12-24 months support group

[[Buddie]]

I am jumping on board this healing train as I am in month 12 now!  I feel grateful for the healing I have experienced thus far.  Def still have symptoms, but they are less intense and I can function.  I am always amazed that the symptoms morph and change and now my persistent left lower back pain/sciatica has morphed into a highly annoying "achy left leg"....so weird!!

Here's to us!!!  Let's do this!!

[[Buddie]]

Did anyone go through a period when you almost felt like progress had been chemically "blocked". Some things have eased, the OCD and mental stuff always there, but not as extreme most days, but never get a window. Depression and crying mainly glone, but almost feel like I can't move any further forward. Did anyone else go through this?

[[Buddie]]

Welcome aboard, Deanna! Hoping this will be a good year for us all in our healing.  Congrats on making 1 year sweetie!
[...], I've gone through times when I felt I wasn't making any progress. Good thing I kept a journal. I went back and saw that I was healing in the background. I think this is the case for you although you may not see it at first glance. Remember that if you're feeling it, it's healing something. Try not to worry and keep distracting yourself.
Also to everyone on here, benzos make us have intrusive thoughts, worries and fears. These are symptoms just as much as the physical ones. Unfortunately those manifest in negativity. Fight them

[[Buddie]]

Just frustrating as in myself feel lot better, just the intrusive thoughts resulting in the OCD type symptoms. When it's just one thing like Shayna and the insomnia stopping you getting your life back you get so frustrated. Think lot of truth that's it's almost chemical damage that has repair itself. Get mad with our goverment as well we're going to singalong outdoor cinema but not allowed to sing, but football supporters been allowed to group together in their thousands last few weeks singing & hugging no one says a word! You  are very stoical can't imagine being bedridden for so long and not getting depressed. You obviously have lot inner strength.

[[Buddie]]

[...] that was so sweet of you to give me a compliment. You know what sweetie? If I give in to negative thoughts I honestly wouldn't be here right now. I know this isn't a religious thread but I must give credit where credit is due....God gave me HIS strength to endure. No way I could be in the bed for 2 years straight with huge waves and not be depressed or go mad. I'm not going to lie, [...], there was many mornings that I was surprised that I woke up. I know you've tried everything you can. You are strong too!
Maybe you can try this: get a notebook write the day's date at the top. On the left side write against me and on the right side write for me. Each thought you have that is negative write it on the against me side. Every good thought write it on the for me side. At the end of the day look at both sides and reflect. Then examine the for me side again before you go to sleep. Do this everyday. This may help train your brain to stop those thoughts from becoming overwhelming. It works by making you more aware of them. Each against me thought give it a rebuttal. For example if your thought is "I'm so unhappy being like this" IMMEDIATELY write it down and give it a punch back by saying " yes this is tough but I can still do things that make me happy" Then go do something simple that brings you joy. It might be simply looking out the window at the birds playing or going outside closing your eyes listening to the birds. After doing it say " I'm happier now!"
 

[[Buddie]]

I'll give it a try. I think when people have a strong faith it can be a real help. I'm not particularly religious but when my husband was really ill in hospital went I to church , they mentioned him in prayers and found it very comforting. I know in lot ways I'm   in better head space, just wish the flaming thoughts would ease up. Hope your dizzy spells soon ease up anyway x

[[Buddie]]

Wow [...]! That may be your answer to help with your symptoms. Why don't you listen to spiritual music, read the bible and meditate on what you read, listen to a YouTube church session and talk to God when your thoughts come. You said it helped when your husband was ill. Right? There's no reason it won't help you now.  You don't have to be religious to do that. I think it will bring you some peace of mind.

[[Buddie]]

Thanks [...]

I have sx 24-7 although not as severe as they were 6 months ago.  I am under a lot of stress and there is nothing I can do about it.  Mostly in the mornings.  I just hope some day it does get better.  I was on benzo for a very long time.  I need to be fully functioning in my life and it’s still very hard.  I will be 23 months in a few days.  You all are in my thoughts carry on is all we can do.  My family needs me to continue to fake being okay and I am doing the best I can.  There is no option as I can’t speak to anyone about this but my therapist and she is incredible and benzo wise.

U

[[Buddie]]

[...] I'm moved by your post. This is why this forum is invaluable because there's so many people suffering many months and years from these so called " safe, non-addicting, non-dependent" drugs that our trusted doctors prescribed for way too long. This is going to sound bad for a minute so please bear with me....
I hope this site shuts down- because there's nobody suffering from these drugs that need help.
I hope this site get less people joining it each year- because people have been educated and decide that little pill isn't worth it.
I think all of us is faking it until we make it. Our family and friends don't understand this even if we tell them everyday. They'll only have an idea. I see you were on them a long time. I was on Zolipem for 7 years. Oh how many times I wish I could turn back time and tell the doctor who gave it to me " you take it yourself!" It has taken my quality of life from me for nearly 3 years. A year before my taper, about a year tapering and my 1 year off. I'd like to extend to you a ray of hope. Please take it. There's still hope for you. Have you read the success stories of people healing after 5 or more years? Not that I'm saying it will take you that long. Keep holding on. Hugs to you dear 
Feel free to reach out. We're here for support.

[[Buddie]]

Thank you [...]

Yes at 24 months if not improved dramatically I will have to look at all my options.

I can do most everything around house but I still have so much more I need to accomplish.  It’s mostly cognitive difficulty and then physical.  The inability to control obsessive behavior and not being able to distract has led to ocd behavior.  None of which I ever had before.   It has made functioning almost impossible.  Good vibes to you.

U