Author Topic: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages  (Read 4238 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2021, 01:27:16 am »
[...],

 I can definitely relate to getting nothing out of Xanax besides WORSE interdose WD or paradox. I am sorry to hear you're stuck in that situation. You have to tread lightly, obviously. I still remember when Xanax use to work for me and would take away my anxiety or put me to sleep. Not anymore. I just want off this crap so bad I can't even express it but it owns me at the moment. I have to take my ml every few hours to avoid (worse) symptoms AND I have to keep cutting until I get to zero in, hopefully, a few months time. We'll see how it goes. I hate clock watching and taking doses that don't make me feel good but it is what it is.

Hang in there. It will be a long road for you but you can do it. Sounds like you are going to have to go very slow for a long time. We'll keep you company. I remember just a few years ago, my Rx was .25 mg twice a day and it worked! Took my anxiety away and put me to sleep. I somehow ended up on 4 mg and in paradox and interdose WD. I feel your pain. I am holding at 1.15 mg a day (16.5 ml every 3 hours until July 2nd when I drop to alternating 15 ml and 16 ml (.15 and .16 mg) every 3 hours.

  [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2021, 03:44:21 pm »
Heart

I am amazed that you were able to taper with the paradox/no benefit situation.

I think your amazing.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2021, 03:48:51 pm »
I really appreciate all the posters. Do you folks think that multiple tapers make the process harder? Any other thoughts on the uniqueness of our situation?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2021, 04:02:52 pm »
I have bipolar and was hospitalized for it a couple times and CT off Xanax in the hospital. I can't say if it is making my interdose WD worse or not? From everything I have read, it probably is but I can't say for sure. I probably have kindling but I don't know.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2021, 04:24:24 pm »
Looking back over my taper and worse, having actually 'forgotten' that I took if for several months prior to my pregnancy and stopped cold turkey without ANY issues whatsoever, I truly have to [...] if it's what made this taper so much harder for me.  I know far too many people who even after several years of use, at a significant dose, were able to discontinue with relatively mild symptoms. 

I'm actually blown away that my taper has been this difficult.  I didn't see it coming.  When I joined BB years ago and read the many horrific stories, I crossed it off to many having been poly-drugged.  I honestly was not prepared for a painfully long and symptom riddled journey. 

My length of use and high dose probably contributed immensely to the problems I've had but you really have to [...] if the second or third time is more problematic.

Additionally, I think that once you become tolerant to the benzo, all hell breaks loose.  I know that during my last year of grad school and internship, I started to [...] what was wrong with me.  I'd be in the middle of a session with a client and could feel the room starting to spin, my face would drain of color, and I was preoccupied with "does my client see that I'm not 'right" right now?"  It really bothered me.  I would cross it off to having not eaten in 4 hours, etc.  Only to find as the next year or so went on, that it started happening more frequently.. even if I was sitting at home and relaxed.  This is what prompted to me start looking into Xanax  At that point, I had been taking it for close to 15 years, as prescribed, as a compliant patient, and never thought twice about it.  Well, as we all know, after that research... the rest is history!  In a nutshell, I think that the minute you reach tolerance to a drug, and start experiencing interdose withdrawal like I did, every dose seems to be paradoxical in the sense that it no longer alleviates symptoms.  And then you can only continue to updose so much before nothing works anymore.  At least that was my experience.  I did not feel ANY better at 6 milligrams than I did at 4.  That's when I knew that it I absolutely had to come off of them.

Of course, what I found out during those months of research back @  2015-2016 were devastating!  The internet was non-existent when I started Xanax and I had never even heard of the word Benzodiazepine.  Never!  I thought I was taking some sort of SSRI (not kidding).  I was THAT na´ve!  My doctor who had initially prescribed them blew off my questions with a swipe of the hand telling me that these were perfectly safe to use long term and non addictive!  I KID YOU NOT!  Those were his words in 1998... because I asked! 

I honestly believe that length of use, duration, and of course multiple tapers or C/T's all play a major role in the degree of difficulty getting off.  However, I think it's worth it!  A year ago, I never thought I'd get this far.  I was ready to give up!  But here I am... only a few months left. 

You got this, [...]!  I swear you can do it!!!

Love,
[...]

« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 04:52:42 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #15 on: June 22, 2021, 04:31:24 pm »
Thank you for summarizing your story, again, [...]. Knowing you can do it, makes me think I can do it too. I hope [...] feels the same way. Us high dose Xanax users have our work cut out for us.

Have a great day :)

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #16 on: June 22, 2021, 05:20:43 pm »
[...],

You have always been so helpful, and are a Bastian of solid advice. Because of you, I started to cut. (You wrote me a tough love post, which I have saved in my progress log (it is down the page here if you want to look at it  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=243067.40)

This line that you wrote is where I find myself:
 In a nutshell, I think that the minute you reach tolerance to a drug, and start experiencing interdose withdrawal like I did, every dose seems to be paradoxical in the sense that it no longer alleviates symptoms.  And then you can only continue to updose so much before nothing works anymore. 

Thinking about all that everyone has written, and my own experience. This time, it's the paradoxes (I had them before) that are causing me so much pain. A month ago, I was still dosing closer to 9 Mgs. I have to keep notes to see if I'm moving or stagnant. I am moving.  Looks like I need to hold here, I really hope this calms down.

Loves to all, the battle rages on :smitten:
« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 05:46:32 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2021, 05:40:25 pm »
[...],

You have always been so helpful, and are a Bastian of solid advice. Because of you, I started to cut.   I'm speechless... because right now I don't feel of much use, let alone help, to anyone!  You just made my day.  (You wrote me a tough love post, which I have saved in my progress log (it is down the page here if you want to look at it  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=243067.40)

This line that you wrote is where I find myself:
 In a nutshell, I think that the minute you reach tolerance to a drug, and start experiencing interdose withdrawal like I did, every dose seems to be paradoxical in the sense that it no longer alleviates symptoms.  And then you can only continue to updose so much before nothing works anymore. 

Thinking about all that everyone has written, and my own experience. May try more experiments. I am stuck at 8.25/.5 just like I was stuck around 9.5. It has taken me 2 months I think to get down here.  This time, it's the paradoxes (I had them before) that are causing me so much pain. A month ago, I was still dosing closer to 9 Mgs. I have to keep notes to see if I'm moving or stagnant. I am definately moving.
  And you are!  The pace does NOT matter!
Loves to all, the battle rages on :smitten:

[...]:  If this helps at all.... even a smidge... I cannot begin to tell you the difference I felt when I reached the halfway mark.  I swear to all that is holy that I was sooooo much better.  All that horrible anxiety just vanished!  I didn't know what to make of it!  I kept waiting for it to come back.  I didn't see how it couldn't since I still had so far to go.  But guess what?  It really did!  Sure, I got slammed with physical stuff (all the muscle and GI issues) that I never saw coming, but not everyone gets this! 

If I can offer you any ray of hope at all it's that so many of my former buddies that are now off of this (SeakingPeace1, Kristen, etc.) all went though this.  We ALL started to feel much better at the halfway mark.  It's almost like your body and brain give you a reprieve in order to tackle the second half.  So please, please, please, hang in there.  Keep going. Plow through the really rough patches because better days are on the horizon... even before your taper is through.  Things will change.  Sometimes it's subtle.  Other times you'll wake and [...] "When's xyz going to rear its ugly head" .. and it just doesn't!  I had some symptoms that were so bad... the internal vibrations come to mind right now - but I had to dig deep, that I honestly forgot about until I read over my notes.  I'm very serious when I say that you'll find yourself forgetting them. 

Please trust that you'll have to wrap your mind tightly around the fact that you're going to have some crappy months... but they will stop!  And if you're like many of us, once you hit @ that 3.5 milligram (or whatever your midpoint may be) dose, you may also feel the shift.  It's a reprieve!  If you stick with it, you'll be fine.  You have so many tools in your arsenal!  I believe in you!  I truly do!!!   :smitten:

Sending love and strength!

Love,
[...]
« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 05:46:09 pm by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #18 on: June 22, 2021, 05:49:14 pm »

Thinking about all that everyone has written, and my own experience.

A site I find very helpful mostly for information is this: http://www.beatingbenzos.com/365527979

It is the only site I have found that lists paradoxing as a symptom: http://www.beatingbenzos.com/365528008

Anyway, it is based in the UK, but has a lot of information.

I wish I could just cut to the halfway point now, darn it. I am going to have to hold here and hope the paradoxes settle down  for a bit. And yes, it will be crappy.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Mutiple Tapers/long haulers/high dosages
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2021, 05:56:44 pm »
Thanks for the link, [...]. I'll have to check it out. I'm sorry you feel stuck at 9 mg's, but I am glad your symptoms aren't worse. Maybe after you have been stable for a while, You can start to taper again. Do you feel like your Rx is safe? Will you have access to enough Xanax to be able to taper?

Hoping you're having a good day and relatively stable on your dose,

 [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.