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A near perfect day and then an oops..


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Going to start with a positive. A few days ago I felt so near perfect it kinda scared me. Energy, libido, everything around me was so clear and sharp - visually and mentally. Aches were an all time low. Best window yet.

 

Fast forward that I have sought out a functional medicine provider who has some experience dealing with benzo recovery ( I know - so rare). I was hoping to find some ways to support my body in recovering.

Anyhoo, he wanted to see how I'd do just soaking my hands for 5 min in water with a small scoop of epsom salts(magnesium). The idea was to try to reintroduce magnesium to help with liver support and muscle stiffness that I get. I was concerned, but trusting I tried it last night .

 

Holy moly what a mistake. I woke every two hrs with nightmares just like I did in tolerance with benzos. Today I have had many symptoms revisit.

I will say I am not in acute again - but it is def a crappy wave. So the upside is I'm not thrown back to the way I felt 15 months ago - so that means there is progress...but obviously I'm still horribly sensitive.

 

I will say I learned a ton from my session, and how we are all so individualized in how we recover and what we are sensitive to. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't look at you like you were crazy about all of this!

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Dang sorry Trina!

This is exactly why I don't use Epsom salts!

I tried it during acute for my nerve pain ....just my feet...

Horrible! Never again! And I even consider myself pretty well recovered, bit I STILL won't use them! Lol

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8)

    Trina, ohhhh! It’s so hard to know what works huh?  I really hope your doing good. Thanks so much for being there, for others, Next time maybe slather your hands in mayonnaise ( joke) Sometimes it’s a crapshoot.  ;)

    Hugs))))).

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All hell has unleashed this morning..this is my pattern when anything goes off..24-48 hrs after whatever has "disrupted" me starts to leave my system I'm in a bad place.

WTH?!!! This person is supposed to be someone who helps ppl with benzo recovery as part of what they do. I knew better. My gut said not to do the magnesium. It was such a small amount...I'm mad at him, I'm mad at me...

I can't handle anymore of these setbacks. A wave I can usually ride out - but this is something else.

He has other things he wants me to try when I'm ready. I'm not introducing anything again until I think I'm healed. Nothing.

 

I'm supposed to start a new job next week..now what? How am I supposed to do that?

I'm devastated, I've got nothing left. Sorry guys I'm just so distraught..

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If you are anything like me a supplement setback and such only lasts a day or 2. Hope so anyway xx
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If you are anything like me a supplement setback and such only lasts a day or 2. Hope so anyway xx

 

Hoping you're right..but magnesium is natures benzo so...

Took me a month to recover from half of an Imodium beginning of April.

 

Sorry just in such a bad place right now - thanks for the hope though:)

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Trina, this is downright .........can’t even bring up a word to describe what I am feeling for you!  In the back of my mind I have had a fear about reinstating magnesium which I took for years, but also your story reminded me that my husband bought home a big bag of magnesium for me to soak in, which sits unopened in a bathroom cabinet!!!!  And, it will stay there.  I had a long, 45 minute phone call with my GP yesterday and I was sharing with him some of the sensitivities my BBs report, and he was amazed.  But, he totally understood and knows now not to suggest anything new to add to my medicine cabinet, and to let my body recover when it is ready.

 

I am hoping and praying this setback is a quickie and will not hinder your starting your new job next week.

 

Hugs and healing thoughts :smitten: :smitten:

 

GG

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GG - def don't take a bath in those.... :(

 

Thanks for the love...been talking to myself in my head all this morning ("give it a couple weeks - you'll pull out like last time..").

Goodness..how much can the body take?

 

Hope you are having a great window:)

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Trina, just sent you a PM.....just more healing thoughts and hugs and an update on me, GG, with the burning brain.  Wasn’t there a song, Jeannie with the light brown hair?  Not sure, but my song is somewhat similar.  Darn, burning brain...but, I know it has gone before and will eventually go for good.  Just like your oops with the magnesium, but probably within a day or two.

 

:smitten:GG

 

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Although I understand that you feel horrified right now, Trina, the truth for me was that at a certain point in my recovery, this did not happen to me anymore. Some supplements needed to be tried a tons of times. And today I am thankful I tried and tried. And fell on my knees and stood up, and then tried something else and so on. We need to try things and our gut does not always know what's true or not. Be kind to yourself :smitten:
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Trina,

 

First I want tosay, I am so happy that you had such a good day and were feeling so well. That sounds like a very good sign! No, I'm so sorry that you had this happen to you. It's so unfair! This whole benzo mess makes it so difficult to know what we should shouldn't do. I think because you were doing so well this isn't going to take you as long to pull through as last time that was two months ago and you're further along now. Hope to hear you feeling much better in the next day or so. Good healing to you. Warm thoughts coming your way.

 

LiveLife

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ugh. this healing is so brutal and unpredictable. :tickedoff: don't let this wave get you down. you are going to heal. you are so strong. you need to remember the Imodium setback is not the same as soaking your hands in Epsom salt. this wave is telling you negative thoughts. >:D breathe. you are doing great. you had a fabulous window with many many many more to come. this wave will end. feeling is healing. breathe.  :smitten: :smitten:
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[4a...]

Oh Trina, I am so sorry! I did some things that have me in a 2 weeks wave that doesn't seem to want to end, so I understand your frustration. We will heal!

 

Hang in there - sending you hugs!

 

:hug:

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Although I understand that you feel horrified right now, Trina, the truth for me was that at a certain point in my recovery, this did not happen to me anymore. Some supplements needed to be tried a tons of times. And today I am thankful I tried and tried. And fell on my knees and stood up, and then tried something else and so on. We need to try things and our gut does not always know what's true or not. Be kind to yourself :smitten:

 

I actually thought of you today ..almost PM'd you about this lol.

Always grateful when you share your experiences...I always learn a lot and it gives me perspective. Thanks Marigold.. :smitten:

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So so sorry about your wave-  I also am in the middle of one- total fatigue- Just yesterday morning I was marveling how great I felt- then by mid afternoon I got hit.  I've had a few doc appts in last few days and took 1/2 tylenol pm- Whenever this happens I keep wondering what it was that triggered me-  I also had a botox injection in my forehead (vanity never leaves  :laugh: :laugh:)  I went to a functional medicine doc 6 months ago who also told me to soak with Epsom salt-  any wave after that i attributed to the Epsom.    When I told my primary care doc he said that it wasn't possible(of course he's also the prescriber of the benzo for all those years-he doesn't do that any more thankfully-he's been schooled) - Magnesium is not absorbed through the skin- at least there is no scientific evidence of it after study. 

  WTF-  All I can say is this sucks- I feel your pain (am in the middle of this fatigue) and have to hope that as time goes on these waves will be shorter and shorter- I do try to really appreciate the "normal" times more than I ever had-and I guess I have to look at that as a gift.  It's not easy!

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Well, I know for sure now that I cannot have Pho soup....each and every time I indulge when craving it, I come down with awful GI issues, which then bring on the flu-like symptoms.  I guess I am just a glutton for punishment, as my dad used to say!

 

Feel better, Trina :smitten:

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So so sorry about your wave-  I also am in the middle of one- total fatigue- Just yesterday morning I was marveling how great I felt- then by mid afternoon I got hit.  I've had a few doc appts in last few days and took 1/2 tylenol pm- Whenever this happens I keep wondering what it was that triggered me-  I also had a botox injection in my forehead (vanity never leaves  :laugh: :laugh:)  I went to a functional medicine doc 6 months ago who also told me to soak with Epsom salt-  any wave after that i attributed to the Epsom.    When I told my primary care doc he said that it wasn't possible(of course he's also the prescriber of the benzo for all those years-he doesn't do that any more thankfully-he's been schooled) - Magnesium is not absorbed through the skin- at least there is no scientific evidence of it after study. 

  WTF-  All I can say is this sucks- I feel your pain (am in the middle of this fatigue) and have to hope that as time goes on these waves will be shorter and shorter- I do try to really appreciate the "normal" times more than I ever had-and I guess I have to look at that as a gift.  It's not easy!

 

Curious about the botox thing. Let me know how that goes please.

 

I got botox in my forehead a few times prebenzo life no issues.

I'm sensitive to a lot of things now in withdrawal, so I'm thinking I'm going to steer clear for a few years AFTER I'm healed. .... perhaps 5 years from now??? I'm not in any rush, but I'm curious as to how you do with it.

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So so sorry about your wave-  I also am in the middle of one- total fatigue- Just yesterday morning I was marveling how great I felt- then by mid afternoon I got hit.  I've had a few doc appts in last few days and took 1/2 tylenol pm- Whenever this happens I keep wondering what it was that triggered me-  I also had a botox injection in my forehead (vanity never leaves  :laugh: :laugh:)  I went to a functional medicine doc 6 months ago who also told me to soak with Epsom salt-  any wave after that i attributed to the Epsom.    When I told my primary care doc he said that it wasn't possible(of course he's also the prescriber of the benzo for all those years-he doesn't do that any more thankfully-he's been schooled) - Magnesium is not absorbed through the skin- at least there is no scientific evidence of it after study. 

  WTF-  All I can say is this sucks- I feel your pain (am in the middle of this fatigue) and have to hope that as time goes on these waves will be shorter and shorter- I do try to really appreciate the "normal" times more than I ever had-and I guess I have to look at that as a gift.  It's not easy!

 

Well all I know is that after certain meds and the epsom I get the same acute symptoms and they never show up anymore otherwise. I'm usually a person who is well schooled on research and evidence, but I think any of us who pay attention to that stuff know that you can have two studies who claim the very opposite of each other. So no matter what that study says, I know it was the epsom this time. In addition, many others I have chatted with have had the exact same experience. So I'll run with subjective "data" of others at this time.

 

Sorry about your doc...I'm thankful my primary is at least not dismissive. Its so angering bc I wish there was a test that could show definitely that what we are going through is real!

 

Well at least I'm sleeping a full night again. But my mornings are super crappy again, and everything is so hard.

I know it will eventually pass. Its just hard when you feel you've made some decent progress finally, and then have your body revolt against something seemingly so innocent...ugh.

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When your body is deprived of Magnesium for a long time it can be stimulating when you start to increase your levels. Just like B Vitamins as they do the same, particularly B12. Its not a "wave" or a setback. Its just your body trying to manage all the magnesium.

 

Edit: I shouldn't say deprived. I mean to say not getting as much as it used to.

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When your body is deprived of Magnesium for a long time it can be stimulating when you start to increase your levels. Just like B Vitamins as they do the same, particularly B12. Its not a "wave" or a setback. Its just your body trying to manage all the magnesium.

 

Edit: I shouldn't say deprived. I mean to say not getting as much as it used to.

 

That's simply not true. Supplements can be stimulating to sensitive CNS causing it to destabilise and cause symptoms

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When your body is deprived of Magnesium for a long time it can be stimulating when you start to increase your levels. Just like B Vitamins as they do the same, particularly B12. Its not a "wave" or a setback. Its just your body trying to manage all the magnesium.

 

Edit: I shouldn't say deprived. I mean to say not getting as much as it used to.

 

That's simply not true. Supplements can be stimulating to sensitive CNS causing it to destabilise and cause symptoms

 

"Simply not true". Feel free to look up on here of people going through B vitamin or Magnesium startup that found relief by pushing through the stimulatory phase. The threads exist.

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