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17 years of my life


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I am joining benzo buddies for help with the taper process and withdrawal process from 2 mg clonazepam nightly that I take for panic disorder. I have been on this medication for 17 years and while it helps me to be able to deal with my days and nights. I believe I may be dependent on it and would like to turtle slowly get off of it as not to disrupt my life too much. If that is even possible at this point.
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Hello magnoliablossom, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I'm glad to hear you're going about this in a methodical fashion, it's best to educate yourself before you start the process so you can know what to expect and also to plan it properly.  I love the fact that you know going slow is the best way, but you'll likely have some disruption to your life, this is a big deal but worth doing in my opinion.

 

I'll provide some links to help you find your way around the forum but we typically suggest reducing your dose by about 5-10% every week or two depending on your symptoms, they should guide you.

 

We're glad you found us, be sure to ask lots of questions, we're here to help.

 

Pamster

 

The Ashton Manual

 

Planning your taper (Taper Plans)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

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Hello and welcome to BB community

 

Pamster gave you great advice and super great links.  You will find great information and a lot of support here in the community on your journey to getting off the benzo’s. 

 

Slow and steady is the best way to go, so you are already ahead of the process.  Way to go!

 

I hope you find all the answers you are looking for and I hope to see you on the forum’s.

 

Marie

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I appreciate the welcome. I am confused as to how to access forums or a forum where members are currently on it. I would also like to know how the taper process goes or how it went with y'all. If I were to try to stay at a certain taper for a month would that help or hurt me? I've read some stories of people that were responding to the research that was being done for people that had completed their process and a couple said they are now bedridden. Is that normal? I am worried that I don't have the ability to be taken care of while bedridden. I guess that I'm saying I'm terrified of the process. I'm trying to be hopeful but after reading that it has more than scared me.
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I understand not knowing how the forum works, when I first signed up I was very confused.  The best way to get familiar with things is to start clicking on links, the first one you might try is the withdrawal support link, that will take you to the particular board and you can read the subjects others are talking about, click on any that interest you and respond if you feel like it.  Or you could start a thread of your own by clicking on New Topic, then you give your post a title and write your message, then hit post.  After awhile you'll get replies that you can see by clicking on the icon on the upper left of your window next to your profile that says, Show new replies to my posts.

 

Or you can keep talking to us here until you get more comfortable.

 

Your taper will be yours to determine, you'll decide how much to reduce, when you do this you'll most likely feel the effects within 3 days, many stabilize between 7-10 days later then they make another reduction.  You can hold for as long as you need to or cut as small as you want, this is for you to determine.

 

We understand your fear, this process is all about fear, in fact it's one of our symptoms, we'll help you do this.

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I am so sorry I wrote you a PM as I did not see this one. Thank you for being patient with me in my time of need. I have read a few other stories on here from others from years ago that went through crazy withdrawal symptoms for years. Even after tapering slowly. Is that what I should expect? Pamster how long before you felt normal again after you jumped?  What about you Shelley? I read your messages all the way through and your last message still said that you were still having some issues after a year. Idk if I'm that strong. You both are very strong and courageous but I think my whole family would leave me if I had all these withdrawal symptoms for that long. I thought this community would help me feel stronger but it's made me more nervous than before. I'm sorry that I'm complaining to y'all but I really am unsure as to what to do now.
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No worries magnoliablossom, I understand how difficult it is to navigate the forum.  I'm not sure what Shelley you're referring to, I remember one from around 2011 but she's not active anymore. 

 

If you'll click on the words BenzoBuddies Community Forum at the top of your page and scroll to the bottom of the page you'll see all of the members who are currently online, there are 53 at the moment.  And as I said, you can see the date and time of each post and the little green light next to someones profile name will show you if they're online at the moment.

 

It took me 14 months to recover from my cold turkey which we don't advise, a slow taper is best to help minimize symptoms.  It takes a long time to recover from taking benzodiazepines, it makes changes to the way your brain sends messages to your central nervous system and this damage cannot be repaired overnight, it takes awhile. 

 

Keep educating yourself so you won't be so fearful and if you decide you can't do it we understand.  I have a question, what was your original dose, have you had to increase it through the years in order to get the same effect?

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Hi - The taper can be confusing, scary and frustrating.  I am still trying to figure out mine.  I can tell you, that I DO KNOW that going slower and a smaller %, gives me less SX.  So this keeps me from being bedridden.  At first I when I was reducing from K, I was having some uncomfortable SX, and could feel every cut ( but that is somewhat normal, and I should have maybe been making smaller cuts) but I was on a mission to just get off the benzo’s.  So then I decided to c/o to Valium as it has a longer half life and I had read that made it a better choice to wean off of the benzo’s, so that’s what I did.  However I did not follow the Ashton Protocol and went way too fast and was super sick, and ended up with headaches and migraines and the benzo flu and the lead to being bed ridden.  I then continued to cut per the Ashton Manual and that was too fast for me, and I just was so sick and at 10 mg, I just hit a wall and crashed.  So I had to hold and get stabilized.  So then I tried a liquid Valium daily micro taper, and that didn’t work for me.  So now I am pack to pill’s, and I just did a .35mg drop and that was about 3.4% drop, and I had basically zero SX so far and I am on day 5.  Usually by day 3 in the past whey I was cutting at 1 mg cuts ~ 10%, I was feeling it bad, and by day 5 I was hating life.  So there isn’t “in my opinion” any reason to have to suffer during this process. 

 

I have let go of the calendar and the “fear”.  It will take as long as it takes, as long as I am reducing, and I am not updosing (under no circumstances) and what I mean for me by updosing, is I am feeling pretty good now, life is getting back to normal, and the regulars life stresses are back, so I can’t go take an extra dose because something happens, or I can’t sleep on a certain night.  Some people that have gone too fast, for what ever reason, and just can’t stabilize, sometimes do have to updose and those are legitimate reasons.  So I don’t want to confuse the two. So having a plan is good, but not being tied to a certain date is even better.  It takes the pressure off ;)

 

These boards can be scary, there are a lot of people suffering.  I have suffered myself and it is nice to have a place to come, where others can relate to what you are going through.  But many people come off benzo’s and never end up here, because they don’t have any problems at all.  So don’t let the boards scare you.  I think more and more with the help of the old timers, we are all learning that slow and steady is the way to go, and will allow your Central Nervous System to adjust on the way down, instead of shocking it with big cuts.  However, some people’s systems can handle the bigger cut’s, again they have successfully followed The Ashton Manual, or they don’t end up here on BB’s. 

 

You will find what works for you.  What are you thinking about doing for your taper?  Have you decided?  Could you create a signature, so we know what you are taking and if you have started reducing what you have reduced to.  You go to your profile, forum profile and in the signature  box, is where you create your signature, then hit change profile button. You will see my signature below.

 

 

Marie

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Thank you Pamster, as for Shelley I thought I had clicked on how many times and for some reason ended up on Shelley from back in 2011. Her journal style entries really scared me. I don't even know how you function with all the different CNS symptoms that happen. I am disabled but still could not be bedridden. I am nervous and I don't know how my body will react but to answer your questions I was initially on 5 mg of clonazepam initially 17 years ago. My doctor was innappriate to me and I seen another p doctor and they got me down to 2 mg which I am still on 17 years later. So, that scares me to because I'm seeing people on here that have been on it for a couple of weeks on a low dose and took forever to get off of it as well as had a very hard time with it.

I thought about coming down at least 1 mg but I've seen where people are having acute withdrawal from the initial dose. I want to do this but I'm really not that strong I don't feel. I don't have any support at home...I cry about this and obsess about it but I don't get any kind of support from my husband except "do what you gotta do and it is what it is". But, he definitely does not want to be disturbed while I do this at all.

 

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Thank you how many times, and to answer your question I'm on a lot of medications and some don't mix well or so they say and that is why I have thought about getting off clonazepam as I thought maybe my pain pills were more important to me but I don't know anymore. They both seem necessary and hard to come off of. Idk of I'm supposed to put all of my meds on here or just my benzos. But, my current dosage is 2 mg and I talked to my pdoctor to try to get off of them before and he asked why would I want to come off of them? I gave him my answer and I don't think he's ever taken anyone off of this medication before because he took a long time to find something in a book and then said to slowly taper .5 mg a week and to be off in 4 weeks. Then I read up on it and it was very fast in most people's eyes. I just want to do it the best way I can for my body and it seems as if there is no best way.
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I see.  You can put whatever you are comfortable with in your signature.  Some people say polydrugged (that indicates, they are on numerous medications) you can put whatever you are comfortable with.  In fact, you don’t even have to do a signature.  It is just helpful to other members on the board when you ask questions, so they have some kind of guide in order to best guide you in an answer. 

 

Your doctor did suggest too fast of a taper.  Perhaps you could direct him to the Ashton manual for guidance on tapering off, and then inform him you have been doing some further research and even that can be a bit fast for some people.  Since your doctor sees no reason for you to go off of the medication, you are in a perfect situation to do a very very slow taper.  A lot of people don’t  have that luxury and are put in positions where they are being forced off of benzo’s quickly, and many have to scramble to find new providers that will work with them to help them with a slower process to come off.  I will warn you of this possibility.  Often times people find themselves in difficult situations because their current doctors retire or die (my daughters doctor was killed by a tree branch on the highway) and a new doctor will want to take you off the benzo’s, and sometimes fast.  So keep that in the back of your mind too, as you are thinking about what to do. 

 

If he isn’t willing to taper you slowly, you don’t need to say anything to him, and we can help you with the taper process, and doing it slowly....just let us know what you decide.  We are here for you  :)

 

Marie

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Thank you how many times, I have done nothing but obsess about my psychiatrist passing away or retiring as he is 70 years old. I've even asked him about it. It scares me every day.

How long have you been tapering so far?

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