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12-24 months and up support group


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leann, your mom and mine were both mentally ill for not loving us they should have.  Plus, your mom was on tons of meds when she died.  How could she have been in her right mind?
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She was a nasty nasty woman, I'm glad she's gone. Finally trying forget my family,just wish I would recover bit quicker, am realising need to try avoid anymore stress makes such difference to your recovery. Hope your are doing OK Becks.
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My mom died on May 1 of this year and it didn't affect me at all.  I didn't cry or grieve.  I considered her like a person I met and didn't like and quit associating with.  She was like meeting an abuser on the street and relieved I'm away from her.  I pray when I die I won't see her wherever I end up. 
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My mom died on May 1 of this year and it didn't affect me at all.  I didn't cry or grieve.  I considered her like a person I met and didn't like and quit associating with.  She was like meeting an abuser on the street and relieved I'm away from her.  I pray when I die I won't see her wherever I end up.

 

Oh Becks.  I’m

Thinking of you. Big hug to you

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She was a nasty nasty woman, I'm glad she's gone. Finally trying forget my family,just wish I would recover bit quicker, am realising need to try avoid anymore stress makes such difference to your recovery. Hope your are doing OK Becks.

 

Leann I know you probably don’t feel this way - but you are healing - your writing, your language is changing.  You are raking steps towards being healed - I know it doesn’t look like you thought it would or the way it should - but reading your lists now - there is more hope I’m then. Your brain is indeed healing xxx

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Yes just improvement so slow doesn't really feel like it. Feel much better sorted things with my son. Am managing to do more my Pilates classes started up again after 18 months managing get to y

those.  I do think the supplements are helping just need improve bit quicker!

Becks our mothers were both nasty people, you sound like a really good person sure you will never meet up with your mother again don't worry xx

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Hello everyone! Sorry about my absence I needed to take some me time with these waves crashing on me several times a day and night. I’m thinking of you still. Becks, Jben Garden Leann Bess Deanna and whoever I missed know that I’ve been wondering how y’all are doing. What’s new? What’s better? What’s worse? What’s positive? Etc.

Me… I’m walking outside a little in between my waves. Just riding them out as they come. Sit on my patio when I can and waiting on my complete healing. I wake each day with hope that today will be the day to be completely healed. That day is coming closer with each wave. Waves are shorter and less intense. Windows are better quality. I’m watching Netflix series Reign. Pretty good distraction! I haven’t been back riding in the car again yet. Waves started coming closer together. Lol sounds like labor!!! But I’m hoping to start trying to drive in about another week or so. Just waiting on things to settle back down. Tomorrow I’m 15 months! Wooohoooo!!!

Love y’all

Got to go my New Orleans Saints are playing!

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Well hello LadyDen.  Thanks for checking in.  Sounds like you are doing a tiny bit better.  This is taking a really long time isnt it.  We are healing.  Shorter, less intense waves are a good sign indeed.

 

Im doing so-so.  Thought I would be done by now but here I am still in wave after wave.  Mine too are a bit better and I can take naps now which helps a lot!

 

I found Ted Lasso on apple tv and loving it.  Just finished white lotus, 9 strangers and lucifer.  I have not yet checked out reign.

 

I didnt realize you were from Louisiana.  My whole entire family lives there - except me.  I am the black sheep California-boy lol. 

 

Go Saints!

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Hello EVERYONE!!!

 

Sorry it has been a while since I've been around.  I took a break from BB not for any reason of being triggered or anything but I wanted to see if I could break my newest favorite "habit" and I am happy to report that while I've kept busy I still thought about ALL of you, my dearest BB friends!  I've missed you!

 

As summer is officially over I've been busying myself with freshening up my home for the upcoming cooler weather.  Hopefully it comes soon as the humidity here in Richmond is really getting to me.  My brother's family came to visit over Labor Day WE and I did OK with all the increased activity and socialization.  That led me to just get on with life.  I was in a nice improved "baseline" during which I felt mostly well although I still had symptoms (tinnitus, occasional insomnia, wandering nerve pain, etc) which now seem to be a whisper of what they once were.  Well after about 3 weeks of this blissful "betterness" I started to feel unwell again probably due to overdoing things physically.  I tried to do some exercise Sunday and by Monday night I was feeling the ramifications.  Alas, more time is needed.  The intolerance to physical activity is so limiting.

 

Congrats LadyDen on 15 months!! I'm right behind you as always...

Becks and Leann - I hope you are doing better - I'll read around to see how everyone is doing  :smitten:

 

 

 

 

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Hope you are all doing OK. Still plodding on. Feel exhausted all the time at the moment, just hoping it's the emotional stress over last 6 months or so  making me feel knackered. I did briefly try Bach flower remedy for few days but seemed make intrusive thoughts even worse. Guess you never know until you try these things. Weather lovely here at moment making most of it while it lasts. Energy prices here set to go through roof, and shortage of haulage drivers making people panic buy petrol so all bit gloom & doom. Just wish I was well enough go away for few days, hopefully next year😄
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Well hello LadyDen.  Thanks for checking in.  Sounds like you are doing a tiny bit better.  This is taking a really long time isnt it.  We are healing.  Shorter, less intense waves are a good sign indeed.

 

Im doing so-so.  Thought I would be done by now but here I am still in wave after wave.  Mine too are a bit better and I can take naps now which helps a lot!

 

I found Ted Lasso on apple tv and loving it.  Just finished white lotus, 9 strangers and lucifer.  I have not yet checked out reign.

 

I didnt realize you were from Louisiana.  My whole entire family lives there - except me.  I am the black sheep California-boy lol. 

 

Go Saints!

Hey there! Yes I thought I’d be over this by now as well. It’s crazy how long this takes. I don’t know of any other medication that does this to people! But I keep taking one day at a time. Good to hear that yours are improving too. I’ve heard about fellow BBs waking up completely healed. Wow I’d love for that to happen….ummmmm tomorrow would be nice  :laugh:

Yes I’m from Louisiana. How long have you lived in CA? How often do you go home to visit?

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My BIL and one sister who I love very much live in Shreveport.

Shreveport is nice. There’s a great boardwalk there with shops and restaurants etc. Do you ever go visit them?

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Hello EVERYONE!!!

 

Sorry it has been a while since I've been around.  I took a break from BB not for any reason of being triggered or anything but I wanted to see if I could break my newest favorite "habit" and I am happy to report that while I've kept busy I still thought about ALL of you, my dearest BB friends!  I've missed you!

 

As summer is officially over I've been busying myself with freshening up my home for the upcoming cooler weather.  Hopefully it comes soon as the humidity here in Richmond is really getting to me.  My brother's family came to visit over Labor Day WE and I did OK with all the increased activity and socialization.  That led me to just get on with life.  I was in a nice improved "baseline" during which I felt mostly well although I still had symptoms (tinnitus, occasional insomnia, wandering nerve pain, etc) which now seem to be a whisper of what they once were.  Well after about 3 weeks of this blissful "betterness" I started to feel unwell again probably due to overdoing things physically.  I tried to do some exercise Sunday and by Monday night I was feeling the ramifications.  Alas, more time is needed.  The intolerance to physical activity is so limiting.

 

Congrats LadyDen on 15 months!! I'm right behind you as always...

Becks and Leann - I hope you are doing better - I'll read around to see how everyone is doing  :smitten:

Wonderful to hear from you! I’m relieved to hear that you’re ok. I’m the same as you if I press the issue to just live normal doing normal things then I pay for it with intense waves. Right now it’s simple short walks that rev me up. Absolutely ridiculous! Not jogging or even walking fast at all. Crazy! Thanks for the congrats. I’m cheering you on. I also was breaking my habit of being on here too much too long. So every couple of days I’ll be absent from here. To focus on doing things again. I also miss and think of y’all everyday. Love y’all very much.

Early congrats on your milestone Deanna! You’re awesome! Keep trailing right behind me not looking back.

I’m loving this cooler weather. Fall is my favorite season. It’s not too hot not too cold and beautiful leaves falling like colored rain. I’m doing all I can to walk more so I can enjoy it! Damn you waves and exercise intolerance!!!  :laugh:

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Hope you are all doing OK. Still plodding on. Feel exhausted all the time at the moment, just hoping it's the emotional stress over last 6 months or so  making me feel knackered. I did briefly try Bach flower remedy for few days but seemed make intrusive thoughts even worse. Guess you never know until you try these things. Weather lovely here at moment making most of it while it lasts. Energy prices here set to go through roof, and shortage of haulage drivers making people panic buy petrol so all bit gloom & doom. Just wish I was well enough go away for few days, hopefully next year😄

Leann a short vacation sounds good! Where would you want to go? Yes people are panicking over everything now. And you can’t blame them being in a pandemic. But they go overboard for sure. Sounds like you’re doing better mentally. Im so happy to see this. Hugs!

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Well hello LadyDen.  Thanks for checking in.  Sounds like you are doing a tiny bit better.  This is taking a really long time isnt it.  We are healing.  Shorter, less intense waves are a good sign indeed.

 

Im doing so-so.  Thought I would be done by now but here I am still in wave after wave.  Mine too are a bit better and I can take naps now which helps a lot!

 

I found Ted Lasso on apple tv and loving it.  Just finished white lotus, 9 strangers and lucifer.  I have not yet checked out reign.

 

I didnt realize you were from Louisiana.  My whole entire family lives there - except me.  I am the black sheep California-boy lol. 

 

Go Saints!

Hey there! Yes I thought I’d be over this by now as well. It’s crazy how long this takes. I don’t know of any other medication that does this to people! But I keep taking one day at a time. Good to hear that yours are improving too. I’ve heard about fellow BBs waking up completely healed. Wow I’d love for that to happen….ummmmm tomorrow would be nice  :laugh:

Yes I’m from Louisiana. How long have you lived in CA? How often do you go home to visit?

 

I’ve lived in CA most of my life.  Grew up in NO but they now live west of there in a town called Lafayette.  They seem to really like the small town university feel of it.  I get to see them 2-3 times a year.  The humidity is a bit much for me haha.

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Hope you are all doing OK. Still plodding on. Feel exhausted all the time at the moment, just hoping it's the emotional stress over last 6 months or so  making me feel knackered. I did briefly try Bach flower remedy for few days but seemed make intrusive thoughts even worse. Guess you never know until you try these things. Weather lovely here at moment making most of it while it lasts. Energy prices here set to go through roof, and shortage of haulage drivers making people panic buy petrol so all bit gloom & doom. Just wish I was well enough go away for few days, hopefully next year😄

Leann a short vacation sounds good! Where would you want to go? Yes people are panicking over everything now. And you can’t blame them being in a pandemic. But they go overboard for sure. Sounds like you’re doing better mentally. Im so happy to see this. Hugs!

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When was feeling bit  better had booked cruise to Norway next year. Not sure if I will make it there, I can postpone in January for a year if still not recovered. Have levelled out bit still up and down, just wish I had some control over my stupid brain. Got my son & wife over for barbecue tomo be good distraction. All crazy here with Brexit lit of the Lorry drivers went home to Eastern Europe and English people won't work for the same wages.  Are you still managing to get out a bit?

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Hello EVERYONE!!!

 

Sorry it has been a while since I've been around.  I took a break from BB not for any reason of being triggered or anything but I wanted to see if I could break my newest favorite "habit" and I am happy to report that while I've kept busy I still thought about ALL of you, my dearest BB friends!  I've missed you!

 

As summer is officially over I've been busying myself with freshening up my home for the upcoming cooler weather.  Hopefully it comes soon as the humidity here in Richmond is really getting to me.  My brother's family came to visit over Labor Day WE and I did OK with all the increased activity and socialization.  That led me to just get on with life.  I was in a nice improved "baseline" during which I felt mostly well although I still had symptoms (tinnitus, occasional insomnia, wandering nerve pain, etc) which now seem to be a whisper of what they once were.  Well after about 3 weeks of this blissful "betterness" I started to feel unwell again probably due to overdoing things physically.  I tried to do some exercise Sunday and by Monday night I was feeling the ramifications.  Alas, more time is needed.  The intolerance to physical activity is so limiting.

 

Congrats LadyDen on 15 months!! I'm right behind you as always...

Becks and Leann - I hope you are doing better - I'll read around to see how everyone is doing  :smitten:

Wonderful to hear from you! I’m relieved to hear that you’re ok. I’m the same as you if I press the issue to just live normal doing normal things then I pay for it with intense waves. Right now it’s simple short walks that rev me up. Absolutely ridiculous! Not jogging or even walking fast at all. Crazy! Thanks for the congrats. I’m cheering you on. I also was breaking my habit of being on here too much too long. So every couple of days I’ll be absent from here. To focus on doing things again. I also miss and think of y’all everyday. Love y’all very much.

Early congrats on your milestone Deanna! You’re awesome! Keep trailing right behind me not looking back.

I’m loving this cooler weather. Fall is my favorite season. It’s not too hot not too cold and beautiful leaves falling like colored rain. I’m doing all I can to walk more so I can enjoy it! Damn you waves and exercise intolerance!!!  :laugh:

 

Hey LadyD, I find the SAME thing! Short calm walks end up biting me in the you-know-what.  Crazy bc I can do the same amount of steps spaced out during the day and it's OK.  Something about how I walk outside maybe?  Well I figure we have to just keep trying bc I know as soon as I can get back to exercising healing can't be too far behind.

 

I decided to try and hang wallpaper in my closet.  I was very tenuous about it - all the up and down on the ladder, but I took my time and rested in between each sheet.  Took a couple days and I'm a bit sore but it's a normal soreness.  Today I will rest and wait for the wave ( or hopefully NOT!!)

 

Today is refreshingly crisp.  Going to sit in the sun and get my vitamin D!

Hang in there everybody!! 

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Yes Deanna. It’s the same with me. I walk around in the house all day and it’s not a problem but when I do it outside then I have uptick in symptoms and most of the time it triggers a wave. How weird is that! 😆 yes we’ve got to keep trying. Once we break through that then we’ll be making gains!  :thumbsup:

Glad to hear you’re able to hang wallpaper. Very smart to do it in short spurts. Good to hear from you. Keep me posted on how you are.

 

Leann you have to do what you can. If you’re not up to going anywhere then that’s ok. Only you know what you can do. Hugs!

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Hi.

15 almost 16 months out from a one year dry cut taper from 5 mg./day Valium. Jumped at .5 mg cuz I couldn’t cut any smaller and it was just too much trouble. My year taper included cancer diagnosis and treatment and the tragic death of my baby granddaughter during the pandemic. Many of you will know what I mean when I tell you that the brain injury from and tapering off of benzos still seems to be the most difficult experience of this life (69 yo). I never experienced relief from my “anxiety” using either Ativan or Valium and had breakthrough withdrawal after only 3 weeks of usage.

Nearly 16 months post-taper I am sleeping around 7 hours a night (was 3/4), morning cortisol surges are almost gone, anxiety is handled with CBT/meditation, eating healthy, working again part time. Need to work at more exercise for sure. It took many months to actually “feel better” but it happened and I’m healing more every day. Fear of everything has been the hardest to overcome but it’s better every day. I wish healing for all and applaud the collective courage and fortitude we have shown.

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Good Monday Morning Fellow Benzo Buddies!  Just checking in to find out The Who, What, When, and Why as we begin another week of healing. Hi Deanna and LadyDen, I am also finding that I do just fine with going up and down steps in my home of four levels, but put me outside on a nature trail, and I feel very “wavy” afterwards.  Not fair as here in Virginia autumn is beginning its show of many colors, and even from my bed today I can appreciate the reds, golds, and yellows!  Autumn is my favorite time of the year with cooler daytime temps and crisp evenings to enjoy outside without the pesky, biting mosquitos!!!!

 

I just had a lovely two week window, which has dissolved into a now seven day wave, brought on by a major intake of popcorn at a winery last Sunday.  No alcohol, of course,  but the obscene amount of popcorn has definitely upset my GI system, which in turn, has upset my entire CNS.  This has happened once before and I swore off popcorn forever, BUT, the winery was so lovely and the popcorn looked and smelled so delicious, and I was feeling so wonderful, that I gave in and am now suffering the consequences.  My doctor says he sees a distinct pattern with my BWD:  me in a good window when I eat badly and overdo, then a few days later begin with GI issues, headaches, and the fluish ick feeling.  No more popcorn for sure!  Now on gluten free diet, and less carbs and more protein!!!!

 

Enough about me!  How are you?  Please share as I really do care😊

 

Hugs,

 

GG

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P. S.  LadyDen, thank you for the heads-up on the Netflix series, Reign.  I was pretty much bed bound yesterday so started watching it, and am inclined to continue on with it.  Wow, I didn’t recognize Megan Follows from Anne of Green Gables, and why would I, as she is now 53 years of age.

 

The costumes and sets are lovely......and the men in their breeches are pretty good eye candy....almost made my headache go away, and sure increased my heart rate!!!!

 

Hugs,

 

GG

 

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Hi.

15 almost 16 months out from a one year dry cut taper from 5 mg./day Valium. Jumped at .5 mg cuz I couldn’t cut any smaller and it was just too much trouble. My year taper included cancer diagnosis and treatment and the tragic death of my baby granddaughter during the pandemic. Many of you will know what I mean when I tell you that the brain injury from and tapering off of benzos still seems to be the most difficult experience of this life (69 yo). I never experienced relief from my “anxiety” using either Ativan or Valium and had breakthrough withdrawal after only 3 weeks of usage.

Nearly 16 months post-taper I am sleeping around 7 hours a night (was 3/4), morning cortisol surges are almost gone, anxiety is handled with CBT/meditation, eating healthy, working again part time. Need to work at more exercise for sure. It took many months to actually “feel better” but it happened and I’m healing more every day. Fear of everything has been the hardest to overcome but it’s better every day. I wish healing for all and applaud the collective courage and fortitude we have shown.

Hello Belle and welcome! It sounds like you’ve been through so much. First please accept my condolences on the death of your baby grandchild. I know how hard that is to lose a kid. I lost my god daughter when she was 3 right before the hurricane katrina came. I’m still to this day have my moments about it.

Also congratulations on your tapering and 15 to 16 months. It’s great to hear you’re seeing progress, can work a job and enjoying what you can. I don’t see any reason why you won’t continue to heal. Thank you for your healing wishes. And I wish you the same.

Over the weekend I’m hit with big waves occurring back to back. They’ve brought back my severe boatiness. I’m not happy about it because I was making progress walking and was out of this bed most of the day. I really hate the three steps forward two steps back of this recovery process. But I know if I got to having windows before then they’ll come again. I’m praying it’s soon.

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Good Monday Morning Fellow Benzo Buddies!  Just checking in to find out The Who, What, When, and Why as we begin another week of healing. Hi Deanna and LadyDen, I am also finding that I do just fine with going up and down steps in my home of four levels, but put me outside on a nature trail, and I feel very “wavy” afterwards.  Not fair as here in Virginia autumn is beginning its show of many colors, and even from my bed today I can appreciate the reds, golds, and yellows!  Autumn is my favorite time of the year with cooler daytime temps and crisp evenings to enjoy outside without the pesky, biting mosquitos!!!!

 

I just had a lovely two week window, which has dissolved into a now seven day wave, brought on by a major intake of popcorn at a winery last Sunday.  No alcohol, of course,  but the obscene amount of popcorn has definitely upset my GI system, which in turn, has upset my entire CNS.  This has happened once before and I swore off popcorn forever, BUT, the winery was so lovely and the popcorn looked and smelled so delicious, and I was feeling so wonderful, that I gave in and am now suffering the consequences.  My doctor says he sees a distinct pattern with my BWD:  me in a good window when I eat badly and overdo, then a few days later begin with GI issues, headaches, and the fluish ick feeling.  No more popcorn for sure!  Now on gluten free diet, and less carbs and more protein!!!!

 

Enough about me!  How are you?  Please share as I really do care😊

 

Hugs,

 

GG

Hugs Garden! How are you lovely lady? Yes this happened to me too. When I do walk outside afterwards I’m wavy ( boatiness increases for about an hour or so). I lay down until it settles again. This Saturday I was hit with sudden episode of spinning then a big wave followed. My boatiness isn’t back every since. The past couple of weeks it was barely noticeable unless I went walking. Now it’s constant again. Ohhhhh how I hate this up and down recovery! I’m not happy about being back in this bed most of the day AGAIN! Hopefully it will be short lived.

Sounds like poocorn is not your friend  :laugh: it’s good that you recognize it. Smelling it for sure makes it hard to resist. But I know you’ll steer clear some how lol.

As always it’s great hearing from you.

These waves kicking my butt! Glad my Saints won on Sunday! Do you watch football?

 

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