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Benzo Buddies vs Facebook benzo recovery forum


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I have been on Benzo Buddies since I withdrew in Feb 2020. Just recently I found a couple of Facebook groups of benzo withdrawal people. Benzo Buddies usually seem to make me feel hopeful in the sense that "we do heal" eventually. The Facebook groups however really seem to strike a different tone.  Seems like people are much more negative, and lots of people at year 3 and 4+ and complaining that they are still struggling, etc. The contrast between the two is kinda shocking to me.

 

It makes me wonder if maybe a full recovery or healing is not really guaranteed, in time.

 

If there is a good possibility that I won't fully return to a completely normal life where I can have beers after work or wine at dinner, or go and run for 10 miles, or drink coffee every morning..... I can handle that as a possibility for my future, but I'd rather know that this might be the case for many people. And if it proves to be different, well that is great.  But I might as well be prepared for this instead of being really disappointed later. 

 

I see lots of people that say they are healed on this forum, but it seems like most of those people weren't on benzos daily for 20 years like me.  I was a teenager when I started taking them. My body and brain were still developing.  Why should I believe (or deserve) that I'll return to the health of somebody that never damaged their brains and CNS.

 

I want to hear from you. What do you honestly think? I'm not looking for sugar-coating, I am looking for the honest truth here.

Thanks. 

 

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[c2...]
Hey , I’m 31 months off after 15 years use, I have had a tough time but in the last 3 months chemical anxiety and anxiety in general are gone for good and I can handle maximum stress now , I don’t really have symptoms other than some strange mental squirm from time to time , it’s really no big deal. 3 months ago I believed that I would never fully heal but now I am 100 % convinced that I will . It just takes so long .
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I have been on Benzo Buddies since I withdrew in Feb 2020. Just recently I found a couple of Facebook groups of benzo withdrawal people. Benzo Buddies usually seem to make me feel hopeful in the sense that "we do heal" eventually. The Facebook groups however really seem to strike a different tone.  Seems like people are much more negative, and lots of people at year 3 and 4+ and complaining that they are still struggling, etc. The contrast between the two is kinda shocking to me.

 

It makes me wonder if maybe a full recovery or healing is not really guaranteed, in time.

 

If there is a good possibility that I won't fully return to a completely normal life where I can have beers after work or wine at dinner, or go and run for 10 miles, or drink coffee every morning..... I can handle that as a possibility for my future, but I'd rather know that this might be the case for many people. And if it proves to be different, well that is great.  But I might as well be prepared for this instead of being really disappointed later. 

 

I see lots of people that say they are healed on this forum, but it seems like most of those people weren't on benzos daily for 20 years like me.  I was a teenager when I started taking them. My body and brain were still developing.  Why should I believe (or deserve) that I'll return to the health of somebody that never damaged their brains and CNS.

 

I want to hear from you. What do you honestly think? I'm not looking for sugar-coating, I am looking for the honest truth here.

Thanks.

 

Hi,

 

First, we are never guaranteed anything in life.  Set expectations accordingly.  Also, i can attest to healing as I am currently so much better than I was post jump.

 

Lastly, i despise social media platforms and dont care what others "opinions" are.  I am a free thinker and was raised that way. 

 

I would not take others experiences and pin that to yours.  This is a bad thing to. 

 

hingie

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Hey @issey - thanks for sharing. I am glad that you are making some nice improvements!  I sincerely hope that continues for you.

 

Do you ever drink alcohol?  Or do strenuous activity or exercising for example? 

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[c2...]
I used to drink a lot before I quit benzos but I have not had a drink since and I don’t plan to anytime soon. High intensity cardio can mess me up still but moderate cardio and weights no problem
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I joined several benzo FB groups. 1) Some of the groups were overly moderated and if you are a free thinker or have ideas that deviate from their guidelines, they delete your posts and send you nasty PM's. No thank you! 2) My feed was getting overwhelmed with posts, and most of them were subjects I'd rather not read. You have no way of filtering out anything.

 

Overall, I just felt there was too much negativity, heavy moderation in two groups, and subject matter that was triggering and not helpful to me. I deleted my membership from all. Here on BB you can avoid stuff that doesn't pertain to you, moderation isn't heavy, and more openness to discuss other subjects in forums set aside for that. The FB groups were always negative it seemed, BB was at one point where that was going on, and mods, admins and Colin have worked to reverse that. It does feel more positive here, and more open and welcoming.

 

I think a web-based forum works better than a closed social media group. Your history sounds very similar to the member Meaganz. She hasn't been active much because she finally healed. She struggled for a little over 3 years, but has come through the worst and had been posting a lot of positive milestones she experienced. She had some occasional bumps in the road, and that self-doubt (what we call "benzo lies" here on BB) crept in at times, but ultimately she happily declared that you really do heal. She isn't active now, because she's enjoying life, as she should be. If she could do it, so can you. Think positive. Avoid negativity and self doubt. I keep telling myself I am healing, and I will heal, I will walk out better, stronger... because I am a survivor.

 

Oh, and what Hingie said, that is so true. Life has no guarantees, but many are grateful just to be at 95%. And many would be happy to even get to 85% or 90%. You'll get there. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with the process. I struggle with that every day.

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Yes, avoid Facebook groups at all costs. There is so much negativity on those pages that does not lead to anything good. At least here when you complain you get a positive response, while on Facebook you will just get someone else who tries to up you, at best.

 

Think if everybody posted about all their life problems on Facebook.

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I left the Facebook groups after about 6 months. To much negativity. Begging for money. Question anything you say that’s different from their guidelines . I got the impression some of those people didn’t want to heal
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[fb...]
I was only on 3 months but my cold turkey was so severe. I don’t see many others non-functional for so long with no day long windows. So, I wonder the same thing. Is this permanent brain damage? I’m curious to hear what people say.
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Question anything you say that’s different from their guidelines .

 

You must have joined those two sister groups. The mods are obsessed with you adhering to their guidelines. I actually wrote a post here a short while back about my experiences there. I got tired of being told about the bad effects of stuff I was taking and how I needed to adhere to their outdated and incorrect guidelines. I dared to tell them I disagreed, and so did my Psych NP. Didn't matter, might as well be talking to a brick wall. Then came the nasty PM's and deleted posts. I don't care for power hungry control freak mods. Unsubscribed from both. And one told me she disliked Benzo Buddies. Most likely because BB allows discussions on stuff their rigid guidelines don't. Apparently I rocked the boat too much. Since sailed away and left them on their island ruled by guidelines.

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You know, the funny thing is that every so often we will have a member who complains bitterly that BB is too strict on the content we will allow. ::) What they really mean is that BB should be operated to their own particular or peculiar preferences. In actuality - within sensible limits - there is very little content we outright disallow here. We make far more requirements of writing style: that is to say, members should not relate personal experiences or opinions as though they are fact.

 

Too many benzodiazpine support groups (or similar types of groups) seem to reflect the dogma followed by the owner/operator. And often attempt to direct their members into particular paths or actions. Of course, that's plain wrong. It is indicative of a lack of respect for the autonomy of the individual (in consultation with their doctors) to determine their own healthcare needs. It also reflects the failure of the operator to recognise the limits to their own abilities and knowledge in the broad, and in the specific (the individual member). Conversely, our Mission Statement reads:

 

Mission Statement

 

BenzoBuddies: an inclusive, nonjudgmental mutual-support environment for those who wish to withdraw from benzodiazepines.

 

Members of the BenzoBuddies community are encouraged to exchange ideas, information and support during the process of withdrawal and recovery.

 

Although outside of the immediate scope of BenzoBuddies, members are free to discuss their wider medical problems and needs as they relate to benzodiazepine use and withdrawal.

 

Taking or quitting any medicine—including benzodiazepines—should be a personal decision made in consultation with a suitably qualified medical practitioner.

 

Through a peer-support model, we strive to help members achieve their goals.

 

My experiences of benzodiazepoine use and withdrawal are peculiar to me. It is the same for every single member here. There will be some shared experiences, circumstances, and physiological similarities, but always differences too. No one at BB or any other group should be your role model. By all means take on board what you feel might apply to you, but dismiss the rest. And then consult with a healthcare professional anyway - this is not a disclaimer; it is just plain common sense.

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I was only on 3 months but my cold turkey was so severe. I don’t see many others non-functional for so long with no day long windows. So, I wonder the same thing. Is this permanent brain damage? I’m curious to hear what people say.

 

I hope not Fluffer, but part of me thinks certain things could be.

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[d5...]

G-Bones,

 

I was a long-time Klonopin user, 21 years; I've been off for a year now.  One of the things that I factor in when I am wondering if I am healed is that I am 21 years older than when I started taking benzos and aging naturally causes health issues.  That said, I would say I am fully healed and any problems I have now, which are relative few for someone who is 63, are very few and could have just as easily have happened had I never taken benzos.

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What about success stories on FB?? Don't you hear sucess stories of people healing at 3 -4 years?

 

I assume they don't have that kind of culture there. Facebook groups are basically threads with no system. So it becomes hard to manage.

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People write the truth on Facebook. What's the point in lying to them?

 

We'll have to disagree. It depends on what kind of feedback people receive. We all deserve validation, but if people are effectively rewarded for posting negative, doom and gloom laden content, this does a disservice to other members and the person submitting the content too. In addition to this, we know that such spaces attract interesting characters who crave attention and will think nothing of inventing content in an effort to garner it.

 

There is no way to stop this completely, but some environments/structures only encourage such behaviour. It is the flip side to people using Facebook to post about their fake 'beautiful lives' (which certainly has been documented).

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Too many benzodiazpine support groups (or similar types of groups) seem to reflect the dogma followed by the owner/operator. And often attempt to direct their members into particular paths or actions. Of course, that's plain wrong. It is indicative of a lack of respect for the autonomy of the individual (in consultation with their doctors) to determine their own healthcare needs. It also reflects the failure of the operator to recognise the limits to their own abilities and knowledge in the broad, and in the specific (the individual member).

 

That is the case with the two sister groups, they were founded by one woman, and she and what I call her right hand man created the rigid guidelines they require members to adhere by. There was a young woman who they kept throwing suggestions at, and she responded that nothing they recommended helped her. I replied and brought up something that I've often seen discussed on BB, got a reply by a mod saying I was violating their guidelines and to refrain from making suggestions that deviated from them, as the method used by the authors were tried and true.

 

My experiences of benzodiazepoine use and withdrawal are peculiar to me. It is the same for every single member here. There will be some shared experiences, circumstances, and physiological similarities, but always differences too. No one at BB or any other group should be your role model. By all means take on board what you feel might apply to you, but dismiss the rest. And then consult with a healthcare professional anyway - this is not a disclaimer; it is just plain common sense.

 

Many of those groups threw common sense out the door. Especially the two sister groups under one founder.

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What about success stories on FB?? Don't you hear sucess stories of people healing at 3 -4 years?

 

I assume they don't have that kind of culture there. Facebook groups are basically threads with no system. So it becomes hard to manage.

 

You have it correct. I never saw a single success story. And you get constant feeds of posts and no way of looking back to posts older than a certain point. The format doesn't lend itself well to any sort of management, stuff falls off your feed and that's it.

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People write the truth on Facebook. What's the point in lying to them?

 

We'll have to disagree. It depends on what kind of feedback people receive. We all deserve validation, but if people are effectively rewarded for posting negative, doom and gloom laden content, this does a disservice to other members and the person submitting the content too. In addition to this, we know that such spaces attract interesting characters who crave attention and will think nothing of inventing content in an effort to garner it.

 

There is no way to stop this completely, but some environments/structures only encourage such behaviour. It is the flip side to people using Facebook to post about their fake 'beautiful lives' (which certainly has been documented).

 

I was going to reply to this, but Colin gave a good one. I can only add that Facebook is full of trolls, fake accounts, conspiracy theories, people with dangerous personal agendas, etc. Need I say more? And Facebook is constantly trying reign in all the above, but they can't catch it all. While I can't say I saw outright lying, I can say I saw misinformation, and argued with a mod over what I considered a dangerous suggestion; ignoring the treatment plan the poster and their healthcare provider. Being told the guidelines are right and your provider is wrong is just plain wrong. BB's own statement would likely prohibit telling a poster that they should ignore the healthcare professional assisting them with tapering, in favor of a set of tapering guidelines provided by two people based on their personal tapering experiences. Uh.., guess I replied any way  ::). But Colin hit it right on the nail.

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I was only on 3 months but my cold turkey was so severe. I don’t see many others non-functional for so long with no day long windows. So, I wonder the same thing. Is this permanent brain damage? I’m curious to hear what people say.

 

I hear you in the severity.  There were a few time where i was in the edge, literally.

 

You will get better.  You will improve.  All over n your own time and way.  The time part is so hard but as time does pass, you will recognize the improvement

 

Hingie

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I was only on 3 months but my cold turkey was so severe. I don’t see many others non-functional for so long with no day long windows. So, I wonder the same thing. Is this permanent brain damage? I’m curious to hear what people say.

 

I hear you in the severity.  There were a few time where i was in the edge, literally.

 

You will get better.  You will improve.  All over n your own time and way.  The time part is so hard but as time does pass, you will recognize the improvement

 

Hingie

 

bold emphasis mine

 

fluffer, I think Hingie gave you great advice. I believe in the power of positive thinking, I try but don't always succeed because I'm human and the bad days can be overwhelming. But take the bolded words and turn them into "I will get better."  "I will improve.".  It's amazing the difference doing this makes. Learn to be patient with yourself and with the process.  :-*

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[fb...]

Th aka guys. I guess I just start to wonder when month after month, my windows remain at a few hours a night. No full days, torture is day after day unrelenting. I need a break. Ugh.

 

Thank you for your kindness. I’m in such a bad place right now.

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I was only on 3 months but my cold turkey was so severe. I don’t see many others non-functional for so long with no day long windows. So, I wonder the same thing. Is this permanent brain damage? I’m curious to hear what people say.

 

I was like you but I had a big turnaround at 13 months and much bigger at 18. Just wanted to give you hope. I didn’t have any windows for a long time during my first year. The second year was much better.

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That's because people who are still struggling after 3 or 4 years on this forum usually post more in the protracted group. People have to go through a certain set of steps to see that part of the forum. Also, there is far less censorship in Facebook groups.

 

There are still plenty of positive people in a lot of the benzo groups on Facebook too. I met a lot of good people in those groups who were positive and encouraged me forward. Just need to find the right group. Try the group Positives While Healing From Benzodiazepines.

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