To hold more or start Microtaper?

Hi everyone, I could really use your help...”

You may have read some of my posts before. In a nutshell. I’ve tried to c/o to Valium from Ativan but first I just introduced Valium 2.5mg a few days then up to 5mg, I didn’t feel right from the start but thought I needed to adjust to it. I only reduced my Ativan dose 0.25mg after being on Valium for nearly 2 months. I wasn’t doing well with the addition of Valium but I stupidly reduced anyway.

I’ve been bad ever since... this was since 25th December (reduced Ativan dose). After 5 weeks and further deterioration my Dr & I decided to try taper Valium over 6 weeks and maintain the same dose of Ativan. I was already sick but got worse. Since Jan I have been housebound. I’ve been admitted to hospital with full body movements lasting up to 18 hours a day. Of course they don’t believe in benzo withdrawal. I’ve been diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder. I started seeing a physio on Monday specific for this condition and hopefully re-train the brain to stop moving.

My other symptoms are intense Akathesia, anxiety, panic, insomnia, brain pain, tinnitus, nausea, weakness, loss of appetite, agoraphobia. I’ve chatted in the long hold group (amazing people!) and they all say to wait to stabilise. I’ve seen no improvement. I’ve waited 10 weeks since Valium taper and made no other dose changes to my Ativan. The Ativan doesn’t work for me at all. Am I in tolerance withdrawal? Should I start a microtaper? I have the scales ready to go... or hold longer? Hold only works for some people but not all right? How long is too long to hold? I’d rather be functional and taper but I haven’t been functional since my reduction in December.

I’m at a loss. My doctor wants me to stablise by holding longer. At least I’ve got a good doctor that will keep prescribing and allow me to microtaper.

I’m at a loss. I’ve been so sick for so long now, any advice would be helpful.

Switching to a long acting alternative is not an option. I’m too unstable and tried one off of a few and I get no relief. I’m not keen to compound my tablets or use a liquid. I’m super sensitive to everything (like most people).

Really tough, and I know you will find someone more knowledgeable to chime in.

Me personally, I was on Ativan and switched to Clonazepam instead which is way less of a jump than Valium. I also increased the dosage, the Ativan was doing nothing for me, at all... I would still have insomnia with ativan whereas 1mg of Clonazepam , and I slept like a well behaved baby. I was taking .5mg of ativan x2 a day and switched then to .5mg of clonazepam 2x a day (which they say supposedly is twice as strong as ativan) so then I was able to become calm again, and sleep again, and then start thinking of a logical way to taper (for me now its been liquid taper) but I think being stable is the first order of things... Hope someone flies in here with more experience.. this isn't medical advice obviously you discuss all this with your psyc

Thank you for your reply Rex.

I tried Clonazepam once and it did absolutely nothing. Not sure if it’s also a drug that needs to build up in the system.

Thanks again for the suggestion. This experience has really made me so scared to try anything new, including liquid.

I regret now not tapering the Ativan and doing a DMT.

I hope others can make some suggestions.

Aussiegal I am so sorry you are struggling so hard.  You can see in my signature how my journey has been  with Ativan.  I switched to liquid last November.  The bigger cuts I made in the beginning caught up to me so I wanted to switch to the liquid so I could make smaller reductions.  I decided to hold the end of February I held for 10 weeks I couldn't see any improvement so this past week I started a very slow taper.  I feel bad everyday especially having anxiety, panic & depression so I decided to try the slow taper.  I kinda of felt like I did when I developed dependence and that's when I started my taper so I hope and pray that I am on the right path now..  I'm decreasing .0001 mg/day.  I wasn't brave enough do try using scales so that's why I chose liquid.

Praying you can get some relief and good answers.

I know a lot of people can hold long enough to feel better but I don't think that I am one of them...so I just had to try to move on.

Dianedeedee,

I think we are on a similar journey. Did you feel any relief when you switched to liquid? I’m too nervous to change meds or compound liquid after my Valium experience. The liquid is great because you can make such small cuts. The scales only allow 0.001mg cuts and the scales can be inaccurate (trying not to focus on this).

Do you feel worse since your daily cuts? Or the same? I know it’s different for everyone but I’m curious. I like you developed dependence before I started tapering so I’ve never felt good but I was more functional than now.

I feel like you did at 10 weeks....stuck.

I hope your DMT starts to work for you. Maybe your body will get use to it.

Please stay in touch. If I find some relief, I promise to let you in on my little secret.

Thinking of you.

No I didn't feel any better because I gradually switched to liquid but I also made a cut which I don't think I should have.  I should have switched held for a week or two then tapered.  My liquid is an intensol so it is ready to dilute with water.  No I don't feel any worse since I started the daily cuts i feel about the same.  Though tonight, of course at bedtime and its now 1:45 am, I am having a good window...can't complain because I cherish all windows.  I usually sleep well I take my largest dose at bedtime.

Yes we need to keep in touch.

Praying for you! 

A window is promising! I haven’t had a window since February 1. If I had a window I feel like there’s hope and some healing. I’m sorry you’re awake at this time but I’m glad you’re ok and usually sleep well.

I don’t sleep well at all 1 - 3 hours which makes everything worse. Ativan/Lorazapam in Australia needs to be compounded. None of the pharmacists here have had to for anyone before which makes me super nervous. I can use the scale but the cuts will be larger and I’ll need to hold but I suppose any reduction is progress.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Sofia 🤗

Sofia, I am so sorry you haven't had a window in such a long time they do give us a little hope.

I understand your uneasiness about the compounding I would be too.

Praying your day is going better.

Hugs!