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Totally lost massive wave😢


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I am wondering if there are some symptoms that don't go but we learn to live with them, any thoughts? Anxiety and awful depression has eased, but the OCD type symptoms never truly go, just terrified that I'll end up with this for ever. As after 28 months has eased a little but really slow progress. Haven't read any success stories, but pondering whether all symptoms go forever. Or is it case residual symptoms linger but you just learn to function with them. I know others take long time to fully recover just get bit despondent at times. Had a lot family stress and the lockdown here has exasperarated recovery time I think.
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I assume you didn't have this issue before the meds?

 

I was one of those people who never had a window, and then it just faded. Believe me, you will heal. Some things just stick around for a long time. Some things feel almost linear for some, they did for me at times. Again, it heals. Sometimes the brain likes to hold on to the things that need the most fixing. It sounds dumb, but it's true. I like to think of it as a Chinese finger trap. The mind wants to pull from it, but it becomes stuck on it. Just tell yourself "this is normal" and eventually it will go.

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Never had any of these symptoms before. It's gradually got worse, almost seems as one intrusive thought eases another has to pop up. Never had a true window but some days def better than other. Did you recover completely then. Had a lot of family stress last couple months, keeping my hubby awake st night so that's probably prolonging recovery as well. Trying to believe I'll wake up and be me again one day!
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I'm trying just need get toxic family out my head at the moment. Least weather glorious here at moment!
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[91...]

leann, have you tried a different SSRI, starting with a lower dose? The neurosteroid raising SSRIs might be an options like prozac, zoloft or paxil. I tried very low dose zoloft, but it didn't do much. I also tried very low dose prozac but couldn't get high enough without a surge of anger. That said, I was only 6 months off with the prozac, so was too sensitive then. I am trying again now at 8 months off, starting with 1mg for 1 week, then 2mg.

 

I feel like the brain sometimes gets stuck in a groove. Sometimes it gets out fairly quickly but I have the same fear. I am at 8 months, and my fear of going crazy and this inner tension and feeling like I might lose control fades but so incredibly slowly. I fear at this rate, it will never go. I am in prison because of it - stuck either walking and walking or on my bed.

 

For this reason, I am trying to find treatments to help. Hence, the SSRI. I have also tried lyrica, but it is so sedating, I end up more anxious due to the haze. This is so hard.

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Trying to stay off any meds at the moment, don't blame you trying other things though. Things will improve, I'm not as bad as I was a few months ago. Going through lot of stress with toxic family last couple months which I think probably racked up symptoms bit, my husband been very stressed over it too.

You will improve, just the mental symptoms for me seem take forever to ease up at the moment, don't despair you will get better. I couldn't drive for about year, but have been driving bit last couple weeks. I'd be interested to hear if SSRI's help you, I've got friends they really helped.

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Renamed this post. Just wondering if the anxiety ever really goes completely. Couple months ago was really making bit progress, until my god awful famil tore my world apart.Initially the  OCD and anxiety was like being in acute again. Recently had odd day do cope bit better but never had a window and the OCD type symptoms never completely lift. My hay fever is awful so wondering if allergies can affect your nervous system.Just wondering after over 2 years of this do I just have try live with it and adjust my life accordingly. Get depressed when I read of others who recover in much shorter time, even though I know we are all different. Just need bit encouragement won't be stuck in this loop forever😪😰😢
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I'm sure you'll heal LeAnn, all that stress family has been holding you back a bit. Stress is a killer, and you're pretty early off the AD in the grand scheme of things.

 

I've actually just been doing a little googling as I tend to do when I'm having a bad day. I came across a few articles on treating  OCD with supplements and thought of you.

 

I'm not suggesting you take them, but you might find it interesting

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7066598/#:~:text=There%20are%20some%20supplements%20that,valerian%20root%2C%20curcumin%20and%20borage.

 

 

https://www.optimallivingdynamics.com/blog/the-22-best-natural-treatments-and-remedies-for-ocd

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Thanks for that, every supplement I've tried seems rev up symptoms sadly. Been doing exposure therapy for over year. Think because it's chemically induced OCD  type symptoms all normal recommendations don't seem to help, certainly not for me anyway. You are right about the family stress trying get past it but going take a while. Really frustrating as up to recently did actually seem be making progress, just bit down at moment. How did you get on with citalopram?
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No problems at the time, but realise now with hindsight I got tolerance. Stopped taking it without too much trouble, then got stressed out at work which put me into major WD. Nobody knew what it was, got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and put on valium. Now I'm here in a state after years of polydrugging and CT's because not 1 doctor knew what was going on...

 

To say I've lost faith in the medical community is an understatement.... But I'll survive

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leann,

 

Hang in there. Family stress can cause anyone symptoms and if you say your husband stay awake at night I'm sure it must be pretty bad. It sounds to me like that's exacerbating your situation. Hopefully that will pass soon and things will settle down for you. Warm and healing thoughts coming your way.

 

LiveLife

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Anxiety and sort of OCD type symptoms. Did have nausea , lack of appetite, depression , headaches for first few months. Only physical symptoms now is bad sinus affects my teeth. I think the others are right the family stress not helping, but the OCD/ anxiety never completely  lets up. Never had a window but few weeks ago did improve somewhat but never goes always lurking in background.
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In a massive wave really thought I was improving. Just feel totally lost almost like I'm in acute again. Just can't see it ever improving. All I get is waves never get a day without anxiety now family trying to destroy me as well. 2 years of this is way too much to bear.
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In a massive wave really thought I was improving. Just feel totally lost almost like I'm in acute again. Just can't see it ever improving. All I get is waves never get a day without anxiety now family trying to destroy me as well. 2 years of this is way too much to bear.

 

Hold on tight LeAnn.  You can do this.  Look at how far you’ve come.  You’ve started driving again. You have seen some improvements - hold onto them. I know it’s scary & horrendous what you are going through but you will heal.  You will get through this. Just keep believing.  Keep holding onto hope.

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Thanks Bess, just feeling this is no life just waiting for the next wave to hit all the time. Do wonder if I'm totally nuts some days. Keep trying forget about my toxic family but so damn hard when you get this rapid cycling of symptoms. How are you doing? Could put up with waves if got windows inbetween.
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Thanks Bess, just feeling this is no life just waiting for the next wave to hit all the time. Do wonder if I'm totally nuts some days. Keep trying forget about my toxic family but so damn hard when you get this rapid cycling of symptoms. How are you doing? Could put up with waves if got windows inbetween.

 

I know it doesn’t feel like it but you are improving. Your messages are sounding more positive , you are doing Well.  All you have to do is keep going. I know it’s hard. But you can do this.  It’s going to be ok. You are healing & you will heal.  Just keep going.

 

I’m in a brutal wave. I did get a window on Thursday - I still had symptoms during the window but no where near as bad as usual.  It was my first all day window.  I didn’t want to go to sleep because I was so scared of how I would wake up.  I’m

Still going, still breathing, still alive.  I honestly think that having windows makes the waves harder. & then you can dread the windows almost as you know hell is coming after the semi normality. You will get through this LeAnn. Everybody heals differently.  There is no rules.  If you don’t have windows this doesn’t mean you are not healing.  It just means that is your journey right now.  This will pass, you are not going to be this way forever: 

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[91...]

leann, there are a lot of people who need the help of some medication temporarily. The neurosteroid increasing SSRIs are the only ones approved for OCD because we need allopregnanolone to balance the GABA system in the brain. I also have a hard time with SSRIs due to the serotonin aspect, but have started taking prozac 1mg (I cut and weigh). I feel like it does make a difference. I am only on day 4, but feel a bit better each day. It is the only SSRI that has been shown to increase neurosteroids at very small doses (this was shown in rodents, so it is not certain in humans, though a Columbia professor in psychiatry was convinced by it and thought 2mg would be a good dose - I couldn't take that much but I am not as far out as you).

 

Anyway, this is a consideration, and likely quite low risk at this dose. I do believe that we all heal, but there are plenty of people who do take something and can heal faster. As I always say - there is risk in doing something, but there is also risk in doing nothing.

 

Hugs.

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Sorry not up to writing much everything just feels hopeless. I'm glad they are helping you fluffernutter, but it's drugs caused me to be in this nightmare, so thought of taking anything else is a non starter for me. Just last weekend actually thought I was on the home straight how wrong can you be. 2 years with no windows you end up loosing hope.
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[91...]

I understand, leann. I have often thought that myself. But not all drugs are created equally, and the short-term use of a medication might be worthwhile, when used thoughtfully and carefully (and in doses much lower than those prescribed). That said, I am here to support you no matter what you decide to do. You have been a kind friend to me, and I've appreciated it.

 

I also have used the Fisher Wallace stimulator (also sold as the Circadia). It is a drug-free device for depression. It has worked well for me - I have had it 5 years now. They are doing a lot of great trials with it now.

 

There's also a device called the Xen by Neuvana. It stimulates the vagus nerve in the ear to calm you down. Perhaps a thought.

 

There is also the NuCalm system, which was designed by a neuroscientist to help people with stress and has been used for brain injury. It is a bit pricey, but quite healing.

 

The Inner Balance by Heart Math is a great neurofeedback device for your iphone. I have found it to be quite nice, and is the least expensive of all options.

 

The most affordable of all is Headspace app for your iphone. It is a great meditation app run by an ex-Buddhist monk.

 

Last but not least, sending you healing hugs.  :hug:

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I understand, leann. I have often thought that myself. But not all drugs are created equally, and the short-term use of a medication might be worthwhile, when used thoughtfully and carefully (and in doses much lower than those prescribed). That said, I am here to support you no matter what you decide to do. You have been a kind friend to me, and I've appreciated it.

 

I also have used the Fisher Wallace stimulator (also sold as the Circadia). It is a drug-free device for depression. It has worked well for me - I have had it 5 years now. They are doing a lot of great trials with it now.

 

There's also a device called the Xen by Neuvana. It stimulates the vagus nerve in the ear to calm you down. Perhaps a thought.

 

There is also the NuCalm system, which was designed by a neuroscientist to help people with stress and has been used for brain injury. It is a bit pricey, but quite healing.

 

The Inner Balance by Heart Math is a great neurofeedback device for your iphone. I have found it to be quite nice, and is the least expensive of all options.

 

The most affordable of all is Headspace app for your iphone. It is a great meditation app run by an ex-Buddhist monk.

 

Last but not least, sending you healing hugs.  :hug:

 

Fluff you are just lovely xxx

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Thanks guys, being constantly let down by people in my life. Years of emotional abuse by my mother, still doing it even though she's gone. Last 2 weekends son promised to Skype, then he forgets and something better comes up. Sent friend had falling out with some flowers with really apologetic note, she said thank you but won't meet up.

Just feel the God's against me. You guys on here seem the only ones understand little things can send you in a downwards spiral with no escape.

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Thanks guys, being constantly let down by people in my life. Years of emotional abuse by my mother, still doing it even though she's gone. Last 2 weekends son promised to Skype, then he forgets and something better comes up. Sent friend had falling out with some flowers with really apologetic note, she said thank you but won't meet up.

Just feel the God's against me. You guys on here seem the only ones understand little things can send you in a downwards spiral with no escape.

 

You are gonna get through this. Try to be as positive as you can. Good kind self talk. You will heal. Just keep breathing - that’s all you gotta do xx

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Hope you are doing better Bess, given up on recovery just have try and make best of how limited my life is now. Just seem be getting rapid cycling of symptoms now really distressing.
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