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Fear of going crazy, getting committed, losing control


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I was reflecting on my anxiety and what bothers me so much. It is that I have this fear that it will get out of control, I will go crazy and get committed and back on benzos. Part of me knows that this is not totally rational - I have gotten better over the months and not worse - this hasn't happened yet. However, this fear is really what consumes me, paralyzes me, and makes me non-functional.

 

Is this an OCD symptom, anxiety, both? Anyone else have this and overcome it? Do I need to work on it cognitively, or let the benzo injury heal? Confused.

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Instead of reflecting on your anxiety, consider trying to experience it.  Where is the feeling?  How big (volume) is that feeling?  Is it bigger than a breadbox?  How intense is the feeling?  What's its shape?  Are there any other sensations associated with it (color, aroma, taste)??

 

Each time you do it you have to pretend that you've never ever done it before.  So you have to carefully trace out the feeling each time.  Many people have an interesting experience when they do this little exercise a few successive times.

 

All of the other stuff is a little bit OCD, but that's fine.  OCD happens.  Sometimes, a little OCD is even a desired quality. 

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I was reflecting on my anxiety and what bothers me so much. It is that I have this fear that it will get out of control, I will go crazy and get committed and back on benzos. Part of me knows that this is not totally rational - I have gotten better over the months and not worse - this hasn't happened yet. However, this fear is really what consumes me, paralyzes me, and makes me non-functional.

 

Is this an OCD symptom, anxiety, both? Anyone else have this and overcome it? Do I need to work on it cognitively, or let the benzo injury heal? Confused.

 

Fluff

 

I can sympathize with what you are experiencing.  I went through the same issues, severe anxiety  and OCD.  I remember going through horrible anxiety at month 13 and then OCD that went on for three months.  I thought u was a lost cause, the worst was going to happen to me.  There was no hope and I was destined for doom.  The fear was crippling.  All this while keeping a 50 hour a week job.

 

Today at month 17, I don't really remember that pain.  I mean, I remember the suffering but I got to a point where I convinced myself of the actual truth.  These thoughts were not me.  They were not who I am, and most of all, I learned that I no longer needed to be afraid of them.  These things are what benzos does to a person and is part of the recovery process.  They will pass in time.  Time is the healer but I had to face them for what they were.  All lies.  Once I did this, u was able to let it all go.

 

For me personally, my faith in God is what got me through.

With that faith I knew I no longer needed to be afraid or fear.  I have learned to look at and handle things much differently in my life by this experience.

 

Hoping you find peace and healing.

 

Hingie

 

 

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This will likely be one of, if not the most intense period of suffering we experience in life.  When you walk out of this valley, you will be able to handle anything

 

:thumbsup:

 

Hingie

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Hingie, thank you so much for sharing this story and your reassurances.

 

I have been taking this approach too - just accepting the thoughts, realizing that they aren't real, and moving on with my brain. It helps, but man, distracting yourself 15 hours a day is hard!

 

I definitely is!  I'm right there with you :)

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I hope I make it out!

 

You will make it!  I came to realize there were really only two choices in this.  Failure is not an option.  This will end so perseverance is a must

 

Hope you have a healing day

 

Hingie

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I didn't get any response to my similar post. I've had anxiety since coming off zopiclone 26 months ago. Mild at first but last 18months been like OCD type symptoms.
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Instead of reflecting on your anxiety, consider trying to experience it.  Where is the feeling?  How big (volume) is that feeling?  Is it bigger than a breadbox?  How intense is the feeling?  What's its shape?  Are there any other sensations associated with it (color, aroma, taste)??

 

Each time you do it you have to pretend that you've never ever done it before.  So you have to carefully trace out the feeling each time.  Many people have an interesting experience when they do this little exercise a few successive times.

 

All of the other stuff is a little bit OCD, but that's fine.  OCD happens.  Sometimes, a little OCD is even a desired quality.

 

I needed to see this as my meditation and mindfulness techniques aren't working like they did before. I will definitely give that a try next time anxiety tries to shoot me in the head. Thank you!

 

Fluffer. My dear woman. You have so much strength and resilience! I admire you. You got this. You will make it out - We all will.

 

Andie, xx

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Fluffer: Trust me, I completely understand and feel your fear. I have hypochondria thanks to benzos. I'm working through it but seeing the inside of a hospital or having to take any meds at all makes me crazy. I shut down and go into a world of darkness.
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leann, I am so sorry. That sounds just horrendous. The only thing that I can think to do is reinstate, but then I'll be a prisoner forever or have a ten times worse withdrawal than now. It is a horrible feeling being trapped in one's own mind. I don't know how you survived 18 months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't get Windows but do cope better some days than others. It definitely waxes and wanes, and for me personally got worse after trying anti depressants. I do get weary of not improving but not as bad as it was in acute. My GP refused give me any more zop so reinstating wasn't an option for me. I have learned that everyone is different, just because I'm not healed at 26 months no reason to think it  will be same  for you. Been bad recently due to family from hell, so try and avoid stress if you can ,I have read if you didn't have OCD before withdrawal once you are healed it will go.

 

 

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Fluff I can feel your fear...started my taper too fast and since 10 weeks my mental else has been worst and worst.

I have pre existing anxiety/ ocd obsessional and catastrophic thinking.

 

The difference is that I still have to taper and I feel so stuck.

 

It is more than 4 am and I don’t sleep because I am spiraling since seeing my psychiatrist today. Should I try an AD that helped some ? And what if I’m worst ? I feel stuck in my mental torture and anxiety.

 

Lot of people don’t go on forums while in withdrawal and I think it can be a better choice , keeping it simple.

 

Also I know that the next day when I worry like this all night long is horrendous ! Almost makes me want to go to the psych ward 2 weeks ago. I had to take a rescue dose .

 

So I’m so scared how is tomorrow going to be...it is so tough I wish I would be in your position with no more poison in my body .

 

 

Warrior you had anxiety and ocd before , how do you cope ?

 

Am I the only one with night full of anxiety adding more anxiety because the next day will be horrendous ? It is really a trigger to me :'(

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Carla,

At this point I don't cope - I go through the motions and hope to the Gods that it passes. I'm sorry my reply isn't helpful, I've been in a slum.

 

Here's to better days ahead

Sending hugs

 

Andie, xx

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Fluff I can feel your fear...started my taper too fast and since 10 weeks my mental else has been worst and worst.

I have pre existing anxiety/ ocd obsessional and catastrophic thinking.

 

The difference is that I still have to taper and I feel so stuck.

 

It is more than 4 am and I don’t sleep because I am spiraling since seeing my psychiatrist today. Should I try an AD that helped some ? And what if I’m worst ? I feel stuck in my mental torture and anxiety.

 

Lot of people don’t go on forums while in withdrawal and I think it can be a better choice , keeping it simple.

 

Also I know that the next day when I worry like this all night long is horrendous ! Almost makes me want to go to the psych ward 2 weeks ago. I had to take a rescue dose .

 

So I’m so scared how is tomorrow going to be...it is so tough I wish I would be in your position with no more poison in my body .

 

 

Warrior you had anxiety and ocd before , how do you cope ?

 

Am I the only one with night full of anxiety adding more anxiety because the next day will be horrendous ? It is really a trigger to me :'(

 

What you are experiencing is no doubt benzo effects.  Find coping skills and endure.  I know it feels impossible.  Like you are the worse case.  This is what benzos does to you when you stop or cut down. 

 

Pls look at coping methods and find what works for you.  This will pass in time but until that time, this is a common experience

 

Wishing you peace in the days ahead.

 

Hingie

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