This is the absolute best and most beneficial success story I have read. Thank you for being so thorough. Your narrative is strong, determined, full of care for the rest of of us, and worthy of keeping (I am going to save this.)
I was very attracted due to your many experiments with every kind of treatment you could get your hands on. And your claim that it did not work , or did not work well. I am familiar with many of those "treatments," and was really pleased to find someone who had used them, especially the hallucinogenics.
Your urgency in pushing us to take care of our bodies I share. However, I love finding someone who says , just do it, It doesn't matter how bad you feel. That push is something I need for the days when exercise (my best asset in my tool box) is not doable for whatever reasons.
You are so spot on that we must take on this iatrogenic illness ourselves, find things that are good for the growth of the mind, good for our bodies, and put the damn button to the side.
Stop seeing it as an option, and I will tell you why. If you use it, you will irreparably traumatize many people. It may be worth it to you to get out of this hellish existence, but it is not worth the damage it causes to anyone and everyone in your life.
I speak from experience. My first husband committed suicide, as have people I have know through the years. It may give them relief, but it sows a wide net of trauma to the survivors. They will be affected by it to varying degrees for the rest of their lives.
I am professional writer and artist (or was before I got sick) Your compressed success story is worthy of a book. Dig deeper. How did you change through the process? What ridiculous paranoia's and fears got their claws in you. What happened to your mind, and now that it is near healed, can you talk about the madness /insanity this toxin creates. What about your mate was so powerful and strong that they stayed with you?
Did you beat the shit out of anyone who said "Your still sick? That's ridiculous." Or threw platitudes at you. Or did not believe you. Or who shamed you. Benzo anger is a component of this, and not often explored.
I find that looking at the underlying trauma when I feel ways I don't want to helps me understand myself better. It doesn't make me feel better, but I need to get to the core to understand what is going on with my insane thinking.
It is a process of intense self discovery, or it can be.
I don't know how any of us survive when our [...] experience and post cessation experience is acute. I don't know how I get through every day, especially when the madness takes control.
You said it: Keep going.
I look forward to future posts from you.
Thank you again.
