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26 months clonazepam free


[J ...]

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Wow it’s hard to believe it’s been over two years, but I am pleased to say I feel great. I am the happiest I have been in an exceptionally long time as my life has gotten so much better the last four to six months. I have a girlfriend whom I have dated for over four months. I adore her and she seems to adore me. I have feelings and emotions I haven’t felt in a very long time.

 

(My marriage had deteriorated over 20 years and the benzo played a huge role IMO. I am now divorced over four years.)

 

We laugh all the time which is great therapy and a great sign I am living again. We share emotions! We share the warmth that can only come from a close relationship. We share the ending of one journey and the beginning of another. My girlfriend and I go for walks, visit outdoor breweries, parks, listen to music and enjoy the beautiful moments in life. And importantly, she accepts my dog as part of our life. LOL! Life is good! I think I am in love. I am living again!

 

I am now 64 and I feel I have to make up for lost time, repair relationships, stay healthy and make everyday count. My GF is a traveler which is great, makes me get up and go.

 

I get emotional thinking about. She knows of my benzo story but I don’t talk about the issue that often now, that part of my life is behind me. I will break down if I think about the long days in the recovery process. Thankfully, those days are behind me. Its very hard for me to discuss my benzo journey to people as I get visibly upset and emotional, it was very hard many days. But I dont really talk about it anymore because as my GF says I need to crawl out of that pit and she is right as always....

 

As I have said previous posts, I lost over 30 lbs last year which helped in many ways. It is hard to take care of yourself when you feel bad, but I am convinced that losing the weight helped in my healing and overall health. I changed my eating habits as I eat vegetables, fruits, lean meats and eliminated fatty foods. I do splurge and enjoy chicken wings and beer every few weeks. I enjoy my beers, in moderation of course.

 

I use a fitbit to monitor my sleep and heartrate. What actually caused me to begin my journey to get off the benzo was during a day surgery March 2018 where my heart rate fell dangerously low, high 20’s to low 30’s. The dr was honest in saying that the benzo was most likely what caused the low heartrate. My fitbit graphs my heart rate since before my taper, I can clearly see the events and the corresponding heart rates related to my taper and post taper. I do exercise by lifting weights and walking with my GF.

 

Last year I noticed my heart rate fell into the low 30’s during my sleep. I was afraid I would wake up dead which made me seek out a cardiologist. I relayed my benzo use et al., he blew it off but after a couple of tests my heart is in great shape. My heart rate has increased by several beat/min as it has increased by five to 10 beats resting….Using the sleep patterns helped me to realize my sleep patterns as well. It helped IMO. When I can get seven hours of sleep I am golden. I have cycles where I sleep great and some where I don’t…could be my age.

 

Early in my taper I had the worst floaters and blurry vision which has improved drastically, colors are vivid as I love seeing the colors of the outdoors. I sleep much better although I still struggle on occasions (sleeping with my woman helps..LOL). Food tastes so much better, I eat slower now and enjoy the tastes and smells. I have emotions again as I laugh hard and often. I am more positive in my thoughts (no more crazy intrusive thoughts) and I look forward to getting up and starting my day. My job is better. My cognitive skills are drastically improved, I don’t take things as serious as I used to. I keep my life drama free, and I run from stressful situations. I thank God for every day now!

 

For those coming behind me I am telling this story to tell you there is HOPE, it too will happen to you. This time last year I was feeling better but nothing like today. When I began my taper and then my benzo free journey, I would visit BB’s to read the stories of those that provided any clue of hope or as to how and when I would get better. I tell my story so others will continue their fight.

 

In addition, I tell my story to medical professionals that will take the time to listen. I am quick to correct them when necessary. My daughter who is studying to work in the medical profession has taken interest in the damage benzo’s cause. For those that remember me, my relationship with her has improved as well. It was a lot for a 19 to 20-year-old to understand, it is difficult for anyone on the outside looking in to understand the fight going on in our head and bodies.

 

Am I healed? I don’t know but I feel great most days. I was given a great report of my health a few weeks ago, dr said I was as healthy as most 40-year-olds (I am 64). I still feel as I have some room to improve, mostly with my sleep. But life is so much better. I use melatonin and 50 mg of trazadone to aid my sleeping. My goal is to eliminate the trazadone in the near future.

 

To all those out there, I often pray for you. Keep in the fight, make yourself get up and go for a walk or something. I know it’s hard, it’s extremely hard but try to enjoy the small things. Life will get better.

 

God Bless all of you!

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Congrats, looking fwd to this milestone myself. Thank you for your well written journey.

 

From an 18monther

 

-Kanoba

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Thank you for posting this. I’m 8 months off klonopin and struggling with vision and muscle issues. Your post gives me hope my vision will clear up in time!
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Well that certainly packed a punch of positivity my way and hopefully for everyone else!

You have been on a long tiring journey and the end is so very near, it’s so much worth it though, recovery can be extremely overwhelming at times, especially with all the twists and turns along the way, it truly is a test of stamina and courage.

Hope will carry us, perseverance will ensure we succeed and time will heal us completely.

Never ever give up the fight because this fight is for our lives.

 

You got this one in the bag my friend  :thumbsup:

 

Banana Man...aka...Colin.

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  • 2 weeks later...
[1a...]

Way to go J Stone

 

So happy for you!

 

You sound like you have found a soul mate, which is great.

I'm also happy to hear the healing in your relationship with your daughter.

Mine are 15 and 18, it has been so hard on them and continues to be.

 

Congrats again and enjoy life.

 

Winnie

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Banana Man,

 

I have memorized your qoute "Hope will carry us, perseverance will ensure we succeed and time will heal us completely." That is a great mantra....and so very true..

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This is one of the most hopeful updates ever posted

Thank you!!!!  xx

 

I took a still shot of banana man’s quote. Inspiring!!

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