another post about muscle tension I mentioned that it seems that we [...] from 24-7 panic, to 24-7 anxiety, to 24-7 tension untill finally the tension goes and we feel pain. Muscle, joint and bone pain. I have accepted that this will take some time. My recovery might relapse but I will recover again. I am determined to never taking benzo's again.

These days I'm working on myself and I am finally getting therapy for some issues that I had to adress about growing up. I've read Complex PTSD from Pete Walker and I understand my traumaresponse much better now. I'm a flight-fawn kind of girl. Also a little bit of freeze. Decided I will now read about borderline personality because one of my parents is a borderliner, I believe. I also became a member of the 'Out of the Fog' forum. Have not posted to much yet, but it seems to be a good place for me in this phase of my recovery.

So, yes. Progress. But there is still a lot of work to be done. I have to deconstruct traumaresponses that I relied on for 40+ years. Any anxiety that I felt, that made it hard to sleep, was numbed with benzo's. I can't do that anymore. So it's scary to not be able to take something for my anxiety, and to trust other people want to help me, to open up, but I'm sure I will grow to be a more stable person.

Onward and upward!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 7 months benzofree!
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2021, 10:29:47 am »
Very well done [...].

Im just over the 3 month off mark, but like you re the symptom response, and the muscle pain.
.
Ive also been having therapy, along the mind- body lines (curable app, SIRPA in the UK) - Ive found it so helpful re childhood development responses, impacting today decades later. Tough but Ive come a long way, and am coming to terms with feeling safe with my emotions now. Most people in the west smother their emotions and they get trapped in the body, which for us, is so not helpful. It is worth getting to the other side.

Onwards, and upwards.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 7 months benzofree!
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2021, 03:27:20 pm »
Thanks for your reply [...]. The app sounds helpful, I might look into it later. This week I had a challenging time at work and I needed all my energy to manage that. But I do want to be 'mindful' of my emotions. You are right, we smother them in the west. Some feelings are not allowed. We are not allowed to feel depressed or anxious.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 8 months benzofree!
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2021, 03:41:49 pm »
Today I'm 8 months post. I feel better, but I am also tapering my AD, so I still have bad days. Overall I feel better though.

In another post I saw a lot of updates about muscle tension and joint pain. I remember a month ago I had trouble with my balance and my muscles felt so stiff all the time. Yesterday I was somewhere and I pointed to a small staircase down (like two steps) and said to my boyfriend how hard it was for me to [...] down those steps. Now I guess it's a lot better, but tension is still present.

I realise now getting better will take a lot of time. Yes, I've made a lot of improvement, but I realise I took this stuff for a long time and it will take time. A lot more time. I'm not working at the moment and this makes me scared for the future every now and then. But my body needs the rest. I sleep 10-11 hours a night which is due to the medication I'm still on, but also, I feel my body needs it.

I guess I haven't made as much progress this last month as I wanted to, but recovery isn't a straight line. I know that. I read somewhere that people experience a wave or setback in month nine. Maybe it is because recovery doesn't happen as fast as in the first 6-8 months, but transistions to a much more gradual recovery. I don't know.

Anyway, apart from how I am feeling (maybe not ready to celebrate), I think I should take a moment to realise I have not taken a benzo in 8 months. And that's progress.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 9 months benzofree!
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2022, 02:41:06 pm »
Today marks 9 months without benzo's. And that is something to celebrate! Healing goes on, but I also feel like I am plateauing. I guess it's true. Healing takes years, not months. Looking back to what I could do is frustrating. I'm currently tapering Mirtazapine which is very difficult, because it messes with GABA as well and I feel my symptoms are very similar. I've tapered from 15 mg to 12.8 mg, so I'm down 15%. I do celebrate this, because I feel more clear, less sedated and tired.

I read a desperate post from a fellow-buddie that said: "Of all the people with mental health problems, how many are in fact damaged by psych drugs?" And it really resonated with me. I used to be a sensitive, sane woman who had an occasional bad night..

I'm still doing yin yoga to get more flexible and I started physical therapy twice a week which is making me stronger. Lately I also started learning about the Vagus nerve and how we can regulate our nervous system. I hope this will give me tools to regulate my tension and anxiety more. It's great stuff.
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[Buddie]

Re: 9 months benzofree!
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2022, 04:57:13 pm »
Actually Mirtazepine does not affect GABA receptors:

What receptors does mirtazapine hit?
Receptor binding studies have shown that mirtazapine has a high affinity for serotonin 5-HT2 and 5-HT3 receptors, central and peripheral histamine H1 receptors and a low affinity for 5-HT1, dopaminergic and muscarinic cholinergic receptors.
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[Buddie]

Re: 9 months benzofree!
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2022, 06:51:56 pm »
Actually Mirtazepine does not affect GABA receptors:

Well actually Mirtazapine does increase GABA. I did a google search and on NCBI (ID PMC472639) I found this:

"We treated MeCP2-null mice from postnatal-day 28 for two weeks with desipramine, already tested in RTT, or mirtazapine, an antidepressant with limited side-effects, known to promote GABA release.".

I'm sure there are more references if you search for them. I didn't.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 9 months benzofree!
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2022, 08:45:19 pm »
Whatever was done to mice for 28 days does not apply to humans and unfortunately nothing increases GABA, not Mirtazepine or even GABA supplements, if anything did, you'd have relief or even a cure for Benzo WD.  However there are no shortcuts, Rx drugs or "magic potions" found by Dr. Google that will shorten the amount of time someone is in Benzo WD.

Good luck!


Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.