Hello i’ve been on Valium 1-2 mg per day went to stop and it was horrendous!

Hello my name is Kitty11 I am in the film industry and took maybe one or 2 mg as needed for panic attacks. In the last couple years I was taking daily 1 to 2 mg when I went to stop I didn’t realize this was a benzodiazepine I know it sounds ignorant especially with my background which is a former EMT and some other educational background in chemistry etc. it was absolutely hellish! I then did a liquid taper but hit a brick wall sort of speak when the background rate or 200hr half life rather caught up with me the 14th day in -I did read everything I could on PharmaKinetics etc. and I am now doing a very slow taper I am not sure why I am so sensitive to this drug it’s long-acting and is supposed to be a gentle way of getting off (it is 5mg valium /Diazepam generic I never have taken the whole 5 mg I’m always just taking up till about 2 mg)but I’m really afraid of these withdrawal symptoms. I found myself at 3/10 of a cc and I was doing so good and really happy!!(dosing only in the morning) caffeine made me very sensitive so I gave up caffeine I don’t smoke or drink or do any other drugs. I am very healthy otherwise extremely active and enjoy hiking traveling etc. my husband is a physician and is helping me with mytaper . Despite a wonderful support system I’m very frightened about this experience. I got to the point where I was having heart palpitations and many of the symptoms that people have mentioned on here the neuropathy in the feet Headaches and the flight or fight feeling which is just awful it’s like being tortured- I use prayer and meditation I really believe in God and God has truly been helping me- I also realize that God is the sensible scientific God and I have received guidance by finding different wonderful info Dr. Ashton manual Dr. Peterson other peoples individual experience on YouTube and I was blessed to find this one thank God! The only one that I would even consider joining. So thank you for allowing me to do so I hope and pray I can get some help here from others that are suffering from this awful terrible drug that I wish I never went on if I truly was smart enough to read more about it before taking it. In my mind I didn’t even know it was a Benzodiazepine I thought it was a different drugs and Xanax and the others I feel very ignorant and foolish but here I am now dependent not addicted I do not like this drug in anyway shape or form that’s why I tried to stop first it seemed helpful but then I didn’t like the side effects and when I went to stop I couldn’t and so now I’m doing a slow taper but when I got to a certain point it just reached a horrible withdrawal point and I had to unfortunately reinstate I guess it’s called? Or go back up so now I’m back up to 3 mg a day and I feel very sluggish it makes you feel depressed and lethargic I’m usually extremely energetic happy person with tons of Energy I don’t suffer from bulimia or anorexia I love food but unfortunately I’ve lost weight too much weight I’m 5 foot five and 119 ) so trying to keep up food with protein shakes other good nutritional augmentations etc. and electrolytes. I appreciate any advice with titration I am obviously going to try to go five or 10% per month really slow but right now as I reinstate I’m trying to find my level I don’t know how I can feel so good at 3/10 cc per day (my solution is 30 mL liquid suspension and 30 mg of Valium 1 mL (cc)equals 1 mg/mL and then I was way past the 14 day day mark  I thought it must be the 200 hour background rate I know this is a bit Stream of consciousness writing forgive me I’m using Siri I have a really awful shoulder pain on the right side radiating down so I can’t really text very well. The morning is the worst of my symptoms shortness of breath really bad pain sensitivity to light and sound. My kids are grown and out of the house things on my husband as were very supportive he is loving and awesome he’s a surgeon and a doctor but he is even bewildered by how insane this drug is I am not saying that I would do this but if there was a class action lawsuit against the makers of this disgusting benzodiazepine racket I will join that class action lawsuit in a second if you knew how successful I’ve been in my life how active I was and what I am reduced to now it is just heartbreaking for any human being to go through this my compassion goes out to anybody addicted to anything or depending on anything this is not a drug that I like or enjoy or seek we’re at first it seem to help as my panic attacks now it just causes very severe once I’m able to get some things done around the house but I’m pretty much in bed all morning it’s just really ridiculous I’m sorry to complain I finally am reaching out I have years of not even talking about this to anyone not even my own family. I know that I am on a low-dose and I’m lucky to be on diazepam a long acting I have Pharmacy background I understand bio chemistry I have a background in bio chem (minor)Even with my educational background I had no idea how crazy this drug is with its whack-a-mole symptoms that come with it! Thank you for listening to my frustrations :-) I try to stay positive I’m a very positive person I do believe God will get us all through this ❤️I do believe with all my heart I will get off the Valium eventually/ I don’t have kindling because when I take it I do get relief (and no prior use in my lifetime and no cold turkey, I’ve never had alcohol in my life or any other benzodiazepine drugs)  I just don’t know how far I should go back up and then go slower in my titration going back down. I’ve never been on this medication before in my life and never took any other drug legal or illegal or of been addicted or dependent on any other drugs before this except maybe caffeine in chocolate :-) thank you for listening kitty my basic question is this:

 

Went down to 3/10 of a cc was doing really awesome extremely functional everything was going great! Then all the sudden boom I’m in horrendous withdrawal I had had that withdrawal as I was going down from 1.5 mg per day but it was manageable with different stomach medications etc. I made sure not to take them at the same time as the dose etc. now at this point I just don’t know when I reinstate at one point I should stop and just go through some of the withdrawal total settles in I was thinking 2 mg? Maybe three which is higher than my initial usage! I just don’t know what else to do I don’t wanna go too far up I am getting some relief i’ve tried to titrate very slowly going back up as I reinstate to those in which I then could gently slowly taper like maybe - 5% for a month. Everybody’s brain it’s different thank you again for any help you can give! If anyone knows of any other comfort natural remedies please feel free to let me know thank you so much especially for the panicky racing heart which I believe is a physical thing it’s not just a panic attack it’s the drug itself working on my central nervous system with a lack of the drug causing an up regulation in my flight or fight without any breaks to stop it or temper it)

Hello Kitty11, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

Please don't beat yourself up for not fully understanding the consequences of taking this drug, none of us knew the terror we'd be facing, no one warned us so please, don't add to your misery by blaming yourself.

 

I can see you've done some studying of your situation and I'm glad to see you're familiar with Professor Ashton but many feel that even her tapers were a bit too fast, so they slow it down and as long as you have a doctor willing to help you taper slowly, this might be the way to go for you.

 

Please make yourself at home, you're among friends here.  I'll give you some links to help you find your way around the forum but feel free to post wherever you want.

 

Pamster

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper Plans)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

 

 

Thank  you very much Pamster!🙏🌷 You are very kind and insightful. somehow I just feel a sense of relief knowing that there are others out there Who  understand and comprehend What this is like to go through. When I read dr. Peterson‘s experience five rehabs in North America and then having to go to Serbia that didn’t exactly reassure me-I hope and pray others that feel alone find this information as well so they don’t feel like they&  (I)  going crazy.☺️ I’ve always been extremely logical. symptoms were very confusing initially because they mimic so many illnesses. also when I researched information on magnesium D3 potassium there is conflicting data, I’ve chosen personally to take certain supplements-I have found that the magnesium helps with sleep and relax in my muscles but I’ve also seen data that says to be careful with its usage. I am also using a very low-dose 2.5 mL of a liquid version of hydroxyzine  (vistril) i’m not advising anyone to do this, however  i’m wondering if anyone else on the board has use this as well to help with the flight or fight feeling? I know it can cause tachycardia (if used in higher amounts for too long in conjunction with the Benzodiazepine )  So I know I need to worry about that as well. but I have found it shows the ignorance with many physicians including my own husband Who likes his colleagues thought of valium as a  time proven medication for anxiety. My husband  who is extremely intelligent- practiced for almost 40 years he’s 20 years older than myself. He said he rarely prescribed Benzodiazepine, instead he would give Atarax,  hydroxyzine hydrochloride for anxiety. I wish some more natural ways of reducing my pulse rate and heart rate when this flight or fight feeling which is as most of you know extremely uncomfortable along with the neuropathic pins and needles pain are usually get it at the bottom Of my feet. He was just as astonished as myself by my symptoms and how varied they are. I’m very thankful to be a part of this community and the bravery and fortitude that I have seen in both written testimony and YouTube videos is very inspiring and gives me great hope! Thank you again, best wishes always, Kitty11 🐈‍⬛ 🐾🐾

It looks as if you've found some supplements and medications to aid in your symptoms, we have many discussions on these two boards if you'd like to use the search function or start a new thread for questions.

 

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