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Losing coordination and ability to use muscles


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Hi skyglinder,

Just check to see how you are doing and where you are with the tapering.

 

I can validate you that the tiny dose effects are not in your head, my explosive symptoms flooded in on the second day I jumped ( 0.1 valium).

 

As valium was a double sided sword to me, my first 6 months off was worse in wd, but my muscle started build up the same time.

 

You are able to walk 2 miles says your muscle is still not too weak. I couldn t lift an empty cut during my taper.

 

Now I'm 2 yrs off, if not for the insane sensitivity to multiple chemicals which can highly disable a normal person by itself, my muscle strength recovered a lot even I didn't do any strength training, it's just that removing the poison valium stopped muscle atrophy.

 

 

 

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I am at 0.009 mg/day of clonazepam. Yesterday I got hit with vertigo. My head spins every time I move it, and I get nauseous and horribly dizzy. I can’t continue to work, drive, walk, or even eat because of this. Did this happen to you? How long did it take to resolve? I no longer want to live.
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I'm almost 6months off completely, at first many times I questioned your symptoms because they sounded ridiculous in how much pain that would be, but honestly this madness is real, about 4weeks in a was hit with my legs feeling like tree stumps, 5 months later every day almost is similar for some reason they are insanely tight, vertigo hits me on off every few weeks, and it's so random , like today was in a store and suddenly it feels as if ur drunk. Muscle weakness is insane, I get dripping sweat of my forehead in like minutes if I'm doing physical work, beat exhausted where muscles tighten to near cramp up and just flushing as if I did 10 mile marathon, I need to look for job as been almost 6 months out of work since jumping off, but honestly I'm scared. Now granted a lot of stuff I feel is amplified anxiety but that in turn tenses up my entire body and causes panic exhaustion. Whish I knew answer or timeframe when it will stop, as it's mad to think 6 months fully clean and one would still be terrorised.

 

Now with all the terror of course there's many days where your operational, and stuff like headaches hit just once every couple weeks, and day to day just blends and you go as is, without thinking it's benzo this or that, but life does suck as for me I feel like last ten years I've lived in a Dreamworld in terms how easy was it to skim trough life where some years seem with no recollection of memory as if I jumped trough them. Your continued struggle makes me believe that no matter how long we used but actual recovery propably takes at least a year.

As my brains mood feel like they actually where damaged to the point where no days I feel any real emotions, dunno if anxiety or depression but it's like entire brain parts are numb and feels like no stimulation happens in terms feeling glad excited or grateful it's empty. Don't know honestly if it's benzos changing everything in brains, but do feel your pain, as it is manageable but once hit with symptoms feels as every logical reason goes out the window and wave of anxiety and terror takes over.

 

I might seek some books or podcasts on anxiety, as seems nothing more that can be done, just hope in another few months it will get better, and hope it happens to you buddy as well.

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Yes, I hope you heal soon as well. I am very frightened at what these last cuts will bring. Already, life is intolerable. I can’t stand the pain and suffering anymore. My sleep, if you want to call it that, is short and highly fragmented. I sleep in 15 minute increments and wake up in terror with severe burning skin. Now, rolling over in bed makes my head spin. I can’t feel light touch anywhere on my body, and am even losing the ability to feel pain. My skin feels like rubber. I have no way to calm myself anymore. I never get sleepy anymore either. I have POTS as well, do heart races all of the time. That drug has taken away my entire life. I am losing hope fast. Has anyone really recovered from such a nightmare?
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Well, I am down to 0.008 mg/day, and I am suffering badly with new horrible symptoms. Last week I developed vertigo, and my head spins when I roll over in bed. I am frightened. Sometimes I have to hold onto the wall to walk. Also, I am in a constant state of anxiety, 24/7. Absolutely horrible. My sleep is non-existent now. I lay in bed all night and suffer. I never get sleepy tired anymore. I don’t know how to survive this, or to endure what is to come as I taper to zero. Who has experienced this and recovered? I am frightened of what the future holds in store for me. Thoughts?
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Hi All,

I have been off that rat poison for ten days, but I am suffering horribly. My insomnia is very bad. I wake up in a panic with burning skin at 2-3 am from the normal cortisol rush and cannot get back to sleep. I tried Benadryl, but that makes things much, much worse, so I don’t take anything for sleep now except for melatonin. I am dizzy all the time and have really bad headaches. All my muscles and joints hurt, and I can’t exercise or do the simplest things without my heart rate going really high due to POTS. I am finding things are getting worse, not better. I also have severe abdominal spasms and cramping, especially at night, from dystonia. I don’t see this ending well for me.

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Skyglider - Stay strong my friend. Keep plugging away. One day at a time. You will heal. Things will get better. It is awesome that you are finally off the filthy rat poison.
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Skyglider. After 10 days, it is normal to feel like this. The acute phase is not pleasant. But you are on the right side of the recovery, and you are finally free after a painful dose reduction. And you will heal.
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I am three months out, feeling better now.  Week two for me was bad, but remember it is your body healing.  Stay strong ...things get better!
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Hey skyglider

I know it is unbelievable to imagine that a person can bear this much pain. It truly is. I wish I could fix it for you. All I can off is this:

I did what you are doing

I made through the unthinkable

It was the most unbearable, horrific thing...But I somehow survived it.

The human body and mind are more powerful than we ever think

I know you desperately want it to stop...

I did too...every second of every hour.

Just know that it is survivable!

You can and will make it!

And maybe even come out the other side like me....without any fear or anxiety left. Like none! It's like it all got used up or something.

Keep effing going

Do not give up

:smitten:

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
I am not doing well. I am five weeks off of the poison. Sleep is horrible and I only get two hours of broken sleep per night. I have severe abdominal muscle cramps and spasms. I am dizzy all of the time. I can’t feel my skin and I am losing control over my muscles. I have no hope left.
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I am not doing well. I am five weeks off of the poison. Sleep is horrible and I only get two hours of broken sleep per night. I have severe abdominal muscle cramps and spasms. I am dizzy all of the time. I can’t feel my skin and I am losing control over my muscles. I have no hope left.

 

Wow. Five weeks off the poison. Congrats. Keep pushing along. One day at a time. Very soon it will be 6 weeks, and then 7 weeks, and onwards. I hope things get better in time.

 

Have you tried deep breathing exercises to help calm things down?

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I am not doing well. I am five weeks off of the poison. Sleep is horrible and I only get two hours of broken sleep per night. I have severe abdominal muscle cramps and spasms. I am dizzy all of the time. I can’t feel my skin and I am losing control over my muscles. I have no hope left.

 

I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this. I too had a horrible taper of Xanax that I only took .25mg per day for 2 months. I then started getting interdose WD, and had to research. My doc never warned me of this horrible poison. I was basically in perpetual WD the whole time I tried to come down.  I tried to taper for 4 months and each time my burning skin got worse.  I had the extreme chemical anxiety and other symptoms. I only made it down 12% of my dosage. Each time I took a dose it was worse and my skin burned so badly each time I tried to come down.  I think I had a paradoxical reaction from the very start.

I finally decided to go to detox 3 weeks ago to get it out of my system so I could begin to heal. I’m still suffering the burning skin and scalp, anxiety and  fear. The one thing that has helped with sleep is hydroxyzine.

Perhaps you can try it. It’s basically a prescription strength amplified Benadryl but a different type of medicine. (I can’t take the Benadryl as my body reacts poorly). I started the hydroxyzine after detox and it helps with anxiety too. You can take it as needed. No taper involved. It’s truly helped me with sleep. I was so worn out from lack of sleep.

So I just wanted to mention this to you. I am so sorry for your distress and especially the burning skin.

I understand it completely and have dealt with it for 5 months. It’s my worst symptom of pure torment, and feels like hot lava. It has worn me down. I use nylon ice packs at night, and take warm baths, and cool showers.

I think the most important part of healing is sleep. I was only getting a few hours sleep just like you.

The hydroxyzine has changed that for me, and gives me more strength by getting good sleep, thank goodness. I take it 4 times a day.  I’m hoping this might help you too. I’m glad we are both off the poison. I regret not researching it when my doc prescribed it. I’ve still managed to work (remote) and do my waking each day. I pray for healing everyday.  God bless you with renewed strength and healing. Lord help us. 🙏❤️

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Skyglider - My neurologist recently prescribed low-dose amitriptyline (10mg) for anxiety and sleep. I take 5mg (cut the tablet in half) and it still knocks me out nicely. I have to take it early (around 9pm), otherwise I wake up groggy and drowsy. Hopefully this information can be useful and helpful for you.
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Hi darkarchon,

Thanks for the info about the drug that helps you sleep, but I am now scared to death of any drug that affects the brain since I seen to always get horrible withdrawal effects from them. In fact, first search under Google came up with this link:  https://patient.info/forums/discuss/warning-amitriptyline-withdrawal-is-very-scary--495239  Which doesn’t paint a pretty picture of the withdrawal. I was never given informed consent about any of the poisons I was prescribed by any of the doctors. Bottom line is doctors bury their mistakes, never trust them.

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  • 4 weeks later...
I have been off that rat poison for over 2.5 months, and my cramping is getting worse not better. Last night I was doubled over in severe pain. Again, has anyone recovered from this crap? I am losing hope fast.
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Yes, recovery is possible but I wish each minute didn't last a day and the days didn't last a week, time moves so slowly when you're in this much pain, I'm so sorry.
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my arms cramped often during the nights after I jumped. Cramps faded away over time. First 4 months were quite bad but after the first year it was already much easier. Novadays I do not have cramps. I’m 4 years off.
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I sleep in 15 minute increments and wake up in terror with severe burning skin.

 

This was my exact experience when I was on klonopin after the drug literally pooped out on me. Hang in there friend.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have been off that rat poison for over 2.5 months

 

Congrats on being free for 2.5 months. That is a major accomplishment. Keep pushing onwards. Don't stop. One day at a time. Life will get better.

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