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I have yet to feel 100% normal CT


[Ki...]

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Not a single window of console normalcy just a 7 month trip through hell. I need some real encouragement from someone preferably who cold turkeyed but all is welcome.
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Pamster, who supports so many of us has a great cold turkey recovery story....maybe she can reassure you that you will recover!!!!
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I completely understand how you feel. I did a cold turkey myself, not knowing any better. What I do know is success stories I've read it doesn't seem to make a difference if you cold turkey or taper, everybody heals. I've also read that sometimes people that cold turkey can heal in less time or it might seem like it because it can take a year or so to taper and then another year free from the benzo. So it turns out to be all the same in the end. Not that it's going to take that long to heal, that's just an illustration. Good healing to you.

 

LiveLife

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[d3...]

I feel 100% me every night starting at 8PM as if nothing happened...People say the window will widen or I will get an all day window some day. Like you, hoping and waiting for that. So far, the window has narrowed - used to start at 5 or 6PM. So, I modified my schedule and now go to bed at midnight instead of 10PM to enjoy the good times.

 

Hang in there. I feel a little better every month. It's just slow...

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Wow you’re only 7 months off, sorry to say that that is nothing. It took me along time to accept that healing takes as long as it does. I was SURE I’d be better by 6 months, then I was SURE I’d be healed by 18 months, then I was SURE I’d be healed by 2 years and so on. I didn’t start seeing real healing until 30 months off, things got a lot better then. I’m almost 4 years off and doing great, I feel full of life and pretty much no symptoms. It might happen sooner for you, I was kindled and a bad case, but I think we need to be honest about how long this takes, 7 months is early days. I hope that doesn’t scare you, because I promise it gets a million times better

 

Sunshine1602,

 

Omitting your first sentence would make your response so much more in line with being helpful and encouraging for the original poster or anyone else who reads this thread and is so-called early in this process. It seems cruel to say that 7 months “is nothing.”  That’s 7 arduous months, not including whatever other time was done before the last dose, that we all know is extremely difficult, painful, and, for many, life altering.  That time certainly is something. 

 

I agree with the needing to be honest about how long this process might take for some of us, and I appreciate your honesty and more thoughtful response in the rest of your paragraph because it really is good advice, but that first line comes across as particularly patronizing. 

 

I am so sorry that your healing is taking as long as it is but so very glad to hear that you are doing great now.  Wishing you well on the remainder of your journey and may your complete success occur soon. 

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Not a single window of console normalcy just a 7 month trip through hell. I need some real encouragement from someone preferably who cold turkeyed but all is welcome.

 

Killthegame, I was not a CT but a very rapid taper with some unfortunate stop starts in the beginning before knowing what was happening, which is what I believe made things so much more worse for me.  I also have never had a 100% window.  I have had “windows” of feeling better and pretty close to normal again, but there are always symptoms with me.  Remember that we are all so different and that not one journey is or will be the same.  However, we do all know how darn difficult this journey is.  Hell is an accurate descriptor! Hang in there, Buddie.  We will get through this. 

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[d3...]

Sunshine75 - THANK YOU! I’ve been trying to encourage people to be kind to those in the “early days” for a while. No one knows when we might heal but we need hope to keep going. This is why success stories are important from people near your time point.

 

Also, if it takes four years to heal, it might be helpful to hear how things changed in a positive way over time. Or, if you truly were in acute hell just like the early months for 30 months, then I guess saying that this is not common (I believe it isn’t common) might at least be helpful.

 

Otherwise, stories like that just make one feel desperate.

 

Hugs.

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How insensitive for another BenzoBuddie to say that your suffering is "nothing".  Killingthegame you are doing great.  Seven months is a long time to struggle/suffer, but unfortunately, you are not healed yet.    This process usually takes 12-18 months to get completely healed. You will get better, it is just incredibly slow.  Keep taking it one day at a time.  Something that made it easier for me was to compare my progress to the last month, not to the last week.    Also, having said that, there could be times when you feel like you are almost back in acute, but those do not last.  Those people that say they are still struggling three years out usually are not struggling like they were the first year and half.  Just remember your body is healing; you are getting better although sometimes it may not feel that way.
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