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Xanax, Lyrica and Alcohol - How could I be so stupid?


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I'm 24 and in protracted withdrawal. I was prescribed low doses of Valium for 3 periods of around 4 months, successfully withdrew each time without prolonged issues and this resulted in some dangerous confidence. I also drank a lot on and off with and without benzos. Started taking Xanax July 2020 and drinking with it and within 3 months was taking 8mg a day on average. I was also prescribed 300mg Lyrica daily and tapered it simultaneously. I had also withdrawn from Lyrica about 3 times in the past so was pretty kindled there too.

 

My taper was very quick and horrifying, the experience can be described as being a 5 year old scattered on speed while in a bad acid trip. Extremely helpless, stupid and freaked out.

First I halved my dose to 4mg and stopped drinking for a week, then I cut my dose to 2mg for 2 weeks and then freaked out due to the intensity of the symptoms and wanted off asap so cut my dose to somewhere between 0.125mg and 0.25mg at night and added 15mg Valium. Stayed on this dose for 1.5 months and then stopped the Xanax. Over the next 3 months or so reduced the Valium to 0mg in January. In February I managed to kick the Lyrica and smoking cigarettes.

 

3 months later I'm still experiencing the whole range of symptoms on and off in the typical non-linear fashion, although they aren't such a shock when they re-emerge so things are definitely improving. The thing holding me back is the cycle between anxiety, rage and emptiness. I'm very emotionally numb and find it hard to care about serious matters. I get almost nothing done due to these emotions or lack thereof.

 

Things that helped me:

 

The novel anti-depressant Agomelatine has personally helped with self awareness which is important when you're suicidal as ever and it puts me to sleep usually a half hour after taking it but doesn't make me feel sedated.

 

Cannabis has been a great help although it definitely increases anxiety if you aren't an avid smoker or get the wrong strain. Indica's worked best. The negative effects have mostly shown when I'm already experiencing dp/dr. For the most part it has worked great to keep my mind off things, helps me to enjoy simple things and be able to sleep. Even at the start when things were severe I would at minimum sleep for 4 hours and then be able to sleep on and off until morning. Unfortunately it makes it easier to give up trying which means coping skills deteriorate and less gets done which adds to the stress. If I had of contained it to night time smoking like I did the entire taper I don't think it would have caused much issue unless it's preventing healing. So far I don't think it is, it just seems to exacerbate symptoms at times but I won't know until I stop.

 

Quitting caffeine but particularly tobacco helped a lot. Caffeine can be managed in small amounts but there's no winning with tobacco. Until you stop you don't realise how much it truly revs you up. It took me a while to actually make the connection with the tobacco. Switching to nicotine products works great. Nicotine alone doesn't rev you up unless you have a lot and it doesn't prevent healing like tobacco does. So you can at least avoid the added cog fog when quitting but the depression isn't easy.

 

Taking vitamin C seemed to help with general feelings of wellbeing.

 

Apart from these I've mostly been too scared to try anything but I will be trying some supplements soon and will report my experience.

 

The main thing that helps is supportive people and time to spare. Without these two things I might have given up. Completing a simple first year college subject while in acute was near impossible my mind was that scrambled. Fortunately that was my only responsibility apart from some housework.

 

Sorry if it's a bit overboard just wanted to share my general experience as there doesn't seem to be too many early 20s buddies.

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Hello My Misery Owes Me, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

Wow, that was some heavy usage and a rapid taper, I'm not surprised you're still feeling pretty rough.  It sounds like you've found some things to help you through this, I'd hold off on the supplements they can complicate things while your central nervous system is so sensitive.  If you do add something, only do one at time and be sure to check on our Alternative Therapies & Supplements board to see what other members have to say.

 

It can take many months to recover from this and we don't consider someone protracted until at least 18 months so what you're going through is normal for those of us who will suffer from benzo withdrawal.  It sounds like your previous use caught up to you, we have many members who have experienced the same thing.

 

I'll give you some links to help you navigate the forum but we're glad you're here and hope we can help you through this.

 

Pamster

 

The Ashton Manual

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support 

 

 

 

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