4 months updates

I would love to post a positive updates, but hey, its horror, after having some relief for 1-2 days, the symptoms back multiplied, intrusive thoughts, high anxiety, muscle pain, ect. I'm not sure how would I be able t handle this any longer, feel so hopeless, its a lonely battle.

Its tough to celebrate being benzo free when you're so miserable, we get it.  I remember being discouraged at 6 months, for some reason I had it in my head that it would be it for me, it doesn't work like that though.

 

I know you can't see how you can go on but you will, you'll survive each minute, each hour and each day until your body finally completes its repairs.  Hang in there and keep doing your best to distract yourself from your symptoms. 

I just completed month 4 and it was miserable.  The day I entered month 5 everything lifted.  I have felt almost completely normal.  It may be a window, it may not, but it is real and life is so amazing right now.

 

Hang in there.  Your time will come.  You will heal.

Thanks!

Pamster- I can take it for another 5 years if I am certain that I'm going to heal, but to fight for uncertain goal, now thats what makes it difficult. anyway i hope i can celebrate in my next post.

 

Ben- happy for you, and i hope its not just a window, but you are healed

If that is your criteria, I think it's possible that a little "software update" will work. Statistically speaking, you can practically guarantee that you'll be better in 5 years. It's very likely you'll be better in half that time.

 

What you believe will happen affects the outcome by a mechanism akin to self-fulfilling prophecy. Have faith that you will be one of the majority that recovers on a more normal timescale (several months rather than several years) and you make it more likely to happen. If you can treat this as a practical certainty despite what your benzo brain is constantly telling you, it really does count for a lot. "Software update" probably makes it sound a little easier than it is but what I mean is that I am referring to mindset as the software. Spontaneous and involuntary thoughts are not the same as your mindset, which is something deeper. I've seen this sort of advice formulated as "don't mistake feelings for facts"... I think it's a great maxim for benzo recovery.

 

Congratulations on benzo free. You're in the thick of it and it sounds like you're coping admirably. It gets better. Good luck helps too, so I will wish you that.