Author Topic: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free  (Read 5037 times)

[Buddie]

Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« on: June 28, 2021, 01:07:49 pm »
Itís been four years today since I ended a rapid taper from Clonazepam. It makes me sad to think back on the horrors I went through. It truly was hell. I am PROUD to say now that I have moved on with my life. I donít come around BB anymore because itís just hard to relive it. Iím posting this success story as a way of moving on and also to give hope to others. I remember frantically reading story after story just to get a few seconds of peace and hope. With this, I hope to give back and help anyone going through this mess.

Iím not going to get too detailed, but it took me a few years to get back to what I consider Ďnormalí. The first year was straight hell. After that, the progress began for me. It moved so slowly that it was hard to really tell. I thought for sure, I had permanent damage, but I am here to say that it was not permanent. Iím fine. I go out, go to the gym, enjoy socializing, play a round of golf per week and somehow maintained my marriage and job through this ordeal. Iíve come out on the other side.

I was a relatively short term user. Around a year I think. I was over prescribed by a doctor and I was just naÔve at what I was getting into. Iíve always struggled with sleep. Itís just hard for me to settle my thoughts some nights. When I took the first benzo to sleep, I thought it was amazing. Wow! No more insomnia!.....Like I said, NaÔve. After months of use, I started to encounter the fog and my intellectual capacity was declining rapidly. I visited my Dr. and said I want off. According to him, it was as easy as a 2-week taper. Well, that turned out to be bullshit. I think I stretched it out to a month long taper and that put me into a tailspin. I had just about every symptom people talk about here. Early on, the most prevalent were extreme insomnia, stomach pains, anxiety, depression, and depersonalization. The longest lasting symptom was depersonalization. I spent several years with no concept of time or place, with a dash of not feeling, connecting and just emotionless. Wouldnít wish that shit on anyone. Iím fine now. All of that is gone.

Some things to avoid:
Alcohol. Its common knowledge here, but itís true. I had a 4-5 month setback from having two beers one night. Donít drink until you are better. I can drink now and I donít get any negative rebound or issues from alcohol.

Use BB in the beginning to figure out that you are not crazy and not alone. After that, take breaks. Use it sparingly. Eventually taking longer and longer breaks until you no longer come here. Itís a double edged sword. Its good in a way, but also it can create fear and obsessiveness.

Things that helped me:

Early on, I spoke to a counselor once a week. It took a few different counselors before I found one that fit. She didnít think I was crazy and just listened to me rant about how I thought this was permanent and she reassured me that it was not. Really, it just gave my wife a break of listening to my shit, so I paid this [...] to listen. Haha

Exercise. I cannot stress enough how much exercise and eating healthy will help you. Do it when you can and stick to it. Mostly, my windows came during or as a result of exercise.

Learn something new. I started playing the guitar during this and that helped me to escape and also helped me realize I could learn a new skill and that I was not beyond repair. I 100% believe that withdrawal depatterns some neural pathways. Recovery is sort of a chance to rebuild those pathways. Learn something new, get into a routine, and look at this process as a second chance to form your adult mentality.
 
Marijuana. I hadnít smoked in years, and decided to give it a try. Weed helped me sleep, and allowed my brain to just relax. I highly recommend MMJ in recovery. I also started playing video games. Hadn't played them since college, but it became a great escape...in moderation.

To those of you in the thick of it, just know this all goes away. You will feel better. You will get better. I donít come around here often so if I donít respond to you, please do not take it personally. Peace.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2021, 01:37:52 pm »
Thank you for sharing.  Giving hope to those of us who have lingering symptoms after a setback.  Wishing you joy, peace and love for your life.   :-*
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2021, 02:00:29 pm »
Thank you for your post, [...].

I got a lot of comfort from reading it. Your suggestions are really interesting and it is so comforting to know that the ruthlessness of obsessive thinking has lifted. 


[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2021, 03:12:59 pm »
We're so grateful you came back to write your success story, you know how important they are, they were my lifeline too.  Thank you for outlining what helped and what didn't, I agree with everything you mentioned.

Well done and thank you, you've helped many today.  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2021, 03:17:33 pm »
What a wonderful Success Story, thank you so much for coming back and posting it. Our members need these reassurances that withdrawal is not permanent and that a return to a normal life is possible. 

Enjoy your benzo free life of wellness, my congratulations to you.

[...]  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2021, 09:30:37 pm »
[...], thanks for posting.  I'm about 17 months off myself right now and am struggling after a couple weeks of feeling decent.  Stories like yours help me to keep hope and keep going. 

Max
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2021, 10:06:15 pm »
Hey Max. I remember many waves and windows. I can personally say that itís true what is commonly said here, the waves get shorter and the windows get longer. Thatís the big picture but while in the middle of it all, it just seems to never progress all that much. Iím here to say that it does get better so hang in there.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2021, 10:47:14 pm »
I am only 7 weeks into my taper but I already want it to be over. I appreciate your post and affirmation that it does get better. Thank you for thinking  of us and coming back to post.

My best to you! Enjoy your healed life!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2021, 11:28:38 pm »
Thank you so much for this and Iím glad this is all behind you. Can you explain how your DPDR and numbness left?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Its been 4 years now....I've been set free
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2021, 11:39:59 pm »
Thanks for sharing. How long did it take for you to heal completely?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.