Author Topic: Almost 6 months benzofree!  (Read 624 times)

[Buddie]

Almost 6 months benzofree!
« on: July 09, 2021, 06:28:08 pm »
Dear buddies,

A few years ago I took Oxazepam (short half life, very common in Europe) for sleep for two months. I used it on and off to sleep before. I noticed in this period that I felt worse in the late afternoon. Like really tense and anxious. I know now this is interdose withdrawal and a warning sign that you are developing dependancy. I tapered relatively quickly and thought that was that. I did not know that after every taper using benzo's again can quickly 'wake' the dependancy again (kindling) and that's why I continued to use it twice a month if I had problems sleeping. I started having longer periods of not sleeping well and used it more frequently then, but never daily. I thought this would keep dependancy in control. I guess I also had rebound insomnia in this period.

Recently I had a lot of stress at work and my anxiety spiked. My doctor immediately gave me some Oxazepam. In no time I began to feel worse. I tried not to take the Oxazepam, but in a few weeks I was taking them daily again and I started to feel worse in late afternoon. I realised the interdose withdrawal was back. I forgot about that! My anxiety started going through the roof and i read about 'kindling' for the first time. I tried to stop CT. This went well at first, but I started again a few days later until I read about kindling and realised that benzo's were definitely making me feel worse. Again. I stopped CT again on the 13th of April. I slept well on the 14th of April, had a bad day the 15th and did not sleep that night at all. I also had a strange nightmare.

After that it got better until I had three sleepless nights in six days starting the 9th of May. I am not sure if this was still withdrawal, but I started a very strict light restricting regime in the evening (even wearing sunglasses) and started taking supplements. Fish oil, a green multi, magnesium, Vit. C and a probiotic. I cut out coffee, alcohol and sugar and started walking an hour a day. My symptoms in this perod where diarrhea (sorry TMI), a strange rash on my back, depression and a lot of tension. I also remember I could not stand sound or moving images on t.v. Even watching Modern Family was to much. And my head felt weird. But I did not take a benzo for sleep and did nothing to fight it and after three sleepless nights in a week, my sleep started to get better.

It's been almost three months since this period and I feel a lot better. I started a AD to help with sleep and mood. I can work a few hours a day now and I started therapy to handle myself better. Also I saw some docs to help with issues after I had Covid twice (presumably) and I am trying to practice deep breathing. I still take supplements. I am not symptom free though. I still have tension. I guess I still have waves but also a lot more windows. Overall I definitely enjoy life again. I still wonder if I really developed dependency in such a short time and if it really was the reason I started feeling worse even though I took time for myself to get some rest. I guess in life you can never be 100% sure, but it def. did not help.

I wish everybody tapering and reading this lots of luck. One day you will write a similar story. Hug!
« Last Edit: October 08, 2021, 11:33:45 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 3 months benzofree!
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2021, 10:36:18 pm »
I developed a dependency after seven weeks of ativan, also a short acting benzo.  I'm seven months off.  Currently in a wave but hanging on.  I know it will get better in time.

I'm glad you're doing better.  [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 3 months benzofree!
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2021, 10:00:41 am »
Tnx [...]. Stay strong and I hope you get a nice window soon!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost x months benzofree!
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2021, 07:46:18 pm »
Tomorrow I'll be 4 months off. Hooray!

I'm still having good and bad days, most days are good though and I can handle the bad days. Remaining symptoms are brain zaps which are very annoying. Also still have tension, especially around my period. Tension and light anxiety are my remaing symptoms. I am currently enjoying a holiday and am eating less healthy, but I am also enjoying myself which is very nice.

I know it will take much more time to recover 100% and my recovery will be much more gradual. My use of benzo's became more and more problematic the last years and I know now that using it intermittently for a longer time does damage as well. I just hope my brain will recover. I've decided to start a daily meditation practice to help my brain and CNS recover.

To anyone who reads this. I wish you health and recovery.  :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 5 months benzofree!
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2021, 03:00:50 pm »
I am almost 5 months benzo-free. Reason I wanted to post today is that my 'weird head stuff' seems to have gone. By 'weird head stuff' I mean like brain zaps, head jolts, head pressure etc. I think a lot of you can relate. I just got my period which is a challenging time in general.

Also, I think the past few years, where I still used benzo's intermittently after I developed dependency (five years ago), I developed some sort of dizzyness. But Wednesday I could use kitchen stairs to hang curtains and I did not feel too dizzy.

I do have the blah's, but that could be just period-related. The past week I had some mild tension and anxiety, again related to the time of the month. I think it was much worse last month. I hope I keep improving.

I guess this is progress.

Until we feel better, we can only guess and hope that what causes us to feel this bad is in fact the benzo withdrawal. But until we really do feel better, I guess we still wonder. I do. But I'm still hopeful I will get back to my old self again. Not there yet.

I wish everybody lots of progress.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2021, 11:50:11 am »
I will be celebrating 6 months benzofree in a few days. I felt like posting an update so here it is.  :)

In my last post (5 months benzofree) I posted that I don't have any head symptoms anymore. It's true and I still don't have it. I did have a rough night but that is probably related to stressful times I am having right now and my period that is coming. I could lay in bed and just accept the fact that I had a bad night. Also I am pretty sure I am definitely entering perimenopause and I am more far along than I thought. I am very irregular.

My remaining symptoms are tension and light anxiety, although it does feel better than a month ago. Sometimes I am still dizzy though. This week I had a massage and it was the best. I felt tense when I entered the salon, but she worked so hard on relaxing my muscles and I had no idea I could still feel this, well, relaxed. It even got rid of the pain in my lower back. I was sure I was having a herniated disk.

It's been two days and the tension is creeping up on me again. I am not 'cured' but I decided though that I am going to treat myself to a massage more often. It's a great way to feel less tense in the eye of a storm. I could not have done this in acute though. That would have been a nightmare.

I am so glad I am still seeing progress even though I am not healed. I want to look into the future, but that is not possible. I hope I continue to heal and I hope everybody who reads this does too!

Keep fighting buddies!  :-*






Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2021, 04:29:25 pm »
Way to [...] . Keep going
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2021, 06:14:40 pm »
Tnx! 😘
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2021, 07:15:09 pm »
I'm happy to hear how well you're doing.  I'm having windows with occasional mild waves.  It feels so good to get my life back at last.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Almost 6 months benzofree!
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2021, 07:23:08 am »
I understand [...], and tnx for your kind words. I hope your mild waves [...] away as well soon!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.