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12-24 months and up support group


[La...]

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Hello everyone! I was searching for the group that's 1 year to 2 year but couldn't find one except in the archives. The last one posted was in 2019. I've seen a few of us that has hit our 1 year milestone and there are a few that's coming up in a month or 2. So I decided to start a new one. I'm sure we'll be able to share our ups and downs as we press forward to making another year. Hopefully this will be our last upcoming months of suffering. I'm looking forward to chatting with you. Congrats to me and all of you for making to our very challenging first year!

Currently I'm still experiencing a list of symptoms battling me in a rapid cycling way. I had a little over a month without the magnet pulling and intense boatiness. Right before my one year milestone, it came crashing back down on me. I made 1 year June 20th ( Father's Day). I'm hanging on to hope that it will go away again soon. I know it will because it has done it before. But I will say that this time I have noticed that it's less intense. I mentally embrace my symptoms as my brain being hard at work to make me whole again. Having said that, please tell us how many months you are free and what symptoms you're having still? Also you can include which ones are gone or nearly gone? Which symptoms you have now that is making things the most challenging? For me, it's my long time "friend" boaty pulling. It's robbing me of riding in the car, washing my hair and anything that requires bending down. Funny thing is when I sit on the toilet, it increases immediately. How weird is that?

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I'm in.Currently 15 months off and anxiety is sky high again.It is the only symptom I seem to be dealing with as per now.

Mornings being the worst with it..

Was feeling better then anxiety started at 15 months again.

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Hi Brex I had mild anxiety before my taper and toward the end. Now it's come back around but worse. I'm 1 year. I thought that symptom was long gone. This recovery is sooooooo surprisingly unpredictable. Also soooooooo difficult to deal with but you know what? This means we are very strong to endure it. Even enduring it for one week or month takes such strength. So those who cave and reinstate, I don't judge them. I applaud their effort.

Today I woke up with tense head pressure and a whopper of a headache. It's late evening here in the USA and it's still pounding. Very weird headache. I've had this early in acute. It's been gone for months. Now it's back. This must be so major fine tuning our brains are doing.

I hope my and your anxiety take a hike soon. I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. Does anything help you?

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Hi Brex I had mild anxiety before my taper and toward the end. Now it's come back around but worse. I'm 1 year. I thought that symptom was long gone. This recovery is sooooooo surprisingly unpredictable. Also soooooooo difficult to deal with but you know what? This means we are very strong to endure it. Even enduring it for one week or month takes such strength. So those who cave and reinstate, I don't judge them. I applaud their effort.

Today I woke up with tense head pressure and a whopper of a headache. It's late evening here in the USA and it's still pounding. Very weird headache. I've had this early in acute. It's been gone for months. Now it's back. This must be so major fine tuning our brains are doing.

I hope my and your anxiety take a hike soon. I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. Does anything help you?

I also tend to believe much healing happens after a hard wave because after I feel alot better.

With anxiety I find exercise and distraction helps.

So sorry about the head stuff I can relate....

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Yes I'm distracting like crazy. Lol Netflix is my best friend. Anne with an E is pretty good. So is Grace and Frankie.  :thumbsup:
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Sure Leann. Welcome aboard! Isn't this recovery journey funny like that? Symptoms that have been gone for months pop back in. I know IBS sucks. Please drink plenty of fluids.

No I haven't gone to my place yet. But hopefully soon.

Feel better soon.

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Well here I am at 23 months.  I function and do all I can as I have to.  I have a handful of sx that never stop physically and mental that doesn’t either.  In another month because of the stress I am under I will be making decisions with my doctor on how to proceed.  Unless I feel substantially better.  I hope others who are moving forward and healing jump in to leave hope
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Leann, I know the mental stuff is just as debilitating. I have great hope this will go away for you soon. Stay positive and stay away from stress that's within your control. Yes I've been tested for meinier and no I don't have it. ALL of my symptoms are Ambien withdrawal. Time is all of our friend.  :thumbsup:

Upperleft welcome to this thread. I'm sure like all of us, you've had a rough journey so far but 23 months is outstanding! I'm proud of you. I'm not sure of your meaning about seeing your doctor in a month to discuss where you're at in your recovery. Are you meaning discussing putting you on medication? Reinstating? If you don't mind, I'd like to say in my opinion I feel that you just need more time to heal. I know you're almost 2 years and you're probably tired of the symptoms you have left. But I'd like to encourage you to endure them for just awhile longer. Each person healing is unique because they're unique. Healing also takes into account the sex of the person, injury sustained, the age, the makeup of the brain, chemical and hormones, etc So it is likely that you need more time. If you've kept a log of your journey please go back to look at how far you've come. I sometimes have to do this when waves hit me. Symptoms have a way of making us feel like we're never going to heal past where we are now. But the funny thing is when I look back at 6 months ago I said the same thing and have many symptoms gone since then. Lol I'm wishing you continued healing. You'll get there my friend, don't listen to those negative thoughts.  :thumbsup:

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I am joining this group of strong warriors now that I am at 15 months and one week in my post-withdrawal journey.  I feel like I am now in stage 3 of the 4 phases of the benzo withdrawal process, as I seem to bring on waves based on what I eat and when I overdue with exercise, gardening, and household chores.  My burning brain and head pressure have been my worst symptoms from the get go, with pop-ups of the dreaded benzo flu, usually if I overdue when in a window!  My headaches and burning brain symptoms can totally disappear for a week or two, and then come back to haunt me.  If I wake up with a head symptom, it may fade out as the day goes on, but like today it started out upon arising, then faded out, then reappeared with a vengeance after I fell asleep during a thunderstorm.  Now it is on fire :tickedoff:  My GP and neurologist assure me the head symptoms are related to nerve endings under the scalp regenerating/reconnecting/regrowing.  I have never had many mental symptoms, except in the first couple of months I had a few anxiety attacks, which I worked through with some of the breathing exercises.

 

In a very strange way I have felt more mentally alert since my benzo journey began, and score well on all sorts of trivia quizzes.....this is not to brag, but it does seem as if something is making my brain more keen and focused.  Maybe the buzzing is creating a certain current that sharpens a certain part of my head? :thumbsup:

 

So, I am with all of you in hoping and praying that we all get to the finish line ASAP :smitten: :smitten:

 

Hugs to all,

 

GG

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I am jumping on board this healing train as I am in month 12 now!  I feel grateful for the healing I have experienced thus far.  Def still have symptoms, but they are less intense and I can function.  I am always amazed that the symptoms morph and change and now my persistent left lower back pain/sciatica has morphed into a highly annoying "achy left leg"....so weird!!

 

Here's to us!!!  Let's do this!!

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Did anyone go through a period when you almost felt like progress had been chemically "blocked". Some things have eased, the OCD and mental stuff always there, but not as extreme most days, but never get a window. Depression and crying mainly glone, but almost feel like I can't move any further forward. Did anyone else go through this?
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Welcome aboard, Deanna! Hoping this will be a good year for us all in our healing.  :thumbsup: Congrats on making 1 year sweetie!

Leann, I've gone through times when I felt I wasn't making any progress. Good thing I kept a journal. I went back and saw that I was healing in the background. I think this is the case for you although you may not see it at first glance. Remember that if you're feeling it, it's healing something. Try not to worry and keep distracting yourself.

Also to everyone on here, benzos make us have intrusive thoughts, worries and fears. These are symptoms just as much as the physical ones. Unfortunately those manifest in negativity. Fight them

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Just frustrating as in myself feel lot better, just the intrusive thoughts resulting in the OCD type symptoms. When it's just one thing like Shayna and the insomnia stopping you getting your life back you get so frustrated. Think lot of truth that's it's almost chemical damage that has repair itself. Get mad with our goverment as well we're going to singalong outdoor cinema but not allowed to sing, but football supporters been allowed to group together in their thousands last few weeks singing & hugging no one says a word! You  are very stoical can't imagine being bedridden for so long and not getting depressed. You obviously have lot inner strength.
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Leann that was so sweet of you to give me a compliment. You know what sweetie? If I give in to negative thoughts I honestly wouldn't be here right now. I know this isn't a religious thread but I must give credit where credit is due....God gave me HIS strength to endure. No way I could be in the bed for 2 years straight with huge waves and not be depressed or go mad. I'm not going to lie, Leann, there was many mornings that I was surprised that I woke up. I know you've tried everything you can. You are strong too!

Maybe you can try this: get a notebook write the day's date at the top. On the left side write against me and on the right side write for me. Each thought you have that is negative write it on the against me side. Every good thought write it on the for me side. At the end of the day look at both sides and reflect. Then examine the for me side again before you go to sleep. Do this everyday. This may help train your brain to stop those thoughts from becoming overwhelming. It works by making you more aware of them. Each against me thought give it a rebuttal. For example if your thought is "I'm so unhappy being like this" IMMEDIATELY write it down and give it a punch back by saying " yes this is tough but I can still do things that make me happy" Then go do something simple that brings you joy. It might be simply looking out the window at the birds playing or going outside closing your eyes listening to the birds. After doing it say " I'm happier now!"

:thumbsup:

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I'll give it a try. I think when people have a strong faith it can be a real help. I'm not particularly religious but when my husband was really ill in hospital went I to church , they mentioned him in prayers and found it very comforting. I know in lot ways I'm  in better head space, just wish the flaming thoughts would ease up. Hope your dizzy spells soon ease up anyway x
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Wow Leann! That may be your answer to help with your symptoms. Why don't you listen to spiritual music, read the bible and meditate on what you read, listen to a YouTube church session and talk to God when your thoughts come. You said it helped when your husband was ill. Right? There's no reason it won't help you now.  :thumbsup: You don't have to be religious to do that. I think it will bring you some peace of mind.
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Thanks Ladyden

 

I have sx 24-7 although not as severe as they were 6 months ago.  I am under a lot of stress and there is nothing I can do about it.  Mostly in the mornings.  I just hope some day it does get better.  I was on benzo for a very long time.  I need to be fully functioning in my life and it’s still very hard.  I will be 23 months in a few days.  You all are in my thoughts carry on is all we can do.  My family needs me to continue to fake being okay and I am doing the best I can.  There is no option as I can’t speak to anyone about this but my therapist and she is incredible and benzo wise.

 

U

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Upperleft I'm moved by your post. This is why this forum is invaluable because there's so many people suffering many months and years from these so called " safe, non-addicting, non-dependent" drugs that our trusted doctors prescribed for way too long. This is going to sound bad for a minute so please bear with me....

I hope this site shuts down- because there's nobody suffering from these drugs that need help.

I hope this site get less people joining it each year- because people have been educated and decide that little pill isn't worth it.

I think all of us is faking it until we make it. Our family and friends don't understand this even if we tell them everyday. They'll only have an idea. I see you were on them a long time. I was on Zolipem for 7 years. Oh how many times I wish I could turn back time and tell the doctor who gave it to me " you take it yourself!" It has taken my quality of life from me for nearly 3 years. A year before my taper, about a year tapering and my 1 year off. I'd like to extend to you a ray of hope. Please take it. There's still hope for you. Have you read the success stories of people healing after 5 or more years? Not that I'm saying it will take you that long. Keep holding on. Hugs to you dear  :smitten:

Feel free to reach out. We're here for support.

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Thank you LadyDen

 

Yes at 24 months if not improved dramatically I will have to look at all my options.

 

I can do most everything around house but I still have so much more I need to accomplish.  It’s mostly cognitive difficulty and then physical.  The inability to control obsessive behavior and not being able to distract has led to ocd behavior.  None of which I ever had before.  It has made functioning almost impossible.  Good vibes to you.

 

U

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Thx for the good vibes. I have a thought of something that might help you. Get a notebook write down your tasks for each day. Write it in detail. For example if you want to wash dishes write it out like this:

Gather dirty dishes

Run dish water in the sink or load dishwasher

Wipe/sanitize countertops

Clean the microwave

Clean stovetop

Sweep floor

Then do something you enjoy for an hour ( play online game, watch tv, read, etc)

When you make a list check off each item when they're complete.

This listing/instructions can be used for a whole day of scheduling things. It's really handy for cognitive, brain fog and OCD issues. Plus it gives you something to focus on distracting from symptoms. If the task is a complex task then break it down into parts. For example you want to clean your closet. Do it in steps- shoes, clothes, shelves, etc

I hope this tip helps you. You might feel silly writing on a notepad all day but it does help.

I don't want to see you give up. Not after you've come so far. I know you're so tired and frustrated and even disappointed. I am too! Especially after getting out of this bed prison and being forced back in it. Sometimes healing takes a little longer. Ask yourself this question please...if I reinstate or take another drug and the next month I would have healed or made a big leap in my healing, would it be worth it? You might be another 3 weeks or 3 months or even a year. Don't you want that? You've put in a lot of time already. You can only go forward in healing. There's some that suffer for awhile then get sudden healing. You might be one of those. I had a nephew who was at the end of 11th grade. He wanted to quit. I told him brutally honestly that if he does that then he's a fool. Just one more year left and not many classes each day either. Why get at the finish line of a marathon then sit on the ground and refuse to finish? When I said that, he changed his mind! He graduated last month with his class!!!!  :thumbsup:

Please don't give up just yet. I'm here for you my friend. I'm struggling too.

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Going to try going away for a couple of nights,just hope I don't come back worse that I am now. Just figure if I never try will never know. Our stupid goverment is saying under 18's plus people who have been double jabbed don't have self isolate after covid contact  from next month. Plus no masks in couple weeks time. I know 2 people got it from family members after they've  been jabbed.
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Yes Leann, Hope you enjoy your trip and it is a good distraction for you!

 

I've had my daughter with us for an extended visit and we ended up doing many things as we used to do - go out for shopping, coffee, strolling through town, going to the beach.  She kept me much more active than I usually am, and you know what?  I feel very good.  I had some Sx early in her visit, but I slept well and we got into a new rhythm for the week, including what we watched for tv in the evenings.  It was a nice switch-up and I think I'm better for it.

 

Unfortunately she came down with a cold, including a low fever by the time she left  :(  We are all vaccinated but I can't help wonder if she could have the delta variant as she did travel by car and stopped at rest stops along the way.  I have no doubt she'll be fine.  My husband has some early symptoms of congestion, and now I'm waiting for the inevitable although I feel absolutely fine right now.  Just don't know what I could take besides tylenol if I need something....anybody have experience with sudafed or  other decongestants while in withdrawal??

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Yes Leann, Hope you enjoy your trip and it is a good distraction for you!

 

I've had my daughter with us for an extended visit and we ended up doing many things as we used to do - go out for shopping, coffee, strolling through town, going to the beach.  She kept me much more active than I usually am, and you know what?  I feel very good.  I had some Sx early in her visit, but I slept well and we got into a new rhythm for the week, including what we watched for tv in the evenings.  It was a nice switch-up and I think I'm better for it.

 

Unfortunately she came down with a cold, including a low fever by the time she left  :(  We are all vaccinated but I can't help wonder if she could have the delta variant as she did travel by car and stopped at rest stops along the way.  I have no doubt she'll be fine.  My husband has some early symptoms of congestion, and now I'm waiting for the inevitable although I feel absolutely fine right now.  Just don't know what I could take besides tylenol if I need something....anybody have experience with sudafed or  other decongestants while in withdrawal??

 

Is your daughter vaccinated?

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