Back after reinstatement.

Hi all,

 

I'm back on the forum after reinstating valium due to horrific anxiety Wellbutrin caused. I was put on Wellbutrin due to a very bad depressive episode/burnout caused by stress and SAD by my doctor. SSRI's don't agree with me at all, I seem to experience no positives from them countering depression or anxiety. I've also tried citalopram with the same poor results.

 

Since this is my 3rd time kicking valium, I'm extremely disappointed in myself that I let myself yet again fall into the benzo trap. The stories about kindling make me anxious and quite desperate. 

I've been tapering from 12 mg's and holding at 10 mg valium for at least the next two weeks.

I've also been prescribed Remeron/mirtazapine 30 mg to help with insomnia and counter depression.

 

Any words of encouragement and advice are greatly appreciated, I would love to hear from anyone, very much so.

 

Thanks in advance,

 

Tyler

Well first of all, please don't worry about kindling because we just don't know enough about it to say it's real and everyone who reinstates will suffer, there just hasn't been enough study.  And worrying won't do you a bit of good, in fact worry leads to stress and stress leads to increased symptoms so try not to focus on it.

 

Secondly, please don't beat yourself up about reinstating, you've been going through some difficult times and you need to be kind to yourself, none of us can know what you've had to deal with so there's no judgment from us.

 

You now have the benefit of experience, you know how to taper, you know what to expect, you have some tools at your disposal and you have us to lean on.  You're going to be okay, you got this. 

Welcome back Tyler.  I doubt you made the decision to return to benzos lightly, likely were feeling really rough.  Sometimes the choices we have and decisions we make are between two or more not-so-great options.  I admire your courage to come here and open up.  Please let us know how we can help you, you are among people who understand.

Thanks both to Pamster and Kate, I needed that. 

Tyler,

 

I am in the same boat as you -- third time tapering. Similar reason too as I had a burnout from stress, and the SSRI I was put on was so activating I was given Ativan, now Valium to be able to quell the extreme anxiety.  I'm on a lower dose than you but have an additional med, zyprexa, that I was put on with the idea that I am to lower the valium and go up on that -- and then eventually taper the zyprexa once I stabilize on the SSRI.

 

I too like you am here to taper the valium, (and in my case then I hope the zyprexa). 

 

We can do this. We've done it before, and we can do it again!

 

Best wishes,

 

G.

You know in the end it does not matter at all how long it took and how many times you had to start all over again. Each time you learn more about your body and yourself. Just never give up.

Tyler, welcome.  I can relate.  SSRIs and SNRIs did little for my panic and anxiety or depression at first.  So, I tried Wellbutrin and it helped, but also increased my anxiety.  So, I was given Klonopin to fight that.  Was on that combo for 20 years, but the last 5 really took its toll.

Tyler,

 

I am in the same boat as you -- third time tapering. Similar reason too as I had a burnout from stress, and the SSRI I was put on was so activating I was given Ativan, now Valium to be able to quell the extreme anxiety.  I'm on a lower dose than you but have an additional med, zyprexa, that I was put on with the idea that I am to lower the valium and go up on that -- and then eventually taper the zyprexa once I stabilize on the SSRI.

 

I too like you am here to taper the valium, (and in my case then I hope the zyprexa). 

 

We can do this. We've done it before, and we can do it again!

 

Best wishes,

 

G.

 

Thanks Gloria for your reply. We'll get there. Greetings from Holland 

You know in the end it does not matter at all how long it took and how many times you had to start all over again. Each time you learn more about your body and yourself. Just never give up.

 

Thanks Marigold. Extraordinary you've never reinstated, good for you 

You know in the end it does not matter at all how long it took and how many times you had to start all over again. Each time you learn more about your body and yourself. Just never give up.

 

Thanks Marigold. Extraordinary you've never reinstated, good for you 

 

.. I felt so deadly sick it was clear to me that I could not reinstate if I wanted to survive. Today I know that I genetically cannot handle these meds. And I was put on tons at the same time. I really almost died because of them.

You know in the end it does not matter at all how long it took and how many times you had to start all over again. Each time you learn more about your body and yourself. Just never give up.

 

Thanks Marigold. Extraordinary you've never reinstated, good for you 

 

.. I felt so deadly sick it was clear to me that I could not reinstate if I wanted to survive. Today I know that I genetically cannot handle these meds. And I was put on tons at the same time. I really almost died because of them.

 

I hear you Marigold and can relate. I tried meditation, yoga and lifting weights to try and combat my last burnout/depression/stress episode prior to reinstatement. Covid 19 isolation and dark weather didn't help much either.

You know in the end it does not matter at all how long it took and how many times you had to start all over again. Each time you learn more about your body and yourself. Just never give up.

 

Thanks Marigold. Extraordinary you've never reinstated, good for you 

 

.. I felt so deadly sick it was clear to me that I could not reinstate if I wanted to survive. Today I know that I genetically cannot handle these meds. And I was put on tons at the same time. I really almost died because of them.

 

I hear you Marigold and can relate. I tried meditation, yoga and lifting weights to try and combat my last burnout/depression/stress episode prior to reinstatement. Covid 19 isolation and dark weather didn't help much either.

 

Yes.. sometimes all we can do is to give up swimming and just go where the waves carry us. Until we find the strength to swim again and reach a better land.

Hi Tyler , and welcome .

 

You can beat this again .

Can I ask you if the Remeron is helping you ? On a depression and anxiety?

 

Carla