Anxiety is over the top today - need someone to hold my hand

Suffering so bad from anxiety right now. Feel like I am crawling out of my skin.

 

I am so weepy, so sad. I need someone to give me some encouragement. My husband is great but he gets angry when I tell him that he doesn't understand. I am struggling right now.

 

Please help me. This is so challenging.

Hey Chanterelle.  Anxiety is really tough.  I am so sorry.  You can do this!  What are you doing to cope with it?

Honey just hang on and distract x it’s so hard but u can survive this. It’s only a feeling, it can’t hurt you. It’s so hard to fight the feelings but try to remind urself it can’t hurt you xx

I can relate, my anxiety has been creeping up on me the last couple of weeks.  It is hard for others to understand that have not been on this journey, how could they?  I can’t even begin to describe it as there is no rhyme or reason to the symptoms coming and going.

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

I’m so sorry sea salt x yes it is a beast. Just gotta tell the anxiety to shut the ———— up. 🛑 ✋

 

But some days that is hard to do.

 

At least we aren’t alone and we all know this symptom well x

Thanks for all of your replies. The worst of it seems to have passed but still feeling a bit anxious but I can cope with that. This was just so overwhelming. I could feel my entire body vibrate and I was crying so hard.

 

I ended up taking some tumeric mixed with oil and pepper and eating that with some greens. Seems to have helped a bit. I also took my probiotic which seems to help and some chaga tea. My husband was very supportive and ended up making supper.

 

I took my evening dose of Clonazepam and it calmed things down considerably. We went for a nice evening walk which was nice and chatted. Lately, when we go for rides, I cry a lot but I think walking soothes me. I haven't been able to go for walks lately because it has been raining quite a bit. There is a very nice trail across my street (I live in a hamlet which has a lot of wooded areas and green space with bunnies etc) and I like going to walk there with my husband or by myself. If I go by myself, I bring along my MP3 player because I play this recording that I found online which calms me down (works great at night).

 

Here it is if anyone is interested in listening to it. It is free on Youtube but I ended up purchasing the entire collection because I was impressed by how well it worked for me.

. It's called Anxiety & Depression Relief - Binaural Beats & Isochronic Tones (With Subliminal Messages). It seems to work for me but today I needed more and I could feel my entire body just trembling with anxiety and this uncontrollable feeling of fear.

 

I know that last night I took a supplement recommended by my Naturopath Doctor which consists of Magnesium, a low dose of melatonine and a bit of gaba. It works real well to put me to sleep but I seem to get these really vivid dreams lately where before it was helping my anxieties by now I am finding it makes it worse. That feeling of anxiety started when I got up also. Lasted for several hours.

 

I am doing another cut next week which is closely supervised by a specialist in slow tapering (he is a pharmacist as well as an expert in tapering from benzos).  I will talking to him about this and see what he suggests.

 

 

I can relate, my anxiety has been creeping up on me the last couple of weeks.  It is hard for others to understand that have not been on this journey, how could they?  I can’t even begin to describe it as there is no rhyme or reason to the symptoms coming and going.

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

Thanks for writing this. This is exactly how I feel. I don't know how to explain this to others as they need to experience it to understand. And yes, I also feel that these symptoms come on all of a sudden after weeks of feeling calmer. I really don't like to be asked things like ''What is making you anxious. Perhaps we can talk it out''. It doesn't work like that. It just is. I can't make it go away like that by talking about it. It has to run its course.

It is just hard because like there is no rhyme or reason for it to be coming on but it still does. You can feel perfectly fine and have an OK week and it just happens. I was crying my eyes out over stories of puppies, kittens, anything that was removely moving or emotional.

 

Chanterelle, sorry you are having a tough time.  The good thing is a lot of people here know what it feels like. 

 

I came very close earlier today to saying “screw this, I’m just going back on Klonopin for good.”  It’s definitely the closest I’ve come to that yet.  The anxiety was maddening and I felt like I was losing control.  Like I was crawling out of my skin.  In the midst of it, it’s hard to think it’s going to stop but it does.  I think our bodies eventually get so tired of being anxious that it wears out and starts relaxing a bit. 

I can relate, my anxiety has been creeping up on me the last couple of weeks.  It is hard for others to understand that have not been on this journey, how could they?  I can’t even begin to describe it as there is no rhyme or reason to the symptoms coming and going.

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

Thanks for writing this. This is exactly how I feel. I don't know how to explain this to others as they need to experience it to understand. And yes, I also feel that these symptoms come on all of a sudden after weeks of feeling calmer. I really don't like to be asked things like ''What is making you anxious. Perhaps we can talk it out''. It doesn't work like that. It just is. I can't make it go away like that by talking about it. It has to run its course.

It is just hard because like there is no rhyme or reason for it to be coming on but it still does. You can feel perfectly fine and have an OK week and it just happens. I was crying my eyes out over stories of puppies, kittens, anything that was removely moving or emotional.

 

I’m LOL’ing about your “let’s talk it out” comment.  My wife has learned that’s useless.  I guess she’s seen enough now where she knows there really isn’t a cause for much of my anxiety. 

 

My old psych doc once told me I needed to seek inpatient treatment for my anxiety.  I laughed.  You could spend a lifetime trying to make sense of this and have no answer. 

I feel for you so much. Anxiety has been my worst symptoms and unrelenting it seems. I am finally starting to feel it break. It gets better.

Tonight my husband was joking around and complaining about feeling tired while I sat there holding my thoughts and fighting an anxiety attack.  He looks at me and says “what’s wrong with you”.  I seriously thought I was going to have a breakdown.

 

For me it’s not worth discussing anymore, it’s my life at the moment and I accept that, it just is not easy.  It’s not like the flu, you just don’t know when it will all end if ever.

 

I am staying positive, pushing through these difficult moments and believing it will resolve when the taper is over.

 

Thinking of you all..

Yeah my hubby said I cause my anxiety. They just don’t get it, just like we wouldn’t if we weren’t going thru it. It’s not their fault they are blissfully unaware. Shame we aren’t huh x

The irony of this is that we are all on drugs that are supposed to alleviate anxiety!

 

 

 

Yep instead they cause category 5 whatever they were prescribed for! Thanks doc!

Reading all of your replies make me feel like someone understands me and that I am not alone. I have to admit that about half an hour ago, I got the courage to take a shower. I just took my dose of Clonazapam at that point. I sat down on the bathroon floor and wept tears that fell everywhere. I was hidden away, felt so alone but somehow able to get up and come to the computer to read some posts.

 

You have no idea what you words mean to me. I also felt like saying ''Why am I torturing myslef'' but I know I cannot go back. And today I did not go for a walk and the sun was not shining. It actually snowed (I am in Canada) yet the month has been very warm so far.

 

I could not get myself to make supper. I ordered a pizza which others ate. I eat my own organic food which I prepare separetely.

 

Thank you again.

Chanterelle, sorry you are having a tough time.  The good thing is a lot of people here know what it feels like. 

 

I came very close earlier today to saying “screw this, I’m just going back on Klonopin for good.”  It’s definitely the closest I’ve come to that yet.  The anxiety was maddening and I felt like I was losing control.  Like I was crawling out of my skin.  In the midst of it, it’s hard to think it’s going to stop but it does.  I think our bodies eventually get so tired of being anxious that it wears out and starts relaxing a bit.

 

Thanks so much for your understanding. Yes I also felt the same way. I actually woke up anxious and in a deep, dark place in my mind. Also felt  like I was losing control. Cried out in mental anguish, in tears. I do hope that it will get better. I don't know from one day to the other how I am going to be. Yes I think my body is tired and might start relaxing by itself.

 

 

I’m LOL’ing about your “let’s talk it out” comment.  My wife has learned that’s useless.  I guess she’s seen enough now where she knows there really isn’t a cause for much of my anxiety. 

 

My old psych doc once told me I needed to seek inpatient treatment for my anxiety.  I laughed.  You could spend a lifetime trying to make sense of this and have no answer.

 

Yes that is why I keep saying that unless you are going through it, you just don't get it. I know our loved ones mean well but I can't talk it out. It just is. You get it and makes me feel less alone. Thank you for understanding. Yes, I have also been told to seek treatment for anxiety. Well, isn't that why I got the Clonazepam for. Some doctors just don't get it.

Reading all of your replies make me feel like someone understands me and that I am not alone. I have to admit that about half an hour ago, I got the courage to take a shower. I just took my dose of Clonazapam at that point. I sat down on the bathroon floor and wept tears that fell everywhere. I was hidden away, felt so alone but somehow able to get up and come to the computer to read some posts.

 

You have no idea what you words mean to me. I also felt like saying ''Why am I torturing myslef'' but I know I cannot go back. And today I did not go for a walk and the sun was not shining. It actually snowed (I am in Canada) yet the month has been very warm so far.

 

I could not get myself to make supper. I ordered a pizza which others ate. I eat my own organic food which I prepare separetely.

 

Thank you again.

 

You aren’t alone honey, I know u can’t see us but we are right here with u. We all know exactly what ur going thru. It’s ok to cry. I cry nearly every day. X u don’t need to hide when u do. This suffering should not go unseen. X I didn’t walk today either. Every time I stand up I feel like I’m going to be sick today. So I’m in bed. Stay strong honey x

Chanterelle, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I also have to work up the courage to take a shower! I think about it all day - it takes me all day to do it. I am not sure what about it makes me so anxious!

 

Shayna, I am so sorry you are having a hard day. I have had so many days where doing just about anything would make me gag and throw up. It's just awful how overstimulated just existing can be.

 

Hang in there guys - it gets better. I had a calmer day than I've ever had. Still anxiety, but fading.

 

Sending hugs.

That’s such good news fluff. U had a long run of bad days honey so it’s time for u to have some better ones x

Chanterelle and everyone... I so needed to read all of this today!  I also suffer from horrendous anxiety everyday this is my worse symptom.  So scary!  God bless all of you. 

Tonight my husband was joking around and complaining about feeling tired while I sat there holding my thoughts and fighting an anxiety attack.  He looks at me and says “what’s wrong with you”.  I seriously thought I was going to have a breakdown.

 

For me it’s not worth discussing anymore, it’s my life at the moment and I accept that, it just is not easy.  It’s not like the flu, you just don’t know when it will all end if ever.

 

I am staying positive, pushing through these difficult moments and believing it will resolve when the taper is over.

 

Thinking of you all..

 

Sending hugs and love to you!  I totally relate - my husband asked me what is wrong and when I tell him I do not feel well or tell him what symptom :smitten: I am having today - he just sighs - he just gets frustrated and can not fix me so it is hard for him! 

Dianedeedee,

 

I can relate, I have had a few weeks of unrelenting anxiety through out the day.  Saturday I woke to extreme dizziness and nausea.  It appears I am in the same boat as Julia.  I have decided to hold my taper until this resolves.  I am so afraid of being bed bound!

 

I am getting low on my dose and I think it has caught up to me.  I’m a bit discouraged, I was hoping to get a little further before dealing with this.  I thought the anxiety was bad, but the dizziness and nausea are right up there with it.  Battling both is exhausting.

 

The strange thing about the dizziness is that it comes and goes at different times throughout the day.  I just hope it doesn’t progress to 24/7.  I was unable to shower yesterday, but today I could.

 

All I can say is....ugh!!!

Dianedeedee,

 

I can relate, I have had a few weeks of unrelenting anxiety through out the day.  Saturday I woke to extreme dizziness and nausea.  It appears I am in the same boat as Julia.  I have decided to hold my taper until this resolves.  I am so afraid of being bed bound!

 

I am getting low on my dose and I think it has caught up to me.  I’m a bit discouraged, I was hoping to get a little further before dealing with this.  I thought the anxiety was bad, but the dizziness and nausea are right up there with it.  Battling both is exhausting.

 

The strange thing about the dizziness is that it comes and goes at different times throughout the day.  I just hope it doesn’t progress to 24/7.  I was unable to shower yesterday, but today I could.

 

All I can say is....ugh!!!

Hi Seasalt,

I am sorry you are still dealing with this.  It is so frustrating and scary to be dizzy and not be able to do normal things like shower - trust me I can relate.  I will say - mine has not been 24/7.  It does come and go through the day and night.  Sometimes I can get up and start walking and it is not as bad as other times when I get up and have to hold on to something for balance.  I will say - the thing that helped me a couple months ago was to hold.  I got better, even though it was not 100% gone every day - I had a lot more days without it.  Since I cut 2 weeks ago - it has gotten bad again - although yesterday was a little better and today is better too.  Not a lot but enough to make me feel like it will continue to get better.

Please do not get discouraged - I think your holding will help but it may take a few days before it does.  I think, for me, holding for 8 weeks was wise but when I made the cut a couple weeks ago, it was a 10% cut and that may have been too much.  The lower I go, the harder it gets for me.  I am going to try the 2.5% a week like we discussed and hope that helps.  And maybe keep it at 2.5% for a couple weeks at a time - if that is what it takes to function, I will do that.

 

Take care all - you are all in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Julia  :smitten:

Seasalt I am so sorry. I was so proud for you to see how low you have gotten it just doesn't make any sense that you have suffered so much especially with how slow you have tapered.  When I think oh if this anxiety would just go away and then its like oh no it could be replaced with something just as bad or worse.  We have to hang on I just wish we have some answers.