Author Topic: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages  (Read 4284 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #180 on: September 15, 2021, 02:47:20 am »
VNM,

 Thank you for the response. Yes, it's true that back in late April 2021, even a 2mg Xanax wouldn't work for me. It just made my heart pound and made me anxious. That's the only reason I am tapering off. Because it quit working miracles for me. You make a good point about never wanting to take it again. I am so anxious in the morning (and through the rest of the day, but not as bad) that I am taking your advice on another thread and slowing down my taper. I also have had a horrifically difficult life so I am anxious regardless.

I guess I just need to adjust to life without Benzo's. I'm thinking of asking my Dr. for Vistaril to help with anxiety. It's nowhere near as potent as Benzo's but maybe it will help.

Thanks, again for the response,

[...]

Vistaril helped me a tiny bit when I was much worse than now, but when I reached a very bad place, what I needed was a
 good long hold. I guess it doesn't work for everyone but that's my experience to remain functional.

I hear you. I am disappointed that I have to hold because I want off this crap, but I am going to hold for at least another week, if not 2, and see if my morning anxiety (and anxiety, in general) doesn't ease up some.

I guess a few weeks longer isn't a big deal in the long run.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #181 on: September 15, 2021, 11:59:28 am »
VNM,

 Thank you for the response. Yes, it's true that back in late April 2021, even a 2mg Xanax wouldn't work for me. It just made my heart pound and made me anxious. That's the only reason I am tapering off. Because it quit working miracles for me. You make a good point about never wanting to take it again. I am so anxious in the morning (and through the rest of the day, but not as bad) that I am taking your advice on another thread and slowing down my taper. I also have had a horrifically difficult life so I am anxious regardless.

I guess I just need to adjust to life without Benzo's. I'm thinking of asking my Dr. for Vistaril to help with anxiety. It's nowhere near as potent as Benzo's but maybe it will help.

Thanks, again for the response,

[...]

Vistaril helped me a tiny bit when I was much worse than now, but when I reached a very bad place, what I needed was a
 good long hold. I guess it doesn't work for everyone but that's my experience to remain functional.

I hear you. I am disappointed that I have to hold because I want off this crap, but I am going to hold for at least another week, if not 2, and see if my morning anxiety (and anxiety, in general) doesn't ease up some.

I guess a few weeks longer isn't a big deal in the long run.

[...]

For me a hold is three months minimum  :laugh: My state in summer 2019 was so terrifying that my top priority is not going there again. Coming off is secondary. However, I do manage to chip away a bit here and there. I hope I get there eventually.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #182 on: September 15, 2021, 03:31:21 pm »
I feel better this morning than usual for some reason. I am still anxious but not as bad as usual.

I'm still holding my Xanax for at least an extra week.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #183 on: September 15, 2021, 07:40:11 pm »
I feel better this morning than usual for some reason. I am still anxious but not as bad as usual.

I'm still holding my Xanax for at least an extra week.

[...]

 :smitten: :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #184 on: September 16, 2021, 12:00:25 am »
I feel better this morning than usual for some reason. I am still anxious but not as bad as usual.

I'm still holding my Xanax for at least an extra week.

[...]

you are doing GREAT with your taper . Congrats!!! A high dose too!! I agree dont push it. I wish I did this well. you are the poster child for getting it right the FIRST time.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #185 on: September 16, 2021, 04:38:28 pm »
Hi [...],

 What was your inpatient experience like? to go from 40mgs V to zero that fast is quite an accomplishment. Do you wish you would have slow tapered at home? or are you glad you did it the inpatient way?

Thanks, in advance,

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #186 on: September 21, 2021, 11:45:34 pm »
Hi [...],

 What was your inpatient experience like? to go from 40mgs V to zero that fast is quite an accomplishment. Do you wish you would have slow tapered at home? or are you glad you did it the inpatient way?

Thanks, in advance,

[...]

I tried to taper for several years, first off 2mg of K, made some headway but hit a wall. When my tolerance got real bad and depression awful, I did an updose crossover to 40 mgs of [...] which was a horrible failure. My depression was so horrible, with depersonalization, TOTAL insomnia and global dysfunction that I had no choice to go inpatient or I would have died. I lost 42 pounds in 3 months. Fortunately I was able to get into Johns Hopkins psych service (my mother had to get this done) and they pumped me full of AD's while tapering me quickly. Surprisingly I was discharged way better than I was on admission, although it took a while to recover.

But with your excellent success, keep going the way you are. If your mood gets low, consider some psych med support.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #187 on: September 23, 2021, 01:19:47 am »
[...],

 I'm glad for your positive inpatient experience. That's always good to hear! I've been holding this week to see if I feel any better. It seems like my morning anxiety is less than it has been.

VNM,
 I hear you on the benefit of long holds. I'm going to see how I feel Friday and decide whether I'm going to do my cut from .12mg/day to .10mg/day. I'm not sure yet. As I have said; I just want off this crap! but I know I have to be careful too.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #188 on: October 13, 2021, 12:53:37 am »
How are most of you doing? I reread through the group from post 1, and most of you seemed to have a sense of relief that you were not alone.

It was good to have a place to talk about the issues we face with multiple tapers and other issues.

I am doing much better, although my dosage has not moved much. If that's how I have to taper at this time to stay sane, then that is good and right. I am giving my brain what it is telling me it needs.

Did experience a horrible wave after I had surgery and opiates. Was stunned by the viciousness of it, and scared. It has just now started to ease off, so I am tapering again. (test cutting)

What I have learned:
1. Don't bump a dose. Once I stopped doing that, the pardoxing slowed down. (even though I was doing it hoping to stop the paradox)

2. Consistency in quantities. I was paradoxing so much, I would try to go up, down , longer or shorter trying to stop it after a few days. I determined to hold my dose, even once the paradox hit, and wait it out. 3 weeks, and I was through the darkness.  I learned from this that I need (generally) to hold 3 weeks. Now I know my time frame.

3. Setbacks. Expect the unexpected. Shit will always happen. I had a major surgery and opiates that threw me into hard wd, as bad as it's ever been. I was so scared it would not let up, very bad shape. HELD my dose and waited. and waited. and waited. It's been 7 weeks, and I am coming out of it. But anything can create a setback, you may not even know what it is. I did some reading on the topic, setbacks are very common, even post jump. Expect the unexpected, it will most likely happen. It's not your dose, it's not that you can't heal, it is another manifestation of withdrawal and injury. Hold and hang on, it will resolve. 

4. Test cut. When you think your ready, make the cut. If it is bad. Stop, go back, give it some time, and go again. You can always go lower in your percentage.

5. Slow slow slow. Find your own unique rhythm. Better to go a bit longer between cuts than you can tolerate than to cut too soon and destabilize yourself. Learning process. Same with percentages.

6. Tool box. If you build it, relief will come! Keep adding to it. Doing yoga almost daily while I was in a wave gave me no noticeable relief, but the discipline and practice were calming my nervous system even if I could not feel it. The good things can take time to manifest their benefits, but it will happen.

7. Congratulate yourself often. You are doing this. You made it another hour. You made a small cut and held for a while and survived. You folded the laundry. You took a shower. You sat on your porch and listened to the birds and allowed yourself to just be. You dealt with a difficult issue in amped up anxiety and stress. You were kind to a stranger. 

Be proud of who you
are and what you do.

This is the worst experience in the world, and even just to survive an hour is worthy of accolades. Appreciate how strong and amazing you are to get through this. All things are temporary. You may feel stagnate, but you are not stuck. It may feel like that, but we need to change our perception of those spells. The brain is not ready, but it will be in time to make the move you want. Healing is a convoluted non-linear roller coaster, and our body is working so hard to heal. Cut yourself some slack. This process hurts! 

Do not let withdrawal define you. It is an injury, an illness, and unbearable, but it is not you. You are a [...] of nature, a spark of divinity, a person of love and peace and giving. You feel the pain, but you are not your pain. You are amazing.

Loves to all, far and wide.

« Last Edit: October 13, 2021, 02:26:08 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #189 on: October 14, 2021, 05:23:46 pm »
Hi [...],

That you for the post.  You have such great information that you share!  I so agree with what you wrote. 

I am doing ok, have had a few things that have caused me issues but I am holding on.  This is hard to do but we can and we are doing it! 

I am so glad that you are doing better after your wave.  I know that all had to be hard to deal with, but you did and you are doing great!  You sound really good and focused and I applaud you for even trying to make cuts.  I totally agree with the testing cuts too, I have done that and it does work.  I have learned that when I make a cut and it hits me really hard really fast, that I am not ready and I go back to the dose before that one.  I keep trying until I am able to make the cut without total suffering.  To me, cutting is not supposed to make me non functional.  I know there is discomfort and WD and I can handle it most times when I cut but there have been times when a cut has knocked me to my knees.  At first I kept at that cut and suffered so much and for months and a couple times, months.  I do not do that to myself anymore.

I love how positive you are even though you have been through hell multiple times.  I am proud of how much you have accomplished!!

You are an inspiration to me and to others!!

Love and hugs,
[...]  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.