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BENZO FREE After 8 years Diazepam


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Hi guys,

 

I've finally wriggled off the hook after a 13 month taper. Not much of a 'jump' from 0.1mg but I have been on diazepam for nearly 9 years when you include the taper so I want to mark the date. No more benzo prescriptions. Yay!!!  It happens! I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes but it does.

 

I haven't been very active on this site since I found it (while on hold at 1mg) as I've been too symptomatic to post most of the time. Before that I had cut too fast as I didn't know what I was doing.

 

I am so grateful that I found BBs. I have learned a lot on here but if I had to pick one thing that is the most important these days. WE ALL HEAL! 😊 Thank you so much for teaching me that. Unless a person has been through this process they would not get just how important that message is.

 

Thank you so much to everyone for all your support. This includes all the Buddies who have asked the questions I needed answers to when I couldn't post and the Buddies that answered them. I've a road ahead so hopefully I'll be able to post more as time goes by.

 

Sending wishes for long windows and healing to everyone that needs it. To anyone reading this while tapering, keep moving in the right direction and remember that holds are in the right direction too. Facing forward. Keep going. You will get there!!!

 

Roxy :)

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YAY!!! That is so exciting! Good job :) You worked so incredibly hard and you did it! I hope you continue to feel better and better every day and that you can do things that bring you joy!

 

I always love seeing that someone has gotten better. I would definitely enjoy hearing updates on how everything goes now that you are free!

 

Thank you for the reassurance - it made me smile!

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What a great achievement!

 

Great message too. I agree that it having come through the other side, the value of emphasising a hopeful message becomes clearer. I hope that you go from strength to strength now that your taper is completed. That's been my experience, so I know it can happen.

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Hi Roxy , congratulation for this big achievement .

 

I wish you all the best for the rest of your journey :)

 

Carla

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Thank you Goldendood  :) I am glad that I gave you some reassurance.  I see that you are coming towards the end of your taper so not long now. Try not to rush the last bit though. Be guided by the intensity of your symptoms. We don’t heal any quicker by jumping over the line faster. Our bodies have to catch up with the changes we present to them with our cuts.

 

I will be staying around and posting more when my mind starts to clear. I am going to try to work out and post about when morphing symptoms disappear and when I get initial windows in core symptoms etc. from this point on, symptoms allowing!

 

Right now I am in a window (foggy) and have an odd feeling of calm and am getting short glimpses of crystal clear thinking that I haven’t had for nearly a decade. I am smiling about it. I felt a bit exposed in the run up to the ‘jump’ but now I feel unusually content. I guess that’s my first post jump update!

 

I will be still reading (and posting) on Withdrawal Support so I’ll watch out for your jump. You’ll get there!! You have done most of your taper already. :thumbsup:

 

Have a lovely evening, Roxy

 

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Thank you diaz-e-Bam  :) Your message is very reassuring.

 

It means so much to hear from the people who went ahead that they are recovering from this.  I have been reading your posts here and there for a few months and found quite a few of them helpful to me as you write in a clear informative way. Thank you. I was not able to reply or join in the conversation at the time to pass on my thanks due to being too symptomatic (strong DR being the current main culprit) but I have been following a fair bit.

 

I hope that any remaining symptoms clear up quickly for you. I will watch out for you on the main boards. Its great to hear that you have been recovering steadily and well.

 

Have a lovely evening, Roxy

 

 

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Thank you Carla  :) I made it in the end!! You will get there too. You are half way now!!!  :thumbsup: Taper at your body’s pace. It will let you know. 

 

I sort of lost touch for a bit as I have been too symptomatic to post but I am going to revisit the anxiety resources you gave me a while back soon. Thank you again. :thumbsup:

 

I hope that you have a lovely evening and sending wishes for a smooth taper. I will be cheering you on 😊 Roxy

 

 

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You are so incredibly lovely, Roxy! Thank you  :smitten:

 

It is awesome that you are feeling calmness and have found yourself smiling! Keep embracing that. I'm so happy for you! :)

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Congratulations Roxy on getting off.

 

You have achieved something really big and I'm wishing you steady healing every day. 

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Thank you diaz-e-Bam  :) Your message is very reassuring.

 

It means so much to hear from the people who went ahead that they are recovering from this.  I have been reading your posts here and there for a few months and found quite a few of them helpful to me as you write in a clear informative way. Thank you. I was not able to reply or join in the conversation at the time to pass on my thanks due to being too symptomatic (strong DR being the current main culprit) but I have been following a fair bit.

 

I hope that any remaining symptoms clear up quickly for you. I will watch out for you on the main boards. Its great to hear that you have been recovering steadily and well.

 

Have a lovely evening, Roxy

Thanks so much  :)

 

You too!

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Congrats roxy!! So happy for u xx is ur sleep getting better? This is my biggest issue too. I’m almost done at 0.12ml x
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Thanks so much Shayna 😊

 

I have been reading your posts on here since the end of December last year but have been too symptomatic to post most of the time. At one point our insomnia seemed to be in sync for weeks. I’ve enjoyed seeing the pictures of the windows on your Plog to see you were getting some let up along the way. Your windows appeared at the same time as mine!

 

The only noticeable improvements that I have had to date is a break finally in the crazy insomnia and foggy windows starting to appear in the DR. The insomnia finally broke around my jump and I slept a solid 10 hours straight on the third night post jump. I had to recheck the time! I couldn’t believe it. I’ve only had two zero nights in 2 weeks and most nights over 5 hours now. That is a huge improvement from where I was and the sleep feels more natural now.

 

You are at a safe jumping distance now. Yay!! This poison is about to leave your life for good. Try not to get too stressed about the jump. I found it was just like another cut. I built it up in my head to be facing the final fight etc. when I had nothing left to give. That mindset revved up my symptoms so I had a false start and held for another week at the end. It turned out that it was not even one of my hardest cuts.

 

You’ve got this!! Rooting for you.

Roxy

 

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Thanks so much Shayna 😊

 

I have been reading your posts on here since the end of December last year but have been too symptomatic to post most of the time. At one point our insomnia seemed to be in sync for weeks. I’ve enjoyed seeing the pictures of the windows on your Plog to see you were getting some let up along the way. Your windows appeared at the same time as mine!

 

The only noticeable improvements that I have had to date is a break finally in the crazy insomnia and foggy windows starting to appear in the DR. The insomnia finally broke around my jump and I slept a solid 10 hours straight on the third night post jump. I had to recheck the time! I couldn’t believe it. I’ve only had two zero nights in 2 weeks and most nights over 5 hours now. That is a huge improvement from where I was and the sleep feels more natural now.

 

You are at a safe jumping distance now. Yay!! This poison is about to leave your life for good. Try not to get too stressed about the jump. I found it was just like another cut. I built it up in my head to be facing the final fight etc. when I had nothing left to give. That mindset revved up my symptoms so I had a false start and held for another week at the end. It turned out that it was not even one of my hardest cuts.

 

You’ve got this!! Rooting for you.

Roxy

 

Oh really? We synced up! That’s so wonderful we were having windows at the same time honey x even the foggy ones, well take them won’t we xx another buddy suggested I might have stressed myself into that wave, it’s definitely possible. 10 hours? Omg I think I would cry if I slept 10 hours! I’m so happy for u honey! That’s so wonderful and we need that so much for healing x I make my last cut tonight this is it. Thanku so much for sharing how it was for you roxy. It really helps! I hope u heal fast roxy! Well done an amazing battle x

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Thank you Final Healing 😊

 

I see that you jumped on New Years Eve so congratulations to you too.  :thumbsup: What a way to end a year. You won’t forget the date of your annual jump celebrations!

 

I haven’t been on the post withdrawal thread yet (made a conscious decision to save it for post jump). I will see you there soon!

 

Roxy

 

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Thank you Kate08 – Yes, It does indeed feel grand! Very grand!!

 

I didn’t think I would be saying this as I’ve had a very messy haphazard taper (didn’t find BBs until I had already tapered from 20mg to 1mg diazepam) but I’m only 2 weeks out and I can feel some healing already.

 

The drilling insomnia has finally broken after only two weeks off (from a 10 to about a 5 on the scale in my head) and the intensity of the DR has dropped (from a 10 to a 7).  I'm delighted with that for starters!

 

Thank you for all you guys do running this forum. I dread to think where I would be without it. 

 

Take care,

Roxy

 

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Yep Shayna– we definitely synced up since about mid January. Sometimes you were a half day to a day head and vice versa. I was so pleased that you started a Plog at the start of February. I love seeing all the beautiful images of windows appear for you and also as it meant I was either in a window or one was in the post with a first class stamp! We’ll definitely take a window no mater how much fog cover there is. The relief is profound.

 

I really wanted to post so many times but the shaking wet hands, twitching fingers and insanely wired head from DR meant I could only join a few threads for one post! It is so much better now to where it was 2 weeks ago when I jumped. I really related to your posts and your sense of humour got me through some of the tight spots. Thank you!

 

Good luck with this cut. You are so close now. I stressed myself into my worst wave before the jump and had to hold another week. It seems from your Plog that you did the same. Synced again!. It’s a big milestone but after what we’ve done it was not a big event in terms of symptoms – one of the milder waves. I know its hard but do try to sort of sit back and let it happen now. You have done all the hard work. Just roll over that finish line calmly with your head held high.  I hope you heal fast too.

 

Sending lots of healing vibes  :smitten:

Roxy x

 

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Thank you Fluffernutter. 😊

 

I am currently in a window (foggy – I’ve not had a clear one yet) and slept 8 hours last night which I’m very happy with.

 

I am not functioning yet but I had a messy taper after being on quite a high dose for just shy of 9 years at the end. I can say though that there is a very noticeable improvement since I jumped only 2 only weeks ago so being off this poison is making a difference.

 

Wishing you continued healing,

Roxy

 

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Yep Shayna– we definitely synced up since about mid January. Sometimes you were a half day to a day head and vice versa. I was so pleased that you started a Plog at the start of February. I love seeing all the beautiful images of windows appear for you and also as it meant I was either in a window or one was in the post with a first class stamp! We’ll definitely take a window no mater how much fog cover there is. The relief is profound.

 

I really wanted to post so many times but the shaking wet hands, twitching fingers and insanely wired head from DR meant I could only join a few threads for one post! It is so much better now to where it was 2 weeks ago when I jumped. I really related to your posts and your sense of humour got me through some of the tight spots. Thank you!

 

Good luck with this cut. You are so close now. I stressed myself into my worst wave before the jump and had to hold another week. It seems from your Plog that you did the same. Synced again!. It’s a big milestone but after what we’ve done it was not a big event in terms of symptoms – one of the milder waves. I know its hard but do try to sort of sit back and let it happen now. You have done all the hard work. Just roll over that finish line calmly with your head held high.  I hope you heal fast too.

 

Sending lots of healing vibes  :smitten:

Roxy x

 

Thanks so much roxy x I’m so glad my plog helped you, that’s exactly why I did it. I just thought if someone with bad insomnia can see this and get some strength from it then at least I can help 1 person. I’ve had 2 nights of zero - 1 hr so I’m hurting today. But need to keep going and now ur giving me strength hearing things have been better for u x so wonderful x

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Shayna – I’m so sorry you are back I the grip of the dreaded insomnia. It gets insanely brutal and you wonder how your body is going to stick it out but it does. My body sort of shut down on the third night and I’d get a few hours. It felt like some sort of manual override in operation! Hopefully you have reached the end of this wave and have a wide open window today. 

 

Your Plog definitely helped me during those endless days and nights lying in bed with my eyes wide open.  I’m glad what I shared on insomnia has helped you too😊

 

My sleep post jump seems to just keep going at the minute as I slept again last night. I have to keep double checking my watch as I am surprised by this. I’ve set my expectations for recovery speed quite low due to length of use/dose and mainly how messy my taper was. The sleep coming back so quick and well is a very pleasant surprise. I averaged over 7hr/night in the last week. At its very worst that was a weeks worth! The DR is my main problem now. Insomnia seems to be more or less done with unless I am in some sort of one-off super window.

 

Roxy x 

 

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Yep I’ve had a 7hr sleep week. Absolutely horrific I think this week might only be a few hrs more than that. It’s so important to hear from other people with the symptom, especially that it has ended. I know u know what I mean but you think ur going to be like this forever. Fighting that thought is so hard, but I do have windows, and the insomnia is my main symptom now, the others I think will resolve once my sleep does.

 

I think the more sleep u get now roxy will gradually heal the dr too. X I’m so happy for u xx 😘

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