🚬Quitting cigarettes during w/d - out of desperation 🚬

Little bit of pretext: I’m only around 2 months out and I’ve been undergoing the severely unpleasant  mental stuff, a good bit of temple/eye pressure and a spoonful of teeth pain every now and again.

I had bit of a ‘fright’ this past weekend as I gradually dipped back into a bad wave, I thought about how dire my situation is and how unpleasant my symptoms are, that if I’m gonna fight this I need to go all out and stop smoking. 

 

I actually had some weird moments of clarity a couple weeks ago when having a cigarette, only on occasions, usually in the morning, the brain fog seemed to lift a little for 10-20 mins post-cig and I’d suddenly have my head above water, hello world, I’m back! Reading back on historic threads others have reported this feeling too, though some went so far to say smoking was good for withdrawal as it boosted serotonin levels lmao...

There’s mixed opinion on here whether it’s sensible to quit during the withdrawal from benzos, even Heather Ashton says it’s not a good idea. 

 

I’ve always held back on my cig intake when in previous withdrawals, hangovers and illnesses, I cut down significantly this time too, sometimes down to one a day. I got ahead of myself though, during a very mild window last week (a slight alleviation of some anxiety/depression) my cig intake crept up. 5 days ago I slammed two cigarettes in an hour on my way in to work, oops, panic attack time...and that was that.  :'(

 

The derealisation increased, as if it had fused with the usual depleting nicotine brain fog and formed a pact, to send me as far away from my surroundings as is possible. I was out in the sunshine on the first day, barely able to focus on my surroundings, it felt like I had severe hayfever/flu, the derealisation/brain fog was and is worse. Pangs of anxiety, guilt, depression kept smacking me in the guts, no more intense than previous to quitting cigs, but this has been mixed with occasional feelings of wellbeing, something I’ve experienced numerous times quitting cigs, it’s like your body thanks you for packing them in and gives you a little tickle of happiness as it begins to function without the impediment of the cigarettes. That’s nice. 

 

The added brain fog isn’t so nice though. 

 

Anyhow, now the nicotine has left my system, I’m not sure if I feel much better or worse, I feel a little calmer, the depression isn’t as severe as it was a few days back, but the derealisation increase is making me more anxious. Sleep definitely hasn’t improved, this time last week I was on a run of a few 6 hour sleeps, one 7 hour, was beginning to not remember my vivid nightmares, this past few nights I’ve been spooked awake by dread around 4-5am every night. 

 

I’ll try and report back to this thread when I’ve been quit a little longer, hoping it alleviates some of the anxiety side, anxiety causes the brain fog, so I’m hoping it will eventually lift just a tiny bit of that away. Though it could be a while before I see that benefit, I’ve quit cigs cold turkey a number of times, it’s nothing compared to benzos of course, but I have suffered from pretty bad brain fog in the past, a year ago I quit for a month, I only started up again because I was sick of feeling like the brain fog was holding me back from fully enjoying life. 

Good luck, hope it helps. I found the change in blood sugar really through me off, and made things worse. I'll give up once healed, should be a breeze compared to WD

Thanks, not sure how long I’ll stick it out for, I’m not in the mood for quitting really, it’s just out of desperation to improve the symptoms, if it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference I’ll go back on them. Had a bad wave earlier this week and wanted any way out.

I was a smoker for some 14 years and found it to be a bitch to quit during my acute phase. It wasn't only the physical s/e of trying to quit but the mental ones too. Ciggs had become so ingrained in my psyche as a habit and emotional coping technique that it was really hard. I failed many attempts

 

I ended up downgrading to this one brand called Carlton. They are super low in nicotine. Smoked those for several months until one day the liquor store attendant suggested I just quit since these barely have any nicotine. I then tried c/t once again based on his suggestion and that time was able to do it! Haven't touched a cig since. Can't even stand the smell now.

 

The lower intake of nicotine was easier on my benzo brain while at the same time I used those month preparing myself mentally to eventually jump off. Like you I wasn't ready to quit all those other times. It was forced due to the benzo crap. Then I finally was ready. This brand close the gap for me.

 

Not saying this is the route you should or will take. Just know if you keep at it you'll find a way.

Thank you for the advice, I already have had a relatively low nicotine intake anyway - I’ve been having a max of 4 or 5 roll-up cigs a day since my C/T, none for 5 days now - during the height of my valium use I was smoking 12 box smokes a day and drinking 2 bottles of (sugar free) caffeinated soda. I stopped caffeine of any kind after week 3, I avoid sugar (I do eat regular savoury carbs though) and now I’ve not been smoking. Hoping that removing as much fuel from the fire as possible will allow it to burn out quicker, I think even a small amount of smoking has been playing havoc with my CNS and mood.

 

Although yeah, I don’t feel too great right now, I’ve been stuffing my face and now I’ve been craving a cigarette for a good couple of hours, longer cravings than I’ve had in the past. It’s like I kind of feel my symptoms are a little more manageable today, my mind IS a little calmer, my depression has temporarily lifted a little, but now my brain is saying “Look, you’re doing better now, it’s just a cigarette you need, then the brain fog will lift and you’ll be happier, it’s okay, just one...or two...” Eurgh, it really does feel like it would improve my mood right now, it could just be a little temporary window I’m heading into that’s slightly alleviated some of the mental stuff and completely unrelated to stopping the cigs. 🤷‍♂️

Tobacco smoking interferes with GABAA neuroadaptations in alcohol withdrawal but not nicotine use alone. https://www.pnas.org/content/111/50/18031

 

When I was smoking during withdrawal it revved up my anxiety severely but it took me a while to make the connection while in acute. I quit cigs after 1 month off diazepam and overall felt much better apart from added depression. I continued to use nicotine lozenges which helps the cog fog. I tried a cigarette the other day and it revved me up bad, gave me panic, some palps and muscle twitches, tinnitus and pain/tightness in my jaw and neck. It definitely helped me to feel normal again underneath that crap but I suspect this is because I'm not quite over the dependency at 2 months off. I would definitely stay away from them and just use nicotine products. The nicotine makes you feel a teency bit over stimulated at times but it's not bothersome and passes quickly. Pretty much the same as if a regular person had too much nicotine.

Thank you for that, I might give lozenges a try, I’d do an e-cig but they’ve made me feel bad juju when I’m not in withdrawal 🤷‍♂️

 

Anyway I stopped Monday morning, it’s Saturday morning now, I think the worst of my nicotine withdrawal symptoms have subsided but the cog fog is still quite bad, hopefully something like a lozenge will clear that a little.

 

I read through all your posts, I’ll follow your page closely, you’re a fellow 20 something stop starter a month further ahead than me so your posts were really interesting to read!

Eurgh, I lasted 10 days, it seemed to help most of my symptoms quite a lot, I smoked a couple of cigarettes today and each time I felt rough afterwards. Now my eye pressure symptom is back - not sure if that’s been triggered by the cigs today :/

 

Back to quitting I guess.

 

Interesting.... I've been smoking 2 packs a day which has to stop! Don't want to put myself through stopping completely at the moment tho

Eurgh, I lasted 10 days, it seemed to help most of my symptoms quite a lot, I smoked a couple of cigarettes today and each time I felt rough afterwards. Now my eye pressure symptom is back - not sure if that’s been triggered by the cigs today :/

 

Back to quitting I guess.

 

That's alright man 10 days is a good try, you'll get there. I've had many failed attempts in the past, one even lasting a year, that's partly what made quitting this time easy. What also helped me was letting my brain make the connection that cigs make me feel more bad than good, just need to overlook that initial antidepressant effect.

 

I just discovered that vaping nicotine salts is much better than the lozenges and other forms. It actually feels like a cigarette to a reasonable degree and my motivation/focus is up dramatically. There is a different rev compared to the free base nicotine that I assume is in lozenges but it still pales in comparison to an actual cigarette. It just feels like I've had a bit too much coffee (under normal circumstances) and get a little headache if I accidentally have a bit much, which isn't hard with nicotine salts due to the potency.

 

Every single morning I've been miserable since quitting smoking and I stopped realising it at a point. Today I woke up after a shitty sleep and a flare up caused by stress, I had a few puffs of the vape and not only felt markedly better but I WANTED to start my day. This hasn't happened since quitting smoking as far as I can remember. I'm really glad because maybe now I can stop considering the fact I might need to take Adderall to get through college.

 

Just a word of caution, vaping can be way more addictive than smoking for 2 reasons, the belief it's healthier and the fact you can do it almost anywhere without issue. I've heard of many people becoming more hooked on the vape when transferring. You need to make the switch with a plan in mind or chances are you'll just end up consuming way more nicotine than before. I would be careful because I suspect our dopamine system gets screwed with pretty bad from benzo withdrawal and you don't want to potentially replace dopamine healing with high doses of nicotine. Not sure if it works like this but seems plausible.

 

Hope this is helpful in quitting! I know it would have been a breeze for me had I been using this vape.